Been wed since 1970β¦
Just bought our second bottle of Worcester sauce.
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︎ Jun 04 2021
Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun- its Greg Tues, Thurs, Sat- its Ian
It's the GregorIan Calendar.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Meeting on wed is pretty common
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︎ Sep 23 2016
A newly wed gave away his complete set of encyclopedia Britannica.
He says his new bride knows everything...
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︎ Nov 19 2018
I think my newly wed co-worker is practicing for the future.
(Me and co-worker discussing him moving into my apartment complex this weekend)
Me: Well are you sure you can mount a TV on it? One of the largest walls in my living room is poured in place concrete. Can't hang anything on it.
Him: Yea i checked its a stud wall. I just need to go out and get a stud finder.
Me: Just come over and borrow mine if you'd like.
Him: Actually I should probably just use [my wife], she's pretty good at finding studs.
queue: groans from myself and all surrounding co-workers
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︎ Jan 31 2015
Last name wedding pun?!
The male's last name is flowers. What's a cute pun to use with his last name for the wedding? It'll be the hashtag :)
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︎ Mar 09 2017
Request: Wedding Puns
Hello fellow pun connoisseurs,
Friends of mine just recently had a bit of a shotgun wedding. I'm vowing to prepare a statement for them in celebration The bride is particularly fond of puns. While I've been grooming myself for this for some time, any matrimonial/wedding puns that I might consider would be much appreciated. It would be the best, man!
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︎ Jun 29 2013
Looking for space puns!
My fiance and I are getting married at Kennedy Space Center. We're looking for a good space + love/wedding pun for our website. Written in the Stars is too cheesy. We're leaning toward "One Giant Leap". Any other suggestions?
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︎ Sep 15 2019
it was an emotional wedding...
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︎ Apr 26 2021
My fiance's father has forbidden our fruit themed wedding in Vegas...
Looks like we cantaloupe.
Edit: I'm sorry all. I know this is an especially low hanging fruit. Hell, it's practically on the ground.
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︎ Jun 03 2021
Weddings are so emotional-
even the cake is in tiers.
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︎ May 28 2021
Request: going into business as a wedding celebrant, looking for business name suggestions that are punny and memorable
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︎ May 07 2021
I recently went to a wedding that was so sad.
Even the cake was in tiers
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︎ Jun 07 2021
Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding?
Because time was relative
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︎ May 10 2021
My wife and I received nothing from our wedding guests but colanders. There musta been 500 of the damned thing.
It really put a strain on our marriage.
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︎ May 04 2021
Why do melons always have big weddings?
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︎ May 18 2021
A young Indian couple was trying to have a quiet wedding, but their family refused and made them have a big wedding instead. What fruit did they serve at the event?
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︎ May 19 2021
My friend's dog ate her wedding ring...
Now there's a diamond in the ruff (rough)
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︎ May 04 2021
Just got back from a wedding, it was so emotional.
Even the cake was in tiers.
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︎ May 09 2021
At every family wedding my Aunt keeps on asking , " Are you next , are you next ? ""
So now at every family funeral I ask , " Are you next , are you next ? "
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︎ May 08 2021
How do you know youβre at a hipster wedding?
The best man stands up and makes an avocado toast!
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︎ May 08 2021
The wedding was so touching that
even the cake was in tiers.
Edit: Thank you so much guys! I never expected this to reach 10k upvotes! You guys truly made my day.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
Why did the melon have a church wedding?
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︎ May 06 2021
I got tickets for the next Super Bowl plus hotel and airfare, but it turns out my wedding is on the same day!
If you'd like to go instead, it's at St. Peter's Church on Main Street at 6:00 pm. Her name is Melanie and she'll be wearing all white.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
When I die, I want to be buried with my wedding ring on.
That'll let God know, that I've been through hell already.
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Did you hear about the wedding of the two antennas?
The ceremony was so-so...but the reception was epic!!
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︎ Apr 17 2021
I went to a wedding where the bride was left at the altar
It went off without a hitch
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︎ Mar 20 2021
What do you call a Russian wedding?
A Soviet Union.
(I got this idea from a meme)
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︎ Mar 30 2021
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldnβt open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
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︎ Jan 08 2021
What do you call it when someone drops their wedding ring in a dog pen?
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︎ Mar 15 2021
A pinguin decided to cancel his wedding last minute.
I guess he got cold feet.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I went to my best friend's wedding today. He is an awesome fisher. I like him a lot and always come with the finest catch.
But something is very fishy with his new betrouthed.
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Last night I had a nightmare about wedding cakes....
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︎ Feb 22 2021
I went to a wedding yesterday where two tv antennas got married
The wedding was horrible but the reception was great
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︎ Jan 10 2021
What did the wedding cake say while it was cutting an onion?
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What fruit is not allowed in any Las Vegas Wedding Chapels?
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︎ Jan 02 2021
NEED A WEDDING HASHTAG
My friend Jenn is getting married to her fiancΓ©, Luc. Her last name is Yahiro, but she is taking his last name Freyer (pronounced fry-err). Any ideas??
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Iβm at wedding and Iβm very thirsty so I am walking all around the whole ballroom looking for something to drink.
I canβt find the punchline.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....
He would be the Pastor of Muppets
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︎ Oct 09 2020
What gift did the snakes get from their wedding registry?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much
But the reception was incredible.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Why do melons have weddings?
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Why do melons have weddings?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
I went to a wedding that was so moving everyone was crying.
Even the cake was in tiers.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
My daughter's wedding was very emotional for everyone.
Even the cake was in tiers.
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︎ Aug 28 2020
Did you hear why melons have big elaborate weddings?
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldnβt open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
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