Early morning work groans are the best groans

A little too proud of this one...

So I’m on my usual Tuesday morning conference call with a bunch of vendors, coworkers, bosses, etc...

With his dog barking in the background one of my bosses chimes in and says “Just so you all know, I’m on the call but I’m outside right now having my roof looked at so I might be a little distracted”.

I couldn’t resist... With the instincts of a wild puma plotting against it’s poor defenseless prey, I pounce...

“Is your dog lookin at it?

Cuz he keeps saying ROOF!!! ROOF ROOF!!!”

I was immediately rewarded with a spectacular cacophony of groans and “that was awful”’s... It was glorious. I’m pretty sure I’ll get another promotion for it.

EDIT: So... no promotion... but in a pure, hilarious coincidence, I actually DID just get the news that I'm finally getting that raise they promised me at my last review. Too fuckin funny.

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📅︎ Apr 10 2018
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Dad pulled a double dad joke yesterday

Mom walks in

Mom: I have to go to Tuesday Morning to get a new shower curtain.

Dad: But it's Wednesday afternoon? Do you have a time machine?!

Mom: haha you're funny.

Dad: I'm not funny, I'm dad!

....

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📅︎ Dec 05 2013
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She's too mature for that kind of joke. [True story]

On Tuesday I asked my daughter a silly question. She looked at me funny and I asked, "What? Were you born yesterday?" Baby girl was born Monday. I wore that prideful grin while my wife groaned. But now... my sweet baby's outgrown the joke :(

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👤︎ u/timeshaper
📅︎ Sep 07 2016
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