Best Golf Pun contest has started

Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........

Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php

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πŸ‘€︎ u/golfpuns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Time for Golf Puns!

But whatever fore?

A little birdie told me golf puns are a great way to make friends, so I thought I might as well join the club. I had to wedge myself into a car to get there, and boy did I realize the irony of doing so when I met the driver! He handed me a bunch of donuts, and I was so happy, there was a hole in one! When I got to the club, the driver kept telling me he had to put the car into par for it to stop moving! So I got of of the car and walked through the door only to realize that my driver had ditched me. Talk about rough right?

Anyway, thats all the golf puns I have for now, say for this last one.
Tee-hee!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s0apyjam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Golf puns

My wife: Don't forget tomorrow we're going to the driving range.

Me: I'm sure it'll be a ball.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/workgorilla96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad's amazing golf pun

My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:

  1. Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.

  2. Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)

My dad then cracks this one:

"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
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Name my webapp: Golf + code = ?

My team is looking for a name for our coding golf web app. The idea is to solve a problem in as few characters of code as possible and we need a code-golf pun for the brand name. We will credit the user if we choose their pun, of course.

Happy punning!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonkilA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
🚨︎ report
What does life and golf and in common?

The less strokes you have, the better.

Edit* β€œWhat does life and golf have in common” not β€œ...and in common”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimReaperSr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to start playing golf

But I just can't get into the swing of things

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mopkt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...

... I found the work oft-putting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said β€œthat gave me a heart attack!”

I told him β€œactually that was a stroke”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
On the golf course I'm known as Frito Lay...

Because my chips are so good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14
🚨︎ report
I hear Trump has decided to give up golf...

He spent too much time in the bunker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdryan1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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Depending on your golf handicap you can move your tee forwards or backwards

Move it too far forward and it becomes a birdie tee.

Too far back and it becomes a bogey tee

Get it just right?

Now that's a party.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02
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My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...

It was a diamond in the rough.

Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
Why do all golf players have 20:20 vision

Because its a non contact sport

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matthew_______
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My PE teacher told me I was so bad at golf that I should go to golf jail

It would be a shame if they putt me in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ibean2d
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I wear two pairs of pants when I play golf

Just in case I get a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ootz1986
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
How did the citrus fruit do on the golf course?

He hit an orange slice!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Where does the best average golfer put his golf cart?

The par-king space.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.

Just dont put it your back pocket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squirrel_MD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently started to learn how to play golf, It’s nor going to well though

I still have a fairway to go

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Subway is opening a mini golf course at some of their restaurants?

I tried it out, but it wasn't very good.
It was sub-par.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeLouie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
My first job was telling golfers how much time a scratch player should take to complete a hole on the golf course...

It was a par time job.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf

Join the club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
For years, my family has always taught me that alcohol and golf don't go well together.

That's why I don't drink and drive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?

Join the club

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
When golfers make golf jokes

Are they just meta-fores?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boxymcboxbox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man leave his socks on the golf course?

He got a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heckyhoodles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
You know why there’s no reserved parking at golf clubs?

Because everyone has a handicap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SanguineL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t know why people are always confused when I tell them how good I am at golf.

I just tell people I am subpar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arunie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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I always take two pairs of trousers with me when I play golf.

Just in case I get a hole in one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always been super confused as to why my dad always brings an extra pair of socks to the golf course.

According to him, it’s in case he gets a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiplash1911
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do golf balls watch the news

The TEEvee

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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My local golf shop is selling all its stock to stay in business. The putters, the drivers and the irons are all gone, but they are not out of the woods yet.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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A golf buddy of mine is having a get together tonight.

It’s gonna be quite the par-tee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookydoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
These golf ads are really going all out these days.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingDracula100
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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TIL that Tiger Woods always brings an extra sock with him to his golf tournaments.

Just in case he gets a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinityglitches
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was wondering why the golf ball kept growing bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

Oof!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Two blokes are out on a golf course,

one pulls out a cigarette and asks his friend for a light. His friend pulls out a 12 inch bic lighter and hands it to him β€œwow where did you get such a large bic?” he asks, β€œoh this, my genie got it for me he’s in my golf bag” the friend says β€œyou have a genie?! May I see him?”, β€œyes sure” the friend replies and opens his golf bag. Sure enough out pops a genie, the man says β€œI am your masters best friend may I have one wish?” β€œSure” the genie replies β€œbut only one”... β€œI’d like a million bucks” says the man excitedly, β€œdone” says the genie and disappears back into the bag. Seconds later the sky begins to gets dark, despite it only being noon, the man looks up and sees nothing but ducks β€œwhat is going on, there must be a million ducks up there, I asked for a million bucks, what’s wrong with your genie?!” his friend turns to him with a wry smile and says β€œdo you REALLY think I asked for a 12 inch inch bic”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/74RileyW74
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur themed put-put golf course?

