Climbing Wall Puns

I thought to myself, “That’s a little condescending.”

Peter parkour

In a condescending tone.

Because he is Peter Parkour

The latter.

Suddenly there was pandemonium everywhere. The guards on duty ushered us out of the gates just as a horde of inmates began climbing over the barrier wall.

One by one they dropped down disappearing into the brush. Just as I looked up, a midget in an orange jumpsuit stuck his tongue out at me and gave me the finger as he came down.

I thought to myself, "Well that's a little con descending."

There once was a princess named Emily, but the royal family called her Em for short. One day the king posed a riddle in order to choose a suitor for his eldest daughter, Elizabeth. The riddle was as follows:

Elizabeth has two apples, and Emily has one apple. Emily gives Elizabeth her apple as a wedding gift. How might you calculate the total amount of apples Elizabeth has presently?

Many days passed and no one could figure out the answer. Of course, on the first day a man came and answered, “Sire, to calculate the amount of apples Elizabeth has, you must add Emily’s apple.” He was promptly executed.

After this, the kingdom was stumped. Nobody knew how to calculate Elizabeth’s apples if the answer was not to simply to add Emily’s apple, and none dared to try and answer unless they were absolutely sure of it.

One night, a young man, determined to find the answer, climbed up the palace walls to watch the royal family as they ate.

“Father,” said Emily, “have you made the riddle too hard? No one has been able to guess it yet.”

“No worries Em,” responded the king, I have confidence that the time will come soon.”

The young man descended the wall, having learned the secret to the riddle.

The next day, dressed In his finest clothes, the young man approached the king with the answer to the riddle.

“What is your answer, young man?” declared the king.

The young man replied, “In order to calculate Elizabeth’s apples, you must ADD EM’S APPLE.”

The king answered “lol get it?”

Two guys at the funny farm. One guy says, “We can get out of here.”

The other guy says, “We can?”

He says, “Yes.”

The other guy says, “How?”

The first guy says, “I’ve got a big flashlight. Tonight we’ll come out to the wall, I’ll throw the light up against the wall, and you climb up the beam.”

The guy says, “You really think I’m nuts, don’t you? I know what you’d do! I’d get halfway up, you’d shut it off!”

(Editor’s note: Batman fans will recognize this as the final joke in The Killing Joke).

http://red-skelton.info/articles/jokes/two-guys-at-the-funny-farm/

As he was climbing over the wall, he sneered at me before dropping to the floor. I thought to myself "Well that's a little condescending".

...in the middle of the night.

Two dead men got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

drew their swords...

And shot each other!

How do you escape Prison?

Bang your head against the wall until it's sore.

Saw your bed in half,

Two halves make a whole,

Crawl through the hole,

Shout until you're hoarse,

Climb on the horse and gallop away!

I posted this to facebook:
>Oh god I can't move. Satisfying day at the rock gym.

My mom replied to the post with this:
> I'm sure there are climbing wall in other cities too.

I laughed my butt off and showed it to my boyfriend. He sadly didn't get it and I had to explain it to him.

Dad had a joke he would pull on us then any kid we would bring over. He would announce that he was going to demonstrate how to pin a cup of water to the wall. He would get a cup of water and a strait pin then move a chair over by the wall. He would then proceed to get his victim to hold the pin and the water while he climbed on to the chair. "OK, give me the water!". Then he would make a show of picking out a place to pin it. "Now give me the pin." When they step up to hand him the pin.... he threw the water in their face.

I was tasked with cleaning walls inside a grocery store. Someone I know walks in, and, they knew I just started there. I called down, "I bet you didn't think I'd climb the ladder this quickly, hey?"

I'm only 18, and not a dad... but, ^one ^of ^us?

It was a little condescending

Thought to myself, “that’s a little condescending”.

I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending."

I thought to myself... “that’s a little condescending”.

...I thought to myself, that’s a little condescending.

He fell!

It was a little condescending.

I thought to myself, “now that’s a little condescending”

I thought to myself "Now, that's a little condescending".

As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."

It was a little condescending

I have to tell you, it was a little condescending.

That’s a little condescending

A little condescending

and I saw a midget climbing down the wall to escape.

When he reached the bottom he sneered at me and I thought, “That’s a little condescending.”