La palabra mas larga
Drove past the llama ranch that's just outside our town, and I asked 'Are the llamas out?' 'No, no llamas.' responded my brother.
Dad chimes in with 'What? No llamas? How do they know what to call them?'
((like Como se llama))
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
"Hola milk, soy es tu padre!"
"As old as me." she replied.
He laughed and asked, "How can that be?!"
She said, "Well, he didn't become a father until I was born."
I didn't make the joke in english but it translates well.
We just had lunch and my mom was clearing out the table and putting stuff in the dishwasher while my brothers and my dad were talking about the party we were going to that afternoon. My mom and dad would go there by bike and my brothers and I would take the car.
Then my mom said: "should I turn on the dishwasher so everything will be clean when we'll return?"
On which I commented: "That's not fair, we go by car, and you by bike, while the dishwasher has to run?"
My 2 year old little girl was sitting at the kitchen table eating her dinner. It was me and my wife and her, just chilling. So, she drops her napkin on the floor and I pick it up and hand it to her, to which she says thank you daddy. So, I ask her if she can say thank you in spanish.
"Thank you daddy, in spanish"
I almost choked on my meal I laughed so hard, and my wife groaned. I have never been prouder.
important, my family speaks Spanish
After my school's Christmas concert, I went out to eat with my family. They were asking me about some people who were announced for having made it into the All-State Band and Orchestra, one of which was a string bass player (contrabajo in Spanish).
I told them: "Si... Ella toca contrabajo. (Yes... She plays string bass.)"
And my dad replies: "¿Pues si toca con trabajo, porque la aceptaron? (Well if she plays with difficulty, why did they accept her?)"
TL;DR: Contrabajo = string bass, con trabajo = with difficulty
So let's say I'm looking for my keys. Where are they, I don't know, I can't find them. So I say to my wife (we're both non-hispanic white people from Arizona with constant Spanish immersion enough to pick some up some of the language):
Donde estan mis llaves? (Where are my keys?) Aqui! Aqui! (Here! Here!)
The dadjoke part of this is that Aqui sounds like 'A Key'.
Gets a groan every time!
This was quite a while ago, I was probably in middle school (currently 26). My family took a quick day trip to Universal Studios Hollywood since we live in the greater LA area. Now to set the scene, my dad is a native of Mexico but has lived here since his late teens so his English is pretty good with a tinge of an accent since Spanish is his primary language. We park in the parking garage on property and we do the usual "make a mental note of where we parked for later". That's when I see a smirk come across his face as he turns to me laughing under his breath.
-"What's so funny?"
-"Notice where we parked?"
-"Yeah. Jurassic Park lot, 3B"
-"Jurassic Park..." half expecting me to laugh. He continues "Jurassic Park... Jurr-Ass-is-Parked"
As terrible as it was at the time, I've tried to pull this joke out with friends years later, eye rolls and crickets. Thanks dad.
Teacher: you're all looking at me like I'm speaking Spanish or something
Me: nah, just teaching us sine language.
(Collective groan from class)
It's funnier because I'm the weird kid learning sign language for fun.
bit of context...In the Spanish language when you want somebody to tell you something you say "Dime" (sounds like Dee-Mehh) also the word "Di"(sounds like Dee) means say...
Dad (in Spanish): I have something important to tell you but I don't know if I should
(cue Spanish groans)
So my brother and I have this app called duolingo. Its an app for learning different languages. Im learning spanish and hes learning french.
So one fine day, this is our conversation...
Me: Oh man, I gotta practice my spanish!
Him: Oh yea, I gotta practice my french too.
Me: Just watch your profanity.
He took a second to laugh but eventually got it.