My pizza cutter broke so I used a Bryan Adam’s CD.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 116
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ProjectOcoee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2021
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Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.

I have to give it away now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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I broke two queen CDs earlier...

...now i want to break free

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:

"Here's your Nickleback."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jessieface13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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I accidentally dropped one of my Bach CDs

Unfortunately, I baroque it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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What do you call a pansexual man named nick who works at a cd store?

Pan nick at the disc co.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/king_abdula03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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If I cut a CD

does it get DVDed?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Andidaniel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
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Someone stole some of my rap CDs.

Oh well, no biggie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 19 2020
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So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".

That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2020
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Should be able to CD eclipse just fine
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nativewoodman43
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2017
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A friend of mine brought a CD to Rome just for this
πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DieserBene
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 27 2019
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The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...

He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2019
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"Hey, I bought a Prince CD for just under 20 dollars."

"Lets party like its $19.99!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nich_05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2019
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A paralyzed man in a wheelchair is handed a CD copy of "Inbetween Days."

So he stands up and just walks away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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he was fired. source: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjA46r-hMbhAhXSs1kKHZV4BLcQjhx6BAgBEAM&url=https%3A%2F%2Fcheezburger.com%2F8597911808%2Fcan-anyone-else-appreciate-bad-puns&psig=AOvVaw3Dn1q_pnl4rMWOV6-ES_aS&ust=1555003267002839
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tomie-T
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2019
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I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 21 2019
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People used to laugh when I bought vinyls whilst they bought CDs. Now CDs are going away and vinyls are coming back in..

One may say that the tables have turned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 351
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nochinnn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2018
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I heard someone stole a Shaggy CD from the mall

Wasn't me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/almondjoyeee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2019
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How do you burn a CD?

Tell it that it's obsolete.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ahmednadeemawaan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2019
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Bahamian rap CD
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dillydigno
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2019
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How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?

Sphinx wrapped

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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If you think my puns are bad, wait till you CDs
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anormalasado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2018
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If I were a Rapper, my Rapper name would be Gershwin. I would distribute my CD's in blue wrappers

They would be Gershin's Rap CDs in Blue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2019
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What's the difference between vinyl, 8-track, cds, cassettes, and mp3s ?

With vinyl everyone can be a record holder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/prendrefeu
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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For Halloween, our priest taped Cd's to his glasses

It was a blessing in disk eyes.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Catapult_Power
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2019
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My wife bought me a gift of broken CD of Dark Side Of The Moon. ..

I told her to stick it where the sun don't shine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BeardFM
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2016
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I was listening to some inspirational CDs in the car.

They kept telling me to go the extra mile. So I did, and I got lost.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ClebberBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2019
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I had a Matchbox 20 CD that wouldn't play...

It was Bent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 129
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billdanbury
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 21 2015
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Secret of CD Projekt Red [Repost from /r/witcher]

Why are CD Projekt RED such good developers?

Because they Polish all their games

All credits goes to /u/Time_Terminal :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Emberium
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 12 2016
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A man threw two copies of the CD single 'I just Called to Say I Love You' at the artist.

One hit Wonder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAnagramancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2018
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My nostril got cut when a buddy tossed a Police CD at me...

Now it Stings with Every Breath I Take.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ErikF
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2017
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I hope my dad likes his new CD.

I asked him "Europop?" He looked at me funny and said "Of course."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Onegodoneloveoneway
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2018
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What CD was the cat listening to?

Meow That’s What I Call Music!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wvchrome
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2018
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What did they call the invention of CDs?

A Disc-overy!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExplosiveLlama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2015
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Client says to me that he can't find his ice cube CD.

I asked if anything was damaged when it melted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jssanga
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2016
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My mom, in reference to my grandfather's POS computer, while holding a spindle of blank CDs, "Does it burn?"

"If I use enough gasoline it will."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FX114
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2015
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CD from KFC

Our local KFC was giving away CDs today, 'the Best of KFC'. Wasn't expecting much but it's finger clicking good!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/westerbypl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2016
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I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 285
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
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I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

It cuts like a knife

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ball-_-fondler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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I misplaced my pizza cutter so I had to use my Bryan Adams cd.

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CobaltD70
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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I lost my pizza cutter so I had to use a Bryan Adams CD instead

In case anyone is wondering it cuts like a knife

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mcdolsa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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My pizza cutter broke the other day so I used an old Bryan Adams CD

Cuts like a knife!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/338geek
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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What do you call a pan-sexual named Nick who works at a CD Store?

Pan Nick At the Disc Co.

I'll show myself the door.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Uraveragefanboi77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 16 2019
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