The Beatles tried recording an alphabet song....
But never made it past the Letter B Letter B Letter B Letter B
(Sing it you know you want to!)
I was recording my wife’s speech at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.
Now I’ll never hear the end of it.
What do rappers say when they finish recording?
My son was recording some audio for homework
Him: "Reasons that doing research underwater can be difficult include..."
Me (from my office): "the paper will get too wet!"
Him: "UGH!" stops and restarts recording
The fisherman used all funds from fish sales to buy collections of audio recordings issued as a single item on CD...
He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.
The little horse just finished a song at the recording studio. The producer says, "What else you got?"
"That's it. I'm a one track pony".
I love my career at the voice recording studio.
I don't know what it is, but the job just really speaks to me
A friend of mine quit their job recording background sounds for Hollywood films to open a spa.
I have to say that the difference in my skincare regimen is incredible, now that it's ex-foley aided!
I found some old, rare recordings of Al Gore playing music. I tried playing along with the music on drums, but I couldn’t.
I guess I’m just bad at Al Gore rhythms.
Who is the most fatigued recording artist of all time?
My son sent me a recording of a song he wrote. I gave him a suggestion to improve it but he didn't Iike it. He said it was "cheesy" So i said, "Maybe if you worked on your Kraft a little harder you might get a single."
You can tell if a band has real soul if, when they go on tour, you can tell the difference between the real band playing and a computer recording
it's called the Touring Test
Notice: Local Rap Artist Gershwin has announced that he will release his newest recordings only in the Compact Disk format, and they will be packaged in Periwinkle paper. So just look for:
Gershwin's rapped CD's in blue.
Illegally recording a cover band playing Cherry Pie:
I was listening to a recording my friend made.
"This is me."
"No, that's a piano."
The Beatles once recorded a song about a blue underwater vehicle.
For years I’ve been searching through record shops trying to find rare original U2 vinyls
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
I want to be buried with my record collection.
That would be my vinyl resting place.
After I went to the dentist, I went and recorded a gospel album. My mouth was still numb, so I was drooling the whole time.
The album's called "Songs of Salivation".
My underprivileged friend will only listen to the b side of his records.
It’s like he lives on the other side of the tracks.
People say I’m like a broken record
People say I’m like a broken record
A cat got into the guiness world record book
I found an old vinyl record of insect sounds.
I put it on, expecting relaxing ambient sounds like cicadas and such, but all I got was a droning buzz. That's when I realized that I was playing the bee side.
Did I tell you guys about the side-hustle plan I came up with? I’m going to do personal training for the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
In light of his record with these mega-projects, Elon Musk's proposed new Miami-tunnel gives new meaning to the term
"car-pool tunnel syndrome."
I’ve being breaking a lot of records recently...
I would have broken more if they didn’t kick me out of the music store.
I was arrested yesterday after neighbours complained about me playing Englebert Humperdink records all night
Police released me, let me go!
My town just set the record for the longest line fighting each other
You could see the punch line coming from a mile away
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
A guy on my street holds the world record for most concussions
He only lives a stone's throw away
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. It’s almost a full Heartland Rock set...
My friend Robert is a lawyer who specializes in helping convicted people by getting their records erased permanently. Everyone calls him...
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record...
The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkey’s health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldn’t possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
Why did Led Zeppelin have record sales in China last year.
Because the government declared a rock down.
One of my fathers last wishes was to have his ashes pressed into a record....
It was his vinyl request.
On the eve of a record breaking cold winter night, a wife notices her husband run to the backyard with a bucket in his hand.
She grabs a cup of hot cocoa and watches through the window as he fills the bucket up with water and races from the back of the house all the way out to the front yard and out of sight. She bundles up and goes outside to get a closer look and sees that he’s cleared the snow from the sidewalk. She watches as he takes his bucket of water and pours it out on the cold concrete. She’s puzzled for a second and then says:
Icy, what you did there.
Do you know what happens when you play a country record backwards?
Your truck comes back, your wife comes back, your dog comes back, your trailer isn’t flooded...
Where does Phil Collins record his music?
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..
..but I've already got that one.
Scientists have recently recorded the sounds of two helium atoms laughing
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record
I was telling my friend that brown rice is the same as white rice, but with a criminal record....
He thinks I'm a riceist for saying that.
Last year I recorded a video with my brother
I said to my mate, "I can't stop buying Beatles records..
He said "You need help."
"I've got that one." I replied.
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”
It was his vinyl resting place
People are usually shocked that I have a Police record.
But I love their greatest hits!
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
I am currently one of the world record holders for the Rubik's Cube...
It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?
Because they go “pew pew pew”.
My battery died when I was recording my wife giving a toast at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.
Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.
People say I’m like a broken record...
People say I’m like a broken record...
People say I’m like a broken record...
I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded ‘Lola’ and ‘You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...
I just have to work out a few Kinks.
Scientists record the sound of two helium atoms laughing.
People are usually shocked that I have a police record.
But I love their Greatest hits !
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