I wanted to go rock-climbing on Saturday but my best friend hated the idea.

He made the whole day very anti- climb- atic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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i started taking lessons on rock climbing

Hopefully soon i get the hang of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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Rock climbing isn't for me

I just can't get the hang of it. Maybe if I was a little boulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronHusker88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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Do you know the worst part about books on rock climbing?

Too many cliffhangers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodieninja86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Rock-climbing is not for the timid. In fact, merely being a little brave is not enough.

You need to be boulder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Avatar_ZW
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Ice climbing is like rock climbing but cooler
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalen4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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What do you call a rock climbing pirate?

Pirates of the Carabiners.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jordddz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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I recently joined a climbing gym. I've hit rock bottom, but I can only go up from here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWinterShadow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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I have been rock climbing the last year or so as exercise.

I have to say, it's taken my body to new heights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worktempthrowaway
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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I really want to go rock climbing.

I heard it was the most natural way to get high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crabesmuybien
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
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I read a book about rock climbing

It was a real cliffhanger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8Fractals
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2015
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Went rock climbing this weekend...

I asked the kids: Which one is braver, the big rock or the mountain?

The big rock: It's a little boulder.

The kids walked away. Sigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd_of_gods
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Got my GF while driving home from rock climbing

We were driving by a farm (shocker, I live in a rural area) and this exchanged happened.

Her: Awe that horse is starring at the group of horses in the other field. They must want a horse friend.

Me: Why? They'd just horse around all day.

Her: ..... ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hooks_And_Needles
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2016
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My SO's terrified of heights and we were rock climbing...

I told her, "I got you honey, I won't let you down".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeggieLomein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2015
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My mom hit me with this dadjoke after I went rock climbing

I posted this to facebook:
>Oh god I can't move. Satisfying day at the rock gym.

My mom replied to the post with this:
> I'm sure there are climbing wall in other cities too.

I laughed my butt off and showed it to my boyfriend. He sadly didn't get it and I had to explain it to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oowth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2015
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Jake wanted to rock climb but quit when learning how to descend with ropes

He found the idea rappel-ent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamblingScholar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skormes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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Accidental Jesus dad joke

I recently tore all the ligaments in my ankle and I’m still in rehab. I was on the sidewalk concentrating on my crutches when a construction worker popped up in front of me. Initially I thought he was going to tell me I was walking under something dangerous; halfway through I thought he was going to ask me out; then Jesus happened:

β€œHey, that looks like it hurts!”

β€œNaw, it’s not bad, it’s much better now.”

β€œRunning? Skiing? How’d you do it?”

β€œRock climbing.”

β€œRock climbing! Wow, so you must be strong, eh?”

β€œYeah, I’m ripped.”

β€œ … ripped? Really?”

β€œYeah, I’m super ripped.”

β€œ … oh. Wow. Not joking.”

β€œYeah, I’m joking. I’m not actually ripped.”

β€œ … ahaha … hah. That was good.”

β€œYep.”

β€œSo, I’m Christian.”

β€œHi, Christian.”

β€œ... and I don’t know if you’ve read the Bible, but the Bible says that laying on of hands, especially for our fellow Christians, will heal. And I’ve …” etc.

It took me a block to realize that I’d accidentally made a Dad joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Dad joked my friend while in a Skype call

So we're talking and he sends me a link to the profile of a girl he's been talking to.

I look through her pictures to find an overwhelming amount of rock climbing ones.

He asks, "What do you think?"

I reply, "Well, at least she seems down to earth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jcnr319
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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Don't leave me hanging

Was rock climbing at the gym with my brother yesterday and we saw a girl struggling to make a move. Her friend yelled for her to put her left foot into the nook by her knee, and I suggested that she put her right foot into the Kindle. Nothing but bewildered looks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Norsbane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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Classic chain of dadjokes (no puns:

What animal can fly and eats stones? the flying stone eater.

How does an elephant come out of a river? Wet.

How do you stuff a giraffe inside a fridge? You open the fridge door, you put the giraffe inside and you close the fridge door.

How long does it take for a rock from the top of the Eiffel tower to fall to the ground? It doesn't, because the flying stone eater eats it.

What's green and smells like blue paint? Green paint.

What's white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

What's white on the outside, yellow on the inside, and can't climb trees? The fridge with the giraffe inside.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's green, 40 feet long and hangs from trees? Elephant snot.

What's wet and has wheels? The elephant from the river, I lied about the wheels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dronelisk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2016
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Have been watching "House" for the past few weeks with my dad.

The episodes always start off with someone getting sick or injured, and during this particular intro, a mom was helping her daughter rock climb in a studio. The mom's hands became numb for whatever reason, and she subsequently let go of the rope, letting the kid fall.

My dad goes, "That's what happens when you're at the end of your rope."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackiemX
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2015
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