Jurassic Par

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNoodleEffect
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad got hit by a golf ball on the course today...

...right in the FOREhead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If I tie my golf partner on the back nine...

...what is the best kind of rope to use?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend how old he was when he started playing golf.

He said β€œ4!!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forcoen69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids won’t let me play mini-golf with them anymore

After my first stroke it all went downhill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants to the golf tournament?

In case he gets a hole in one!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megyamn
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I shot an Eagle at my local golf course today.

Apparently you go to jail for killing a protected species.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How is the internet like a new golf course?

Unimpressive until you hit the links

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnEBGoode20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My golf course gave me an award and sign for my own place to park, but people keep taking my spot.

It just doesn’t pay to be the Par King.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justjong
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingBongHogger420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I like my women like I like my golf scores

In their 80s with a slight handicap

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlieboydawg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do pedophiles love golf?

Because every hole except one is under 18

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Your_Dogs_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Mini-golf players have no drive.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D-World
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Hey have you seen my golf clubs

I left them in the Par King lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhYouMeanThatGuy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried playing golf once...

...but I couldn't figure out how to make the ball hold on the tea without sinking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warty998
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I was trying to come up with jokes about golf...

...but they were all subpar

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonzofish
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My boss came in wearing his golf hat.

What a super visor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdvantaJeous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Golf Clubs Favorite type of Music?

Swing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBubbles47_Real
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped my son off at the golf course the other day.

He said β€œdrive safe!” And I said β€œdrive safe!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jollyben
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad who plays golf.

I always asked dad why he bought an extra pair of socks when he played golf. Told me in case he got a hole in one. πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pch14
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?

They always end up in the bunker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Where is the most dangerous place to play golf?

In the Tiger Woods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oftenoffend
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What vegetables were allowed on the golf course?

The collared greens

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pjohnson95
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate crappy golf courses with too many trees.

I go to great links to avoid them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/entropolous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My father used to like to get to the golf course an hour early to use the practice green...

He liked to putter around.

RIP. Miss the old man.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
This golf joke is sub-par.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/magnoliong
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Golf is a fore letter word 4 a reason

It ain't easy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PGinn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the best golf club to take on a vacation?

A driver

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman announces to the golf pro she was stung by a bee. "Where?", asked the golf pro. "Between the first and second hole," she reports.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srtak23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently opened a combination sandwich shop/mini golf course.

I thought it was a great idea but the reviews said the experience was sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TVLord5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend with anger issues decided to take up golf to calm his nerves...

He became teed off when he teed off into the trees...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Police have busted the PGA tour golf club syndicate...

They have recovered a set of stolen golf clubs and arrested one man. But they are still looking for the driver.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I finally hired a copy editor for my jokes about golf

I have been told the correct course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I played golf with my friends the other day. It's just a shame I kept missing the fairway

It was rough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rhedkiex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do the Avengers shout when hitting a shot in golf?

Thor!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannedCroissant
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t children very good at golf?

They can’t drive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the polo player get kicked off the golf course?

Because he was horsing a-round.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajesticSunset7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm not sure if I'm good at golf or not...

I've been told I'm sub-par.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctor_hulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Two middle aged men playing golf.

Out of the corner of his eye, through the trees, one gentleman sees a funeral procession passing just outside the course.

He removes his hat, holds it to his chest, bows his head and sheds a quick tear, before taking his shot.

The other gentleman comments that he never knew he was so emotional.

First gentleman replies, "well we were married for 30 years, it's the least I can do".

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Today is international golf day

fore! fore! ...

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone shot my friend Juan with a golf ball gun

Now there is a hole in Juan.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cazman123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
🚨︎ report
What makes an intoxicating golf game? imgur.com/gallery/r6bQB
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Christophoro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf?

Join the club.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf?

Join the club.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf?

Join the club.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf?

Join the club.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Bad at golf?

Join the club!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConsciousDeer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report

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