My bff and I want to go to a local art exhibit. Terrible art puns ensue
Martial arts pun
I was going to write a joke about martial arts, but I decided that it was to offensive
When I saw this art pun I knew I had to put it here
President Bush dad jokes his daughter (and the nation) during art gallery interview. [Video, @1:14]
Jenna Bush Hager interviews her dad (Bush 43) for an NBC special on the opening of his art exhibition at the Bush Presidential Library. About a minute in, he slips in a pretty good dad joke:
Jenna: Do these people know that you are painting them?
Bush: Sort of. There's no telling how these people are going to react. I think I told Tony [Blair] I was painting him and he sort of brushed it off.
Jenna: No 'art pun' intended.
Bush: That was definitely an art pun.
Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
Art by Cyanide & Happiness
How do you get an art history major off your front porch ?
The Earth without art is..
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique
But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.
I just beat my friend in a Wild West themed art race!
I was quicker to the draw.
What is the difference between an art installation and performance art?
Crap on your neighbors doorstep then ring the doorbell - that's an art installation.
Ring the doorbell THEN crap on his doorstep - that's performance art.
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
The Earth without 'art'...
I never liked art teachers...
They were always a bit sketchy.
I got an F in art class on purpose
I wanted my report card to spell out F art
Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother
Where do vampires buy their art supplies?
I went into my art lesson covered in yeast and flour...
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
Art supplies are a sound financial investment
That’s why it’s called “art appreciation”
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...
It was stolen from right under my nose.
Some fan art I made today
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
Art Garfunkel has been selling his hair, saying that its essence makes people horny
He calls it his afro-disiac
Where do you put crappy art?
...on the continental shelf.
I knew a guy who gave away his art but he only seemed to paint ducks with incomplete faces.
I asked about it once and he said “I like to bill them later.”
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state of the art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.
They’re calling it Mercedes-clenz
What vegetable is the most skilled in Martial Arts?
I can’t afford expensive art
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
My local bakery has a martial arts promotion going on
They allow you to take-one-dough.
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
The result of an art competition...
When you see a panda doing martial arts
You just don't get surprised, you also get bamboozled
My son hates art so much that his body releases gas every time we talk about it
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
An eggciting resin art project
Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art
Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.
I called it GandOwlF
Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.
It requires a lot of monet.
People ask me how I got so good at martial arts
I have a senseitional trainer
What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?
If Da Vinci saw the Mona Lisa in an art museum,
I think he would have Louvred it
Have you heard the news about the Art club going missing.
They disappeared without a trace.
Why was the art restorer sent to prison?
He was a Monet launderer.
Look, everyone. It's Count Spatula. (Original art by me)
Our art teacher wanted us to come closer to sketch an aspect of distance or time...
What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?
In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.