Martial arts pun
I was going to write a joke about martial arts, but I decided that it was to offensive
When I saw this art pun I knew I had to put it here
President Bush dad jokes his daughter (and the nation) during art gallery interview. [Video, @1:14]
Jenna Bush Hager interviews her dad (Bush 43) for an NBC special on the opening of his art exhibition at the Bush Presidential Library. About a minute in, he slips in a pretty good dad joke:
Jenna: Do these people know that you are painting them?
Bush: Sort of. There's no telling how these people are going to react. I think I told Tony [Blair] I was painting him and he sort of brushed it off.
Jenna: No 'art pun' intended.
Bush: That was definitely an art pun.
Some fan art I made today
The result of an art competition...
I have decided to go to a city in SW France to study history and art.
I figure, what do I have Toulouse.
I was pondering some of the practical arts that are dying out like silversmithing and coppersmithing.
One of the most tragic is the art of hand making exit signs which is really on the way out.
I just read in the newspaper: "Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins."
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
If Da Vinci saw the Mona Lisa in an art museum,
I think he would have Louvred it
People ask me how I got so good at martial arts
I have a senseitional trainer
Have you heard the news about the Art club going missing.
They disappeared without a trace.
Fellow Dads, Help me name this Garden Art
Looking for what my fellow Dads would name this garden artwork in my buddies yard.
I called it GandOwlF
Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.
It requires a lot of monet.
Why was the art restorer sent to prison?
He was a Monet launderer.
Our art teacher wanted us to come closer to sketch an aspect of distance or time...
An eggciting resin art project
What's the difference between baseball and Chinese martial arts?
In baseball, many men chew, but few men smoke. In Chinese martial arts, many men smoke, but fu manchu.
We just bought a painting by a farmer who only creates art of cows and horses.
His name is Oscar Moo-neigh.
The only type of art that people despised
Two artists had an art contest. How did it end?
Look, everyone. It's Count Spatula. (Original art by me)
Who improved the art of stealing to perfection?
I'd like to believe I'm okay at art, but
What do you call a ginger kid who’s good at martial arts?
I asked Ryu if i could learn martial arts at his level yesterday
He said: “Suuuuureee YOU can!”
What is a sailor's favorite type of art?
He knows the subtle art of denial
Why was Hitler rejected from art school?
They did nazi his artistic talent
Did you hear about the baker who started taking martial arts classes?
After only 4 weeks he was a black belt in Tae Kwon Dough
There is a robot creating art by copying things fråm star wars. Art o' dito
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
What type of martial arts do viruses know?
Thought you all might enjoy the art I made for new ears eve
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
What does a martial arts expert drink?
I was going to study the art of treating the body by rubbing and kneading my wife's body to stimulate circulation...
But then I found out that would be massage-ony.
I went to an art gallery in my van...
But when i came back i couldn’t find it.
Where did my Van Gogh?
The art critic had to see a podiatrist.
He was diagnosed with aesthetes foot. (OC)
Me: I love going to art school! My wife: you can’t go any more!
Me : but that’s where I draw the line
I like more formalized martial arts than Muay Thai.
I’ve started studying Muay Suit and Thai.
My dad was bragging about his new hearing aid. “State of the Art,” he said, “It cost me a fortune.”
I said, “Awesome. What type is it?”
He said, “ Two thirty.”
So somebody asked if I can make martial arts joke
What would Earth be without art?
Literally just had this one made up by my 10 year old. So proud!
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I drew a blank”
why are the discarded papers that once held the halloween candy just like vocalists who have lost their rhythm, art, and poetry?
they are both empty rappers
What do you call a canadian prime minister that practises martial arts?
I had a marriage counselling session with my wife and we were prescribed Marital Arts classes, after which our relation became more violent...
I'm starting to think the therapist didn't make a spelling mistake.
Nihilistic works of art don't make a lot of money....
Because its a Nietzsche market
Asian martial arts must be very dehydrating...
because every second line in a movie is "Wataaah!".
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Old man Art was planting flowers in his front yard. The homeowners’ association fined him $100.
Yard Art is strictly prohibited.
My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
My cousin's middle school student drew this in her art class
I think I have to rein back my puns. (Art by me)
So today I walked into my art class but..
It seemed a little sketchy.
A friend of mine claimed that you can't make a suggestive phrase out of a martial art
"Muay Thai prove you wrong?"
I submitted a statue of myself shaped like a butt to an art contest.
I didn’t win but the judges said I made a real ass of myself.
What kind of martial arts do cows like best?
Yiu know what kind of Martial Arts Jesus practices?
So a sensei or ‘teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.
He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.
I'm going to start a low carb, high fat and protein combined with martial arts diet
Found this on a wall while Joaquin through an abandoned art building at my University.
I took my cow to an art exhibit.
She really loved the moosaics.
Edit: moosaics instead of mosaics
A friend of mine was trying to decide whether to study art or philosophy.
I told him he should draw a conclusion.
Saw this on classical art memes
Pun book I found by art moger ask if you want to see more puns from this
I've been trying to read a book called "The Advanced Art of Lockpicking"
But I just can't get into it.
I was going to take an art class in college
But it was too sketchy for me. Something drew me away from it
I made it to the final round of the Art Competition, but didn’t win.
It turned out to be a draw.
My friends always say contemplating the meaning of art is the most philosophical side to art...
But when I’m drawing, deciding “2B or not 2B” is the real question.
I ordered some art prints weeks back and now I keep thinking that one day my prints will come.
"Watch Your Tongue", Digital Art, 3600x3600px
I'm open to trying all kinds of art
But still life is where I draw the lime.
There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s kind of.. Kung-Fusing
What is a Trump supporter's favorite martial art?
Some people do martial arts to defend themselves. . .
Others do them just for kicks.
Art isn't mine but the pun is.
What’s hitlers least favorite martial art?
Where do martial arts masters shop for furniture?
at the I-KEA!!!
(I think this is my first original dad-joke)
What is a bearded martial arts instructor's favorite bubble gum?
Wanna know why I started trying out fabric arts and crafts?
Me: Dad can you tell me what a star shaped martial arts weapon is called?
What did the tutor call the 4th year art student's work?
I created a company called Hippy Art
Unfortunately, when we went public we quickly became the laughing stock of the NYSE.
What would earth be without art?