What did the big candle say to the little candle?

"I'm going out tonight!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bootlebat
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
Why can’t candles burn during the week?

Because they only burn on wick ends

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayCola93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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What burns longer; a red candle or a blue candle?

Neither; they both burn shorter!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Why do they sell candles with lids?

It makes no scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coloradocorey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
How are mafia murders like candles?

They're both wax.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zotiko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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What do you call a sale on birthday candles?

A blowout.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarris5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
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I was very poor growing up. On my 10th birthday we bought half a cake with 5 candles.

We put it against a mirror.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
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What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?

Candlebalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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Candles aren't so nice
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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My wife just bought a $98 unscented candle.

It makes no scents.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wadude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What’s the difference between a candle and a skinny horseman?

One is a night light, and the other is a light knight.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Martholomeow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...

They were having a blowout sale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Told my wife I really liked her new pineapple scented candle

https://imgur.com/tlHbF9O

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vult92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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What is it called when a candle eats another candle?

Candlebolism

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UrMum9ay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I got 99 candles, cuz she can’t buy one. [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterKnifeComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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How do you make the candles on your cake really happy?

Just blow them out! They'll be delighted!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?

John Wick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
You should go to the candle store...

They’re having a blowout sale.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one.

So I got a cake

-Mitch Hedberg

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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.

My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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I'm really enjoying this line of scented bathroom candles Keanu Reeves is selling

I'm a fan of John Wicks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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What kind of insurance do candles companies get?

Waxident insurance...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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They should make a film series about a guy who uses candles as weapons.

Call it John Wick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhodesrugger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?

Frankincense

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a job at the candle store...

but became INCENSEd and quit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to a party where everyone was dressed as a birthday candle.

It was a blowout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend had a table candle featuring glitter and 100 fibrous bundles to light...

It was pretty wicked!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.

It has a very rich aroma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubosKube
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My Buddhist friend just gave me a β€œNirvana” scented candle.

It smells like Teen Spirit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How do angels light a candle?

With a match made in heaven

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A candle with no smell?

It doesn't make scents!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the oil lamp say to the flickering candle?

Do you want to go out sometime soon?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queen-fireheart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the boy candle say to the girl candle?

Will you go out with me?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/--keeks--
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the candle say to the match?

You light up my world

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the best place to learn more about candles?

Wickipedia.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember the day the candle store burned down.

Everyone stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why isn't the candle factory more profitable?

Because they only make a few scents

Edit: reworded by request

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelc84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the candle quit her job?

She was too burnt out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImHungry321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
We didn't have 19 candles. My dad said the cake was "4" my birthday.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TPWALW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
When a candle says "soy candle," has it become self aware and fluent in spanish?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YetiFromJersey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best place to get information on candles

Wickipedia

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexCruz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What parts of a fish are used to make candles?

It's paraffins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GGGargadon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
what is a candles favorite movie

jhon wick

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parker_E_Koch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought my teenager candles for his room.

It’s pretty lit.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
All you dads out there couldn’t hold a candle to my dad.

He makes gunpowder for a living.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
The producers of John Wick 3 should come out with a line of promotional sented bathroom candles.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xilban
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report

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