Business at the bakery is on the rise
πŸ‘οΈŽ 48
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/teediggs
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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Why does Jesus rise?

Because his body was made out of bread

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/m00nieboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2021
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Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tecniklee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2020
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9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....

Quaranteens.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 603
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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These kitties love puns almost as much as napping, and the rise of the proletariat.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-NarWallace-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?

I wanna commit suislide

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GLIZZYGOD999
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.

What a grand start to the weekend.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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My buddy once asked me what it's like to work as a high rise window washer...

I said it has its ups and downs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2020
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Rise and Shine
πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TibiaChi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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I told my boss I need a pay rise and that 3 other companies were after me...

He said 'which ones?'

I said ' Gas, electric and water'

πŸ‘οΈŽ 334
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 21 2020
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What is the area of a circular piece of dough, where the slice length is "z" and the rise is "A"

Pi(z)(z)(A)

Edit: Volume not area

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hctibasiaixelsyd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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So I just found out some politicians with bowel problems are unfairly helping other politicians with bowel problems rise to power.

I guess our government has a problem with crohnyism.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/caligari87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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If monkeys start stealing clothes from everyone it'll be the Rise of the planet of the Dr'apes'
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/our_lord23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
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They say firefighters deserve a pay rise

But apparently a pole was taken and they all fell through a hole in the floor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/glazbypsn
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
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Who rises during Yeaster?

Jesus CRUST!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nightdrawsnear
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2020
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Say β€œRise up lights” out loud.

Congratulations, you can now say razor blades in Australian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 162
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/G-Note
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2019
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I was watching the sun rise, when it dawned on me
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/confibulator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2017
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How did Sith Lords rise to the top?

They took the elevader.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CalebFnCool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2020
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Do you know why it took Jesus 3 days to rise from his grave?

It would’ve been the next day, but he had Post Martyr-dom depression.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SquigglesMcJiggly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2020
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Iron Deficiency gang rise up!

But not too fast

πŸ‘οΈŽ 103
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rafapex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2019
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"Did you hear about the new zombie game that all they do is watch dough rise?"

"It's called Bread Rising."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QuitePasta
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2020
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I was going to wake up early to watch the sun rise.

But then it dawned on me that I should sleep in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shabbos_roller
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2020
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The r/punpatrol has gone too far! We need to rise up!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnthonyisClueless
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2019
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bread and the sun are similar - both rise in the yeast
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/US99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2018
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The next generation rises....
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/artguy14
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2019
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It's safe to assume that, once someone rises to the rank of Colonel, they will continue to be promoted.

Though I guess that's just a generalization.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DthAlchemist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 29 2019
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Every day I forget which direction the sun rises...

Then it dawns on me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 178
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kameshkii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2018
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Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Shy_NaughtyMuslim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2019
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I have to rise up if I want to beat them.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2018
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How did Jesus rise from the dead?

YEASTER EGGS

I'm a couple days late on this one but he took his time too

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyNameCouldBeFrank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2019
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I always have trouble living in high rise buildings with many neighbors.

I might I might have an apartment complex.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2019
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The Rise Of Skywalker

The Rise Of Skywalker

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nws4c
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2019
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As I sat there on that dark, winter morning, I couldn’t remember when the sun would finally rise....

But then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/refusalskills
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2018
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My buddy said, "All Rise!"

And, so I told him, "That's not how you bake bread, tho.."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hentaisianbloke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2019
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Amsterdam will be one of the first major cities to be wiped out by sea level rise due to climate change

I guess it will be Amsterdamned.

That's quite ironic, isn't it supposed to serve as a dam?

source: http://geology.com/sea-level-rise/

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bary3000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2017
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I swear they're trying to get a rise out of me.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 199
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/meatb4ll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2015
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Why did the balloon prices rise?

Inflation . . . . . . . Also serious economic issues in the United States which will hopefully be addressed soon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheDestroyer575
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2018
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What do bowling alley staff do when they want a pay rise?

strike!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sir_waffling
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2018
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Why didn't the bread rise in the great state of Maine.

Wrong dough Maine

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dipmate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2017
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What do you call a bird which rises from the ashes but is unable to fly?

Joaquin Phoenix

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Skarkroe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 13 2017
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"Crime always rises when it's hot out..."

"...probably because it's so muggy."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pepperrush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2013
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When bread rises....

....is that called a yeast inflection?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dxdrummer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2015
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Why should you never grow corn on a rise?

Then the hills have ears.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2017
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dad said this at Rise of the Apes last night

During the charge scene he leans in and says

"Talk about guerrilla warfare"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/walkerh81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2014
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I was trying to figure out what time the sun would rise this morning.

Then it dawned on me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2017
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What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OppositeFingat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2017
🚨︎ report

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