What do you call it when a candle eats another candle?

Candlebalism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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My wife just bought a $98 unscented candle.

It makes no scents.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wadude
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Candles aren't so nice
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What’s the difference between a candle and a skinny horseman?

One is a night light, and the other is a light knight.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Martholomeow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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Told my wife I really liked her new pineapple scented candle

https://imgur.com/tlHbF9O

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vult92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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I went to the candle store to celebrate my cake day...

They were having a blowout sale.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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I got 99 candles, cuz she can’t buy one. [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterKnifeComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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How do you make the candles on your cake really happy?

Just blow them out! They'll be delighted!!

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What is the name of the assassin that only kills candles?

John Wick

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one.

So I got a cake

-Mitch Hedberg

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I'm really enjoying this line of scented bathroom candles Keanu Reeves is selling

I'm a fan of John Wicks

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.

My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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What kind of insurance do candles companies get?

Waxident insurance...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SillyTrain
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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What do you call a candle made up of the melted remains of other candles?

Frankincense

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My friend had a table candle featuring glitter and 100 fibrous bundles to light...

It was pretty wicked!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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They should make a film series about a guy who uses candles as weapons.

Call it John Wick.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhodesrugger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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Went to a party where everyone was dressed as a birthday candle.

It was a blowout

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I'm burning a gold-scented candle.

It has a very rich aroma.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubosKube
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I had a job at the candle store...

but became INCENSEd and quit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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My Buddhist friend just gave me a β€œNirvana” scented candle.

It smells like Teen Spirit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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How do angels light a candle?

With a match made in heaven

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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I used to get heartburn whenever I ate birthday cake...

... until the doctor told me to take the candles off first!

Happy cake day to meeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlie_boo
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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What did the oil lamp say to the flickering candle?

Do you want to go out sometime soon?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queen-fireheart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best place to learn more about candles?

Wickipedia.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Why isn't the candle factory more profitable?

Because they only make a few scents

Edit: reworded by request

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelc84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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When a candle says "soy candle," has it become self aware and fluent in spanish?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YetiFromJersey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best place to get information on candles

Wickipedia

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DexCruz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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What parts of a fish are used to make candles?

It's paraffins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GGGargadon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
what is a candles favorite movie

jhon wick

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parker_E_Koch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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We didn't have 19 candles. My dad said the cake was "4" my birthday.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TPWALW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report
A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.

He is amazed and wants to buy the duck. The man refuses at first but eventually agreed. As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts. Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing. Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought my teenager candles for his room.

It’s pretty lit.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
The producers of John Wick 3 should come out with a line of promotional sented bathroom candles.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xilban
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
All you dads out there couldn’t hold a candle to my dad.

He makes gunpowder for a living.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is the most dangerous candle in the world?

John Wick

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackVendaeta
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do we have the tradition of blowing out candles on birthday cakes?

So we don't burn our faces when we eat it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is it called when a candle eats another candle?

Candlebolism

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UrMum9ay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You should go to the candle store...

They’re having a blowout sale.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A candle with no smell?

It doesn't make scents!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I remember the day the candle store burned down.

Everyone stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the boy candle say to the girl candle?

Will you go out with me?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/--keeks--
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the candle say to the match?

You light up my world

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the candle quit her job?

She was too burnt out.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImHungry321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of starting a candle making company.

My family doesn't think it's a good idea, but I keep assuring them it makes scents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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