The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Fridays?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donfatty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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What did the guinea pig say to the hamster before leaving work on Friday?

Have a good wheek-end!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chonkin_GuineaPig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Every Friday for dinner, I make everything deep fried

I call it Deep Fry-day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Penewine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I know it's Friday the 13th and COVID is raging, but...

Be positive!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/quietconsigliere
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Why did the naked guy go Black Friday shopping?

Because the underpants were a 100% off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbletits
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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Friday was roasting saturday and sunday brutally yet they never occurred a word. Wednesday, being a harmonist, asked them why they stayed mum for which they replied, "because we are weakened in front of you guys".

I was dazed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaylicious17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg

A GregOrIan calendar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_Mog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Black Friday shopping
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday

If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.

Corona just isn't the same without a lime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnrzero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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What kind of birds only appear on Friday the 13th?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoicelessSock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.

They’re Aachen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dymmesdale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?

Prices get slashed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy-Donk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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Where does Friday come before Thursday?

In a dictionary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irishayes86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Have you noticed that after every Friday the 13th

Comes a Saturday the 14th?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleL94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?

A sweet deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?

Kohl’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said how flexible are you? I said I can’t do Fridays.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Happy Friday
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTWGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show β€œJessie” died the day after Friday

So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmy_cod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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Friday, is that mine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abizer2
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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I think everyone should be a little more understanding this Friday.

After all, all conversations will end on a 10-4.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twinsaber123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Oh.... those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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I thought Friday is a sad day.

Turns out tomorrow is sadder day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ah. Those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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Bf is on leave Friday from the navy, need navy sex pun!

TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeHappy402
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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Good Friday is a sad day

And tomorrow is a Saturday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmLuke0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Hope everyone had a GOOD Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perpetualconflict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Friday the 13th may be scary.

But may, May Fri 10 you more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.

"That is correct," I replied.

He said, "Would you be able to work outside those hours?"

I said, "No, I might catch a cold."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Have a Good Friday!

Finger guns

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday. Stays three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?

The horse’s name is Friday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blake4Bama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year.

It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenclaw_VIII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Make sure to visit the tire store on black Friday.

They always have a blowout!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualMobileUser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
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What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Today is a Good Friday

But Jesus will comeback Sunday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IUserThisName
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auralore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
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I hope everyone here has a good Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleeding-paryl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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