Saying Tom Brady is the greatest football player in history isnβt just a hyperbole...
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︎ Feb 07 2021
A football player steals houses...
He took all of Patrick's Mahomes.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
A football player goes to the doctor and says "It hurts whenever I touch my face, knee and elbow." The doctor says,
"You've broken your hand."
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Who is the world's best, but un-tidiest, football player?
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
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︎ May 05 2020
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
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︎ Nov 24 2019
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
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︎ Sep 18 2019
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
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︎ Aug 12 2019
A football player went fishing the other day
But he forgot to bring his tackle
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︎ Aug 01 2019
Last night, my husband dreamt I cheated on him with a professional football player & several Frenchmen.
He walked by me as I was scrolling through reddit and said βIβd better not see any Frenchmen Oui Oui on your screen.β
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︎ Mar 29 2019
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
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︎ Oct 11 2018
Why did the football player go to the bank?
He wanted his quarter back
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︎ Oct 10 2018
My buddy said he will be known as a great football player or die trying.
I told him he had better start planning the funeral because we live in Minnesota: the best you can ever hope for is, "Not Bad".
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︎ Feb 16 2019
What's a football player's favorite pizza place?
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︎ Nov 24 2018
Why can't football players where glasses on the field?
Because it's a contact sport
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︎ Apr 14 2018
I had an argument with a German football player in a pub. I was about to insult him on a touchy matter, but i restrained myself.....
As i walked back home, i realised that was a Klose call. It would have been at all time LΓΆw for me if I hadn't restrained myself.
Edit: Americans will have this to translate to American
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︎ Oct 09 2018
You shouldn't get upset at new football players for making mistakes.
That's just the way the rookie fumbles.
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︎ Mar 27 2017
A football player told me to get off his turf
I was confused becuase I couldβve sworn I was on grass
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︎ Jul 06 2018
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
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︎ Mar 30 2018
Who is the funniest football player on the team?
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︎ Apr 14 2018
The football player argued that it was a horse-collar tackle
The ref said βneighβ
(My Dad just told this joke while watching the Ravens game. The other dads in the room laughed.)
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︎ Nov 19 2017
Did you hear about the football player who lost his entire left side of his body?
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︎ Jan 11 2017
Crazy news; four pro football players arrested in Pittsburgh today
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︎ May 19 2017
Dad sees a football player.
We went out to eat and a little kid was wandering around the restaurant in a Packers #12 jersey. Dad says "Hey look it's Aaron Rodgers, I thought he'd be taller. Oh yeah that's right, he has to be that short to fit on TV."
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︎ Dec 07 2013
Why did the football player go to the bank
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︎ May 22 2018
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