I was walking into the grocery store today and this guy asked if I wanted a pamphlet on saving the planet
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet
Space X has really taken off this past year
What planet is next to Uranus?
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
Its pasteurized before you see it.
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.
Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.
My daughter asked me, "Why are the two planets coming close together?"
"Well, you see... When two planets love each other they can come together in holy astro nomy."
Last evening I walked up the hill in the park to see the planets. Stumbled over a lip in the concrete and went down pretty hard. Ripped pants and skinned hands and knees. When I got to the top I couldn't see a thing.
The view was not worth the trip.
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
What is the best way to observe the two planets between Jupiter and Neptune?
Flat-Earthers hate the fact our planet is spherical, whereas Asgard is flat.
It's a Thor subject for them.
Did you know being a minute is the most dangerous job on the planet?
Because every 60 seconds, a minute passes
How did the space criminal escape from the prison planet?
He achieved ESCAPE VELOCITY
ASTROLOGY.... Because millions of stars and planets have spent billions of years lining themselves up....
....just to let her know, that "she'll meet someone with nice eyes today."
Did you hear about the sheep on Yoda’s planet?
What makes posters and planets similar?
How can you tell that Saturn is the most liked planet in our galaxy?
If you like it, then you have to put a ring on it.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
Saving the planet with humour (Just Eat)
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
When a planet dies...
...does it get an orbituary?
Where can you read about planets exploding?
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet,
It's a good thing I'm married...
I telephoned the tennis star Serena Williams for an interview and asked her, “What’s your favourite planet?”
Her: It’s Venus.
Me: Sorry Venus, would you put Serena on the phone?
Collectively speaking, which are the richest animals on the planet?
Chickens... All of them have at least one buck.
If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
What do planets like to read?
Do you know what’s smaller than a planet?
What type of songs do planets sing?
I've finally started to believe that Pluto is not really a planet...
Especially when I saw him in the cartoon.
What kind of music do planets listen to?
What did Earth say to the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life
Some people dont know why the planets orbit around the sun...
They just don't understand the gravity of the situation.
I bet earth likes to make fun of other planets for having no life..
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
What do the green aliens from planet express order when they’re at the bar?
Duclawwwwwwwww
Edit: **Pizza Planet. Coffee had not kicked in yet.
The planet of Dagobah's favourite music
When God was integrating Planet Earth, he suddenly recalled his Calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
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