Laser Puns

A list of puns related to "Laser"

I used to have a talking laser printer!

But I got rid of it, I didn't like it's toner voice.

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👤︎ u/breakone9r
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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My first homegrown dad joke. What do you call a low energy laser?

Lazy.

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👤︎ u/Writers_On_The_Storm
📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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When you fire a Laser gun

https://imgur.com/gallery/TMpi7zN

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👤︎ u/RaymonDGYC
📅︎ Jul 02 2020
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Laser cut, by me
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👤︎ u/KraSop16
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?

OK boomer.

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👤︎ u/danielsoft1
📅︎ Dec 19 2019
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My New Years resolution for next year will be to finally get that laser eye surgery I’ve always wanted

It’s my 2020 vision

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👤︎ u/AnthMaster7
📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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I had laser eye surgery the other day.

I left very disappointed but at least i don't have to wear glasses anymore.

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👤︎ u/JDMskater04
📅︎ Feb 08 2020
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I was at this electronic music concert and the performer started playing a laser harp.

It was pretty Jarreing.

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👤︎ u/IanGecko
📅︎ Sep 14 2019
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Laser pointer
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👤︎ u/JIM45954
📅︎ Feb 21 2019
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Never let a urologist perform laser eye surgery on you

...

You might end up cock eyed.

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👤︎ u/sumguywithkids
📅︎ Jul 14 2019
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What do laser guns and churches have in common?

Pews

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👤︎ u/paxman2205
📅︎ Aug 21 2019
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There’s a robot that used a laser to gather information about birds.

It Scandinavian.

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👤︎ u/_PROkofiev_
📅︎ Aug 29 2019
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Laser eye surgery is a scam and should be avoided at all costs.

I had the procedure done 10 years ago, and I STILL can’t shoot laser beams from my eyes!

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👤︎ u/plmcalli
📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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I have just been firing my laser gun in a church.

Pew! Pew! Pew!

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👤︎ u/Pedantichrist
📅︎ Jan 30 2018
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Can you believe how far technology has come?! Now doctors can use lasers to enable you to see into the future!

Mine just told me after my surgery I'll have 2020 vision!

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👤︎ u/SvNOrigami
📅︎ Jan 10 2019
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A laser and a microwave got into an argument about who was better at warming things up.

I heard it got pretty heated.

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👤︎ u/Writers_On_The_Storm
📅︎ Feb 13 2019
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Superman using his eye lasers for laser eye surgery...

How eye-ronic would that be?

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👤︎ u/joshandthewolf
📅︎ Nov 11 2018
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I tried to pick up the navy's new mounted laser turret but it weighed more than a ton.

I thought a laser would be light.

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👤︎ u/Calthropstu
📅︎ Oct 05 2017
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My dog just had laser-eye surgery imgur.com/HFryS
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👤︎ u/tzippy84
📅︎ Jan 14 2013
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My friend told me that he's terrified of his Laser eye surgery tomorrow

I told him to wait and see

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👤︎ u/wildezgaming
📅︎ Apr 10 2018
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Laser eye surgery changed my life.

It was a visionary idea to create such cutting edge technology.

It made life a sight for sore eyes. I now see things clearly for what they are.

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👤︎ u/DennBay
📅︎ Jul 30 2013
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Did you hear about the military's new laser weapon?

It uses ultraviolent light

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👤︎ u/paul_senzee
📅︎ Oct 05 2017
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The people that invented laser diamond cutting are addicted to crystal math
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👤︎ u/amishrakefight1
📅︎ Oct 16 2014
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What do laser guns and churches have in common?

Pew

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👤︎ u/Blue__Wind
📅︎ Nov 18 2015
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What sound does a laser gun at church make?

Pew! Pew! Pew!

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👤︎ u/jumboshrimp4
📅︎ Sep 02 2018
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How is a church like a laser gun?

Pew! Pew! Pew!

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👤︎ u/RichNCrispy
📅︎ Jul 05 2017
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My laser eye surgery is tomorrow...

Very excited to have laser eyes.

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👤︎ u/owlgrandecity
📅︎ May 24 2014
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