Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........
Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php
But whatever fore?
A little birdie told me golf puns are a great way to make friends, so I thought I might as well join the club. I had to wedge myself into a car to get there, and boy did I realize the irony of doing so when I met the driver! He handed me a bunch of donuts, and I was so happy, there was a hole in one! When I got to the club, the driver kept telling me he had to put the car into par for it to stop moving! So I got of of the car and walked through the door only to realize that my driver had ditched me. Talk about rough right?
Anyway, thats all the golf puns I have for now, say for this last one.
My wife: Don't forget tomorrow we're going to the driving range.
Me: I'm sure it'll be a ball.
My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:
Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.
Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)
My dad then cracks this one:
"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"
My team is looking for a name for our coding golf web app. The idea is to solve a problem in as few characters of code as possible and we need a code-golf pun for the brand name. We will credit the user if we choose their pun, of course.
The less strokes you have, the better.
Edit* “What does life and golf have in common” not “...and in common”
But I just can't get into the swing of things
... I found the work oft-putting.
I told him “actually that was a stroke”
Because my chips are so good.
He spent too much time in the bunker.
Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.
Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee
Get it just right?
Now that's a party.
It was a diamond in the rough.
Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020
Because its a non contact sport
It would be a shame if they putt me in there.
Just in case I get a hole in one
He hit an orange slice!
The par-king space.
Just dont put it your back pocket.
I still have a fairway to go
I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.
It was a par time job.
That's why I don't drink and drive.
Join the club
Are they just meta-fores?
He got a hole in one
Because everyone has a handicap
I just tell people I am subpar.
Just in case I get a hole in one
According to him, it’s in case he gets a hole in one.
It’s gonna be quite the par-tee.
Just in case he gets a hole in one.
Then it hit me.
one pulls out a cigarette and asks his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch bic lighter and hands it to him “wow where did you get such a large bic?” he asks, “oh this, my genie got it for me he’s in my golf bag” the friend says “you have a genie?! May I see him?”, “yes sure” the friend replies and opens his golf bag. Sure enough out pops a genie, the man says “I am your masters best friend may I have one wish?” “Sure” the genie replies “but only one”... “I’d like a million bucks” says the man excitedly, “done” says the genie and disappears back into the bag. Seconds later the sky begins to gets dark, despite it only being noon, the man looks up and sees nothing but ducks “what is going on, there must be a million ducks up there, I asked for a million bucks, what’s wrong with your genie?!” his friend turns to him with a wry smile and says “do you REALLY think I asked for a 12 inch inch bic”
...right in the FOREhead
...what is the best kind of rope to use?
He said “4!!”
After my first stroke it all went downhill
In case he gets a hole in one!
Apparently you go to jail for killing a protected species.
Unimpressive until you hit the links
It just doesn’t pay to be the Par King.
In their 80s with a slight handicap
Because every hole except one is under 18
I left them in the Par King lot.
...but I couldn't figure out how to make the ball hold on the tea without sinking.
...but they were all subpar
What a super visor.
He said “drive safe!” And I said “drive safe!”
I always asked dad why he bought an extra pair of socks when he played golf. Told me in case he got a hole in one. 😂
They always end up in the bunker.
In the Tiger Woods.
The collared greens
I go to great links to avoid them.
He liked to putter around.
RIP. Miss the old man.
I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.
He became teed off when he teed off into the trees...
They have recovered a set of stolen golf clubs and arrested one man. But they are still looking for the driver.
I have been told the correct course.
It was rough.
They can’t drive
Because he was horsing a-round.
I've been told I'm sub-par.
Out of the corner of his eye, through the trees, one gentleman sees a funeral procession passing just outside the course.
He removes his hat, holds it to his chest, bows his head and sheds a quick tear, before taking his shot.
The other gentleman comments that he never knew he was so emotional.
First gentleman replies, "well we were married for 30 years, it's the least I can do".
Now there is a hole in Juan.