Soccer Player Puns

A list of puns related to "Soccer Player"

A player asked why I shut down the soccer game suddenly when his mother started cussing and yelling...

I replied, "ask your mom. The reason is a parent."

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Jul 21 2020
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How does a soccer player insult someone?

"You son of a pitch"

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👤︎ u/Free_Forever876
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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Who is the most unclean soccer player?

Messi.

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👤︎ u/LostTesticle
📅︎ Dec 22 2019
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Just started dating a soccer player.

I think he's a keeper.

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👤︎ u/Jinx_Jonx
📅︎ Dec 06 2019
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Can anyone help me come up with soccer player/Halloween puns

Any help will be much appreciated! Some examples for what I need are..

Count Ronaldo, Lionel Mummy, and Frankeneymar

These are kinda week lol give me some of your best ones!

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👤︎ u/jonathantj12
📅︎ Oct 02 2019
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Know what my kids' bedroom and soccer player Lionel have in common?

They're both Messi.

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👤︎ u/CAdamH
📅︎ Oct 24 2019
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Why do soccer players hate shallow pools?

Because there is no diving.

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👤︎ u/snypershot
📅︎ Aug 21 2019
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My Daughter is dating a soccer player

She says he's a goalie. I told her he's a keeper

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👤︎ u/eleece
📅︎ Feb 15 2019
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How did the Jewish soccer player get hurt?

He Torah ligament!! Courtesy of my 13 year old son who is soon having bar mitzvah. I love that my kids now make their own dad jokes.

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👤︎ u/lessworkiskey
📅︎ May 31 2018
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soccer players drink tea?

What tea do soccer players drink? Penaltea

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👤︎ u/euwrank3262
📅︎ Dec 13 2018
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Did you hear about the soccer player that was implicated in the Panama Papers?

Apparently it was a Messi business.

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👤︎ u/ianodon
📅︎ Apr 18 2016
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who is the storm of soccer player

Harry Kane (((maybe it's not original but I love this

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👤︎ u/joseph_yau
📅︎ Jun 27 2018
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What do you call a sloppy soccer player?

Messi

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👤︎ u/AgentNameless
📅︎ Jul 10 2018
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Why are soccer players so smart

Because they use their heads

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👤︎ u/MweeisMe
📅︎ Jun 17 2018
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I was at a soccer game, when a fan jumped onto the field dressed as a player. He was chased off.

Now here’s the real kicker.

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👤︎ u/JaywalkingCat
📅︎ Mar 01 2018
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Rich soccer players

Who is the richest soccer player?

Cristiano Rollindough

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👤︎ u/DvorakWarrior
📅︎ Mar 16 2018
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My kids asked me if the only reason I married their mommy was because she's such a great soccer player…

I replied, "Well, there's that and the fact that she's a keeper!"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jul 13 2017
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What does Drogba, the soccer player say after figuring out a clever joke?

I see what you didier..

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👤︎ u/that_introverted_guy
📅︎ Oct 03 2014
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Me and my dad were talking about the Italian soccer player who got bit.

'Hey you know the Italian player wasnt a starter right? So the Uruguay player just took a bite of an Italian sub.' ... oh dad

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👤︎ u/BIGGMAN44
📅︎ Jun 26 2014
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Did you hear about the soccer player that got injured?

He was a real bawler.

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👤︎ u/granteverett
📅︎ Oct 27 2014
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