I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 285
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.

I have to give it away now

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:

"Here's your Nickleback."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jessieface13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I misplaced my pizza cutter so I had to use my Bryan Adams cd.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CobaltD70
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my pizza cutter so I had to use a Bryan Adams CD instead

In case anyone is wondering it cuts like a knife

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdolsa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My pizza cutter broke the other day so I used an old Bryan Adams CD

Cuts like a knife!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/338geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally dropped one of my Bach CDs

Unfortunately, I baroque it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pansexual man named nick who works at a cd store?

Pan nick at the disc co.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_abdula03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole some of my rap CDs.

Oh well, no biggie.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If I cut a CD

does it get DVDed?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andidaniel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".

That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...

He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine brought a CD to Rome just for this
πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DieserBene
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A paralyzed man in a wheelchair is handed a CD copy of "Inbetween Days."

So he stands up and just walks away.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
"Hey, I bought a Prince CD for just under 20 dollars."

"Lets party like its $19.99!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nich_05
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Should be able to CD eclipse just fine
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nativewoodman43
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
🚨︎ report
I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
You got any Ariana cds?

We have some Ariana Grandes.

I don't like her that much, do you have any Ariana talls?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubblezoid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
he was fired. source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjA46r-hMbhAhXSs1kKHZV4BLcQjhx6BAgBEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcheezburger.com%2F8597911808%2Fcan-anyone-else-appreciate-bad-puns&psig=AOvVaw3Dn1q_pnl4rMWOV6-ES_aS&ust=1555003267002839
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tomie-T
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard someone stole a Shaggy CD from the mall

Wasn't me

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/almondjoyeee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you burn a CD?

Tell it that it's obsolete.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahmednadeemawaan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
People used to laugh when I bought vinyls whilst they bought CDs. Now CDs are going away and vinyls are coming back in..

One may say that the tables have turned.

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nochinnn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?

Sphinx wrapped

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Bahamian rap CD
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dillydigno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pan-sexual named Nick who works at a CD Store?

Pan Nick At the Disc Co.

I'll show myself the door.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uraveragefanboi77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If I were a Rapper, my Rapper name would be Gershwin. I would distribute my CD's in blue wrappers

They would be Gershin's Rap CDs in Blue.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between vinyl, 8-track, cds, cassettes, and mp3s ?

With vinyl everyone can be a record holder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
If you think my puns are bad, wait till you CDs
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anormalasado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
For Halloween, our priest taped Cd's to his glasses

It was a blessing in disk eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catapult_Power
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I was listening to some inspirational CDs in the car.

They kept telling me to go the extra mile. So I did, and I got lost.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClebberBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me a gift of broken CD of Dark Side Of The Moon. ..

I told her to stick it where the sun don't shine.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2016
🚨︎ report
A man threw two copies of the CD single 'I just Called to Say I Love You' at the artist.

One hit Wonder.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a Matchbox 20 CD that wouldn't play...

It was Bent.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2015
🚨︎ report
Secret of CD Projekt Red [Repost from /r/witcher]

Why are CD Projekt RED such good developers?

Because they Polish all their games

All credits goes to /u/Time_Terminal :)

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emberium
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
🚨︎ report
My nostril got cut when a buddy tossed a Police CD at me...

Now it Stings with Every Breath I Take.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErikF
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I hope my dad likes his new CD.

I asked him "Europop?" He looked at me funny and said "Of course."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What CD was the cat listening to?

Meow That’s What I Call Music!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wvchrome
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did they call the invention of CDs?

A Disc-overy!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Client says to me that he can't find his ice cube CD.

I asked if anything was damaged when it melted.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jssanga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2016
🚨︎ report
My mom, in reference to my grandfather's POS computer, while holding a spindle of blank CDs, "Does it burn?"

"If I use enough gasoline it will."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2015
🚨︎ report
CD from KFC

Our local KFC was giving away CDs today, 'the Best of KFC'. Wasn't expecting much but it's finger clicking good!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westerbypl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2016
🚨︎ report
I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

It cuts like a knife

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ball-_-fondler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I was listening to some inspirational CDs in the car. They kept telling me to go the extra mile.

So I did, and I got lost.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4ost
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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