Someone broke into my garage last night, stole my tools and stuff, but I can't believe they took my limbo stick too.
Seriously..how low can you go ?
There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...
I thought it was a little far fetched.
What do you call crows that stick close together?
What sticks to everything, is full of nuts and leaves brown stains on your shorts?
I don't understand why people switch between liquid glue and glue sticks.
I say, just choose one and stick with it.
I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.
Until I fell in a printing press.
During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.
I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"
He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"
My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me
I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...
I guess the rules don't apply to me.
Did you hear they are not making yard sticks any longer?
They’re not making them any shorter either.
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".
My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.
He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"
I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?
'Ba dum tss'
He just sighs. "I hate you."
Just lit my grill and I held a flaming stick in front of my sons face...
Son: STOP! It’s never funny to joke around with fire!
Me: (looks at the fire) Why did the chicken cross the road?
The wife and I were crying laughing while the son went inside and locked us out of the house. 😂😂😂
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.
They said they wanted to see butterflies!
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'
Until I fell into a printing press.
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.
They had to wait for the he spring.
I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.
I'm a part of the WANDaVision.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What sticks up when you turn it on?
I'll stick to my ribs
A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.
"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.
Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"
WD40 could be called "Lubrican", but the name won't stick.
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
Just heard some pretty sad news about yard sticks
Did you know they aren't making yard sticks any longer?
don't stick your finger in crazy
A man was killed with only a stick of deodorant
It was the first Degree murder
Why did the little walnut stick money to his feet?
Because he really wanted to be a cash-shoe.
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
Chicken on a stick is called chicken skewers. Pork on a stick is a pork skewers. What do you call a horse on a stick?
My dog has been chewing on sticks when let her outside.
Now she barks out of both ends.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet
He was looking for Pooh
Old I know...
Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?
Because it's all bark and no byte.
What’s the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?
You can’t tuna fish!
“What about the glue?”
I knew you’d get stuck on that!
I'm never using stick deodorant again...
The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"
I can hardly walk.
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
I've got a great offer on Pritt Stick for celiacs...
Buy nine glues, get gluten free...
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!
Like, seriously. How low can you go?
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.
Like seriously, how low can you go ?
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick
She still isn't talking to me
What do you call birds that stick together?
Last week, someone went into my garage and stole my limbo stick
Like seriously, how low can you go?
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.
She still isn't talking to me
Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.
Seriously now, how low can you go?
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick this morning.
She's still not speaking to me.
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!
How could they go so low?
What do you call birds that stick together?
So I heard they are not making yard sticks any longer.
Just 3 feet and no longer.
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