The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Monday: Greg. Tuesday: Ian: Wednesday: Greg. Thursday: Ian. Friday: Greg

A GregOrIan calendar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
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I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
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(Monday: Greg) (Tuesday: Ian) (Wednesday: Greg) (Thursday: Ian) (Friday: Greg) (Saturday: Ian) (Sunday: Greg)

Its the Gregorian calendar

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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My coworker told us this dadjoke on Friday

If I catch the Corona Virus, I hope I get Lyme Disease too.

Corona just isn't the same without a lime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwnrzero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
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It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.

They’re Aachen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dymmesdale
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Little_Mog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Black Friday shopping
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMiceli
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?

Prices get slashed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roy-Donk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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What kind of birds only appear on Friday the 13th?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VoicelessSock
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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Have you noticed that after every Friday the 13th

Comes a Saturday the 14th?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleL94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Every Friday I get a feeling my wife is up to no good.

Something smells fishy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?

A sweet deal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Who had the hottest Black Friday deals this year?

Kohl’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Where does Friday come before Thursday?

In a dictionary

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irishayes86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said how flexible are you? I said I can’t do Fridays.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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The actor that played Luke on the Disney channel original TV show β€œJessie” died the day after Friday

So Saturday’s really are for the Boyce

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohmy_cod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I think everyone should be a little more understanding this Friday.

After all, all conversations will end on a 10-4.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twinsaber123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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Friday, is that mine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abizer2
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Happy Friday
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTWGaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Oh.... those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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I thought Friday is a sad day.

Turns out tomorrow is sadder day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
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Good Friday is a sad day

And tomorrow is a Saturday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warmLuke0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Friday the 13th may be scary.

But may, May Fri 10 you more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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Hope everyone had a GOOD Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perpetualconflict
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

Ah. Those were the days....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
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"So you currently work 9 to 5, Monday through Friday," said my boss.

"That is correct," I replied.

He said, "Would you be able to work outside those hours?"

I said, "No, I might catch a cold."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Have a Good Friday!

Finger guns

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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Bf is on leave Friday from the navy, need navy sex pun!

TL;DR need sex pun related to the navy!

Hey everyone! My boyfriend is coming back on leave from the navy this Friday. I am making a sign to welcome him home. I need a sex pun related to the navy. One's like "put your ship in my harbor". Thanks in advance!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeHappy402
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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A cowboy rides into town on Friday. Stays three days and leaves on Friday. How did he do it?

The horse’s name is Friday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blake4Bama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year.

It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenclaw_VIII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Make sure to visit the tire store on black Friday.

They always have a blowout!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasualMobileUser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Today is a Good Friday

But Jesus will comeback Sunday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IUserThisName
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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I heard a rumor that you lift weights only on Saturday and Sunday because Monday to Friday are weak days.
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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Why see a seamstresses or tailor on Friday the 13th?

They know a lot about superstitchins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRH7660
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do neanderthals do on Friday night?

Go clubbin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gusterman49
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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With today being Friday the 13th, I just wanted to let you know that I don't believe in superstitions.

I'm an Aquarius, and that's not in our trait profile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J_for_Jules
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do Italians eat on Friday the 13th?

Fettuccine Afraido

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGomeeez
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the killer from Friday the 13th so effective at his job?

He always has his Jason.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiripeiju
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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I got a haircut on Friday.

At first I didn't like my new hair, but it's growing on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/averagejoegreen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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My wife was worried that the fish she bought on Friday weren't swimming together on Saturday

I told her not to worry. Saturday's not a school day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACMEanvils
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Today's Good Friday

Make sure to fry everything well!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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My eight year old asked me - papa do you know why I like Fridays?

Me: Is it because you can look forward to the weekend? My kid: No, it is because I like all things fried...

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2015
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Hey all! I'm getting married in September and a part of our Friday night dinner theme are dad jokes. Hit me with your best ones, please!

Like the title says. We're having a large backyard style dinner on the Friday night before our wedding, it's called "Dinner, Drinks, and Dad Jokes". So...we need lots of dad jokes to tell all of our guests. If you would be so kind, hit me with some of your favorite dad jokes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jplopinyourpants
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
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If you camp out for Black Friday deals on jeans...

...you're up all night to get Lucky.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanGecko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2014
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Are you having a good Friday?

