In need of Rose puns

For a silent auction for a non-profit I'm helping with they need rose puns/play on words for the packages. It's a wine event as well. Here are some of the ideas I've figured out as well. Whine and Rows? Rose Colored Glasses Rose and Shone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acer5886
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2016
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Roses are red, cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

πŸ‘︎ 814
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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What do you get when you cross a herding dog with a rose?

A Collie-flower!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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My daughter's friend is Hayley Rose

Which is a lovely name. They could have gone the other way... Hayley Columns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmabbz
πŸ“…︎ May 31
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You can learn a lot of things when making a rose garden

I learnt that I don’t feel like making a rose garden any time soon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/forstuvetankel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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What happened to Guns 'n Roses' tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up for repair?

Its axle rose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poobutt42069
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
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Roses are red, Violets are blue,

Don't confuse KY, with Gorilla Glue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
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Roses are Red, Violets Are Red...

...I set your garden on fire.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Roses are gray, violets are gray

I'm colorblind, heck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadynastys182
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Roses are dead, Violets are dead...

I’m shit at gardening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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What does a medium who wears rose-colored glasses say?

I see red people

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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For my anniversary, 12 women named Rose showed up while we were having breakfast. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Screamed my wife.

"Honey, I got you a bouquet."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I got friend zoned but being the gentleman that I am, I still have her a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da3013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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I read it's romantic to scatter rose petals on your bed, but they were too expensive. Instead, my wife and I will just have to make love on..

No bed of roses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Daughter asked, β€œWhy am I named Rose?” Its because a rose landed on you shortly after you were born. My other daughter asked, β€œ Why am I named Daisy?” It is because a daisy landed on your head after you were born.

My son asked, β€œ Why is my name Richard?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What did the tulip say to the cheating rose?

β€œDon’t you be dandelion to me!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Roses are red, Violets are blue
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I tried looking at the world through rose colored glasses

Unfortunately, it just made the world cold and gray...

That’s when I finally realized I’m colorblind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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This tin foil rose my wife made me for our 10 year β€œtin” anniversary.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...

I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Roses are green, Violets are green, Everything's green

I think my TV is broken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourMumsAVirgin69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Roses are red, that much is true, violets are purple...

Not fucking blue!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheViciousKoala
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
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Roses are red, gliders can glide,
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Also_A_Puny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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Roses are red violets are blue...

I can make only bad dad jokes unlike you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diamondsarefun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
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What did the German bread say as it rose?

Gluten Tag

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shinotheshino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Roses are red, I don't like jam
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farthen_Dur
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Roses are red, violets are blue

You're welcome for the gardening facts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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A guy gives flowers to all of his family. To his wife he gives roses, to his parents he gives orchids, to his daughters he gives daisies.

And to his sons he gives sunflowers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FactoryBuilder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Someone keeps sending me roses with the heads cut off

I think I'm being stalked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doppelganker994
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?

It’s just plain common scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Did you hear about the Native American cook who rose up to become second in command at Bobby Flay's restaurants?

He was a Sioux chef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Roses are red, so is my bed

I got an upvote, but why is it red?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheezstick7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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I had to trim my rose bush today

It was a real prick job

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNewBo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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Roses are red the queen wears a crown

Never gonna give up never gonna let you down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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Roses are red, violets are blue

I'm very observant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Roses are red. Violets are blue

Just an observation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karma-enigma
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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What's better than having roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike561991
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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Roses are red...

Roses are red. Violets are red. The grass is red. The fence is red. OH SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no pun and so do you.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giftelzwerg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
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Roses are red. Violets are read. The grass is red.

My garden burns

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Berster6
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is better than having roses on your piano?

Having tulips on your organ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pho_de_bimos
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have multiple personalities

And so do I

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatcornellbitch
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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