Someone broke into my garage last night, stole my tools and stuff, but I can't believe they took my limbo stick too.

Seriously..how low can you go ?

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a story in the paper today about a dog that ran 3 miles just to find a stick...

I thought it was a little far fetched.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsTrickyPig
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call crows that stick close together?

Velcrows

πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timbillyosu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What sticks to everything, is full of nuts and leaves brown stains on your shorts?

Peanut butter

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why people switch between liquid glue and glue sticks.

I say, just choose one and stick with it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to think that only sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.

Until I fell in a printing press.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
During the Olympics, I met a European man holding 2 large sticks.

I asked him "Are you by any chance a pole- vaulter?"

He looked surprised "Nein, I'm German, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djar399
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I tried gluing my company's HR policies to myself, but they wouldn't stick...

I guess the rules don't apply to me.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear they are not making yard sticks any longer?

They’re not making them any shorter either.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neo-1000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother sees me near our tent, putting his E-reader on a pile of sticks.

He yells: "What the hell are you doing, Some_Dumb_Dude?!"

I say: "What's with the tone? You have to use Kindle to make a fire, Right?

'Ba dum tss'

He just sighs. "I hate you."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Some_Dumb_Dude_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Just lit my grill and I held a flaming stick in front of my sons face...

Son: STOP! It’s never funny to joke around with fire!

Me: (looks at the fire) Why did the chicken cross the road?

The wife and I were crying laughing while the son went inside and locked us out of the house. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/planetmerc5500
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Caught my kids throwing sticks of butter up in the air in our backyard.

They said they wanted to see butterflies!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I always believed that 'sticks and stones would break my bones, but words would never hurt me.'

Until I fell into a printing press.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
They rescheduled the quarterly pogo stick competition.

They had to wait for the he spring.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I work for the Marvel Comics Fairy Agency making magic sticks.

I'm a part of the WANDaVision.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."

"Then you’ll have a match."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What sticks up when you turn it on?

A light switch

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjphillips612
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dazmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
WD40 could be called "Lubrican", but the name won't stick.
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gpsq
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
πŸ‘︎ 507
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coorotaku
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Just heard some pretty sad news about yard sticks

Did you know they aren't making yard sticks any longer?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
don't stick your finger in crazy
πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/floofysox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was killed with only a stick of deodorant

It was the first Degree murder

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchOnTheMic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the little walnut stick money to his feet?

Because he really wanted to be a cash-shoe.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?

They forgot the punchline

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Chicken on a stick is called chicken skewers. Pork on a stick is a pork skewers. What do you call a horse on a stick?

Carousel

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drumsXgaming
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog has been chewing on sticks when let her outside.

Now she barks out of both ends.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loddytoddy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet

He was looking for Pooh

Old I know...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mlrous
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a wooden USB stick worthless?

Because it's all bark and no byte.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GameOnTheWay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fish, a piano, and a stick of glue?

You can’t tuna fish!

β€œWhat about the glue?”

I knew you’d get stuck on that!

πŸ‘︎ 146
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbirdyy55
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm never using stick deodorant again...

The instructions said " remove cap and push up bottom"

I can hardly walk.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Richo_HATS2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?

They needed a new branch manager.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MarioMakerProcess
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got a great offer on Pritt Stick for celiacs...

Buy nine glues, get gluten free...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!

Like, seriously. How low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe someone stole my limbo stick.

Like seriously, how low can you go ?

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BogdanAnime
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally gave her a glue stick

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘︎ 724
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call birds that stick together?

Velcrows!

πŸ‘︎ 108
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RudigherJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Last week, someone went into my garage and stole my limbo stick

Like seriously, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DevilRyder
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I accidentally gave my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick.

She still isn't talking to me

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Ugh. My garage was broken into and someone stole my Limbo Stick.

Seriously now, how low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 212
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of chap stick this morning.

She's still not speaking to me.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_naduvilath
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my garage last night and stole my limbo stick!

How could they go so low?

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call birds that stick together?

Vel-Crows

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reefer_rat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
So I heard they are not making yard sticks any longer.

Just 3 feet and no longer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.