Best Golf Pun contest has started

Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........

Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php

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πŸ‘€︎ u/golfpuns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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Time for Golf Puns!

But whatever fore?

A little birdie told me golf puns are a great way to make friends, so I thought I might as well join the club. I had to wedge myself into a car to get there, and boy did I realize the irony of doing so when I met the driver! He handed me a bunch of donuts, and I was so happy, there was a hole in one! When I got to the club, the driver kept telling me he had to put the car into par for it to stop moving! So I got of of the car and walked through the door only to realize that my driver had ditched me. Talk about rough right?

Anyway, thats all the golf puns I have for now, say for this last one.
Tee-hee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s0apyjam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Golf puns

My wife: Don't forget tomorrow we're going to the driving range.

Me: I'm sure it'll be a ball.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/workgorilla96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
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My dad's amazing golf pun

My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:

  1. Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.

  2. Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)

My dad then cracks this one:

"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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Name my webapp: Golf + code = ?

My team is looking for a name for our coding golf web app. The idea is to solve a problem in as few characters of code as possible and we need a code-golf pun for the brand name. We will credit the user if we choose their pun, of course.

Happy punning!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonkilA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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Why do fighter pilots hate playing golf?

They keep hitting bogeys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WW2historynut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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Why do old people constantly play golf?

So they can lower their amount of strokes

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
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I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...

DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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When is a cake like a golf ball?

When its sliced.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greedypaul
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)

Because he's got a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smusac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...

Wood ewe bee leaf It?

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?

The groundskeeper!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravendemyseri
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked β€œwhat happens if the ball lands in the house”

The dad said β€œit’s a home-in-one”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaiah2rod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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My daughter keeps putting my golf visors on all of her stuffed animals

She told me they call her the queen advisor

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I played golf and it was boring.

Well that's just par for the course.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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People often ask me how I can play golf so much and still be so bad at it

It takes a lot of balls.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...

But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackoMabreda
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My friend tried opening up a driving range to compete with Top Golf.

Not sure if he pulled it off but I know it took a lot of balls to do it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greg_zielinski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses

But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/katskratched
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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What does life and golf and in common?

The less strokes you have, the better.

Edit* β€œWhat does life and golf have in common” not β€œ...and in common”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimReaperSr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Why did President Trump lose the golf tournament?

All his mini strokes put him above par.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saintpetejackboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees

I guess you could say he couldn’t see the faux wrist for the tees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAMWrite1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I've been trying to start playing golf

But I just can't get into the swing of things

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mopkt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said β€œthat gave me a heart attack!”

I told him β€œactually that was a stroke”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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I hear Trump has decided to give up golf...

He spent too much time in the bunker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdryan1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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On the golf course I'm known as Frito Lay...

Because my chips are so good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My PE teacher told me I was so bad at golf that I should go to golf jail

It would be a shame if they putt me in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibean2d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.

Just dont put it your back pocket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squirrel_MD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...

It was a diamond in the rough.

Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Why do all golf players have 20:20 vision

Because its a non contact sport

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthew_______
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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I wear two pairs of pants when I play golf

Just in case I get a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ootz1986
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Where does the best average golfer put his golf cart?

The par-king space.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
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How did the citrus fruit do on the golf course?

He hit an orange slice!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I’ve recently started to learn how to play golf, It’s nor going to well though

I still have a fairway to go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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For years, my family has always taught me that alcohol and golf don't go well together.

That's why I don't drink and drive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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When golfers make golf jokes

Are they just meta-fores?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Why did the man leave his socks on the golf course?

He got a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heckyhoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini golf course at some of their restaurants?

I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeLouie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
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What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?

Join the club

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Bad at golf

Join the club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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