Better than Jesus had.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaferserene
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2016
🚨︎ report
Today, I saw a kid with a shirt on that said "Friday"

He's ahead of his time.

Today is still Thursday in PST.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2017
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My Friday nights...

Want to know why I spend all my Friday nights at the library?

...It's lit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epitomeofcait
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
🚨︎ report
know why Humpty Dumpty don't do Black Friday?

He broke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
For some reason black Friday continues for the rest of the week, i guess that makes today

Black Sabbath

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilhomers
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2016
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What do you call a brand new show airing Fridays on Fox?

Canceled. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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The other day, my friend said, "I would have gone to the party, but it was Good Friday."

I responded, "You could have made it a great Friday if you went to the party."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex878
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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My Husband Got Me Friday Night...

He's Canadian and I'm from the Southwestern states (Arizona) and he had never had a corn tortilla street taco, so I made pork carnitas on Friday night. He loved them and then he said to me, "That was a maize balls!" Took me a minute to get it but then I rolled my eyes at him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iced_TeaFTW
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2015
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My grandfather's funeral was at 8am last Friday.

I woke up rather late, so I rushed out of the house, and forgot my watch and phone.

When I got to the cemetery, I saw my cousin standing in the back of the small crowd, as the priest was saying a prayer.

I walked over to him and whispered, "Am I late? What time is it?"

"Shh!" He said. "It's mourning time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditurded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
🚨︎ report
Bad Dad Joke Friday Winner

A vulture was boarding a plane with a racoon in each hand. The flight attendant said, "I'm sorry, sir. Only one carion is allowed per passenger. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/krissyfer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
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I'm going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on black friday

It's going to be grand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nutellism
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great!

There were so many great shales!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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Prison guard dad brought this gem home Friday.

What would you call it if prisoners took their own mug-shots?

Cellfies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/eatshitgriz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
🚨︎ report
My mom dadjoked me when I was telling my sister about the laptop I got on a Black Friday Deal.

sister: What kind of laptop is it?
me: Its a Dell
Mom: I thought Adele was a singer?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ratonhnhaketon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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I've been sick for several days. A friend said she was entering a marathon. I replied, "My nose should do one with you. It's been running since Friday"
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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Not even black friday is safe imgur.com/9GG61TM
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slash_laser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked my class Friday

I'm a student teacher at a middle school and I was teaching a track & field unit (important detail) when I dadjoked my kids who are obsessed with figuring out my race/ethnicity.

  • Students, "Mr. tman916x what's your race?"

  • Me, "Well in high school I ran the 4x400, 800, and sometimes 1600 but I'm more of a High Jump guy to be honest."

I've never seen a smile fade so fast from so many faces.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tman916x
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Worked retail on black friday and a dad came in.

Employee: "The whole store is 30% off."

Dad: "Oh jeez, I don't think I can afford that much"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talking_Monkey93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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Went black friday shopping with my dad

"$200 for Beats by Dr. Dre? I can just go to the supermarket and get them for $2 per pound!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/viiiirus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
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Was looking through the Black Friday coupon books...

My sister's boyfriend came across a Sketchers ad when he said 'It's a little messed up that Kim Kardashian got famous from being in a sex tape and now she's selling Sketchers to little girls'. And my father says 'Yeah that's pretty sketchy'. Brilliant.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curly_Q
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
🚨︎ report
Got dad joked at work Friday night (x-post from r/tales from your server)

Had a table consisting of a mom, dad and a little boy. Dad is reading the beer list (which is all local stuff, including a Bridgeport I.P.A) and he says "oh, you have the Canadian Bridgeport, I'll have that." To which I reply "um, the Bridgeport is an american beer sir."

"No, it's an I.P., eh."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RangerSkip
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2014
🚨︎ report
My grandpa on Black Friday

Him: "Today's Black Friday right?"

Me: "Yep"

Him: "Then why's it so bright out?"

I know where my dad gets his humor.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Those were the days...

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Auralore
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I hope everyone here has a good Friday!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bleeding-paryl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
🚨︎ report
What’s Captain Picard’s first instruction to his employees, in anticipation of the Friday evening crowds at a Mexican restaurant that he supervises?

β€œMake queso, number one.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SabinCrusades
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Today was a Good Friday
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemonici
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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