What sticks up when you turn it on?
The second meme I've ever made. Not sure if I should stick with it.
I once tied my dog’s stick to a balloon, he brought it back from several miles away...
I know, it sounds a bit far-fetched.
I was teaching my 12 year old daughter how to mow the lawn. “You need to pick either up and down or right and left, and then stick to it,” I told her. “Do you mow the whole yard in one direction.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because that’s what makes it beautiful.”
Oh, the eye roll on this kid.
A friend of mine claims he can throw a stick 5 miles and his pet dog will retrieve it.
I think that's a bit far fetched.
Anybody else find it hard to resist saying “fish dicks” when cooking your kids fish sticks?
My friend Robert was going on and on about how great it is to cook food on a stick.
So I just said, “K, Bob.”
Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.
That’s my signature move.
You ever notice how George Washington only got a big stick, and everyone else got huge memorials? I guess that's why they call it the Washington Post.
Boss: "what's that?", Me: (with much enthusiasm) "it's a SPACE BAR!!!!!" *wets myself laughing*, Boss: "...................." *delivers withering look* "are you allowed to stick things on your laptop?", Me: *dies inside at another badly landed pun*
My wife thinks it's really funny to stick first class stamps to my back. I've asked her when she's going to stop.
She says she'll keep me posted
I don't get it, Catholic Woman-Sticks Held Together by Chain?
A cannibal was walking through the jungle when he came to a clearing and saw a freshly killed elephant lying down with a pygmy standing on top of it, brandishing a big stick and doing a victory dance.
"Have you just killed that elephant?" asked the cannibal.
"Yes," replied the pygmy, "I did it with my club."
"Wow," replied the cannibal. "You must have a really big club!"
"Yes, there are about forty of us!"
What do you call it when you dip two celery sticks in ranch at the same time?
It’s a glue stick. Get it?
I saw a stick with a lot of soda laying around it
That was a fantastick sight to see
When buying cookware always double check it's non-stick
I just did a magic trick where I made a stick of butter disappear. It wasn’t very good...
But it was butter then nothing.
I found this small stick with one end coated with a material that can be ignited by frictional heat. It made me feel loved, wholesome and beautiful.
Like a match made in heaven.
My buddy said he threw a stick five miles and his dog managed to find it and bring it back...
I heard the story about the dog who traveled 5 miles to fetch a stick, but I didn't believe it because it was...
My girlfriend said my Australian throwing stick wouldn't come back no matter how I threw it.
It flew back after a few seconds. Turns out she was boome-wrong.
Why is it so hard to solve an arson at a stick factory
All the evidence matches.
How bad is it if your male cow eats a stick of dynamite?
I had a patient that said she tried doing an arm exercise with a yard stick but it hurt.
I said, "Well, I guess that one is overruled."
I thought my stick was made of bamboo, but it is actually just normal wood.
Person one: "Don't put the pots and pans in the dishwasher, it wrecks the anti-stick stuff. That's how I ruined that big pan."
Person two: "I guess you could say the anti-stick went out of the frying pan, into the water."
It's funny my old 20 megabyte USB stick is called a "mass storage device".
You'd think it would be a data storage device.
Last week in Warsaw the government asked its people how they felt about an expedition to stick large metal rods in the northern and southern ends of the globe.
it was the Poll of Poles on the pole poles.
My dad yesterday. I figured it was best represented by an enthusiastic stick figure.
imgur.com/jOB7HeK
It's not a stick, it's a truck!
(My boss is a goony father of two sons. I was supposed to drive his truck somewhere, and I don't know how to drive manual.)
Me: Oh no, is it a stick?
Boss: It's not a stick, it's a truck!
But yes, it was a manual transmission...
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