What did the big candle say to the little candle?
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︎ May 30 2021
Why canβt candles burn during the week?
Because they only burn on wick ends
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What burns longer; a red candle or a blue candle?
Neither; they both burn shorter!
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︎ May 01 2021
Why do they sell candles with lids?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
How are mafia murders like candles?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 30 2021
What do you call a sale on birthday candles?
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I was very poor growing up. On my 10th birthday we bought half a cake with 5 candles.
We put it against a mirror.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Candles aren't so nice
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︎ Dec 01 2020
My wife just bought a $98 unscented candle.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Whatβs the difference between a candle and a skinny horseman?
One is a night light, and the other is a light knight.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...
They were having a blowout sale.
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︎ Aug 13 2020
Told my wife I really liked her new pineapple scented candle
https://imgur.com/tlHbF9O
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I got 99 candles, cuz she canβt buy one. [OC]
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︎ Aug 16 2020
How do you make the candles on your cake really happy?
Just blow them out! They'll be delighted!!
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︎ Aug 21 2020
What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?
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︎ Jul 15 2020
I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one.
So I got a cake
-Mitch Hedberg
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︎ May 21 2020
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.
My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
I'm really enjoying this line of scented bathroom candles Keanu Reeves is selling
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︎ Aug 17 2020
What kind of insurance do candles companies get?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jun 26 2020
They should make a film series about a guy who uses candles as weapons.
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︎ Jan 07 2020
What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 04 2020
My friend had a table candle featuring glitter and 100 fibrous bundles to light...
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︎ Jun 30 2020
I had a job at the candle store...
but became INCENSEd and quit.
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︎ Jan 05 2020
Went to a party where everyone was dressed as a birthday candle.
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︎ Jan 30 2020
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
My Buddhist friend just gave me a βNirvanaβ scented candle.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
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︎ Nov 22 2019
How do angels light a candle?
With a match made in heaven
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︎ Mar 19 2020
A candle with no smell?
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︎ Oct 24 2019
What did the oil lamp say to the flickering candle?
Do you want to go out sometime soon?
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 20 2020
What did the candle say to the match?
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 09 2019
Whatβs the best place to learn more about candles?
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︎ Jan 25 2020
I remember the day the candle store burned down.
Everyone stood around and sang Happy Birthday.
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︎ Feb 16 2020
Why isn't the candle factory more profitable?
Because they only make a few scents
Edit: reworded by request
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︎ Jun 29 2019
We didn't have 19 candles. My dad said the cake was "4" my birthday.
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︎ Aug 27 2013
When a candle says "soy candle," has it become self aware and fluent in spanish?
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︎ Sep 22 2019
What's the best place to get information on candles
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 15 2019
What parts of a fish are used to make candles?
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 28 2019
what is a candles favorite movie
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︎ Jul 31 2019
I bought my teenager candles for his room.
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︎ Nov 29 2018
All you dads out there couldnβt hold a candle to my dad.
He makes gunpowder for a living.
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︎ Nov 06 2018
The producers of John Wick 3 should come out with a line of promotional sented bathroom candles.
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︎ Jan 26 2019
What is it called when a candle eats another candle?
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︎ Nov 17 2020
You should go to the candle store...
Theyβre having a blowout sale.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
What did the boy candle say to the girl candle?
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 01 2019
Why did the candle quit her job?
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 16 2019
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