Every time I enter a room, I write down my name on a piece of paper and stick it behind some furniture.

That’s my signature move.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
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So i brought home a piece of furniture last night...

but it left in the morning without saying a word. It was one nightstand.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?

With four casters.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Which piece of furniture is a singer?

Cher (Chair)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eashwarramu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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My lumberjack friend occasionally gives me pieces of wood to build my home furniture .

It’s his random axe of kindness.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?

a cowch.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Technogky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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What is a farmers favorite piece of furniture?

The vegeTABLE

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olivewitharhyme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?

The vegetable

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bboosic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
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What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?

A drawer

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treutm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2017
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At what piece of furniture does the Silence of the Lambs villain deliver his speeches?

A Hannibal Lectern

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amishandroid
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
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Which piece of my deck furniture originated in Northern Africa?

Moroccan Chair.

Came up with this just now and made my girlfriend roll her eyes at me. Not a dad myself, but I hope you appreciate some OC!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeauxoxo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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What was Vlad III's favorite piece of furniture?

His Ottoman.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themannamedme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
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Saw a girl walking out of a store with a small piece of furniture, it was the demo model.

Told my step daughter that the girl had purchased a stool sample!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogy650
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
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So imagine a civilization made up of only bedroom furniture.

So imagine a civilization made up of only bedroom furniture. So you have bed frames, nightstands, drawers etc. One day this beautiful dresser fell down and couldn't get up. "Help help help!", the dresser said. Then suddenly this mysterious, strong piece of furniture came to her and helped her up. She said "Thank you! You are my knight in shining armoire"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danno_alpine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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My Dad's Top Two Jokes

Joke #1: Me: Where is mom? Dad: Oh, she's under the bed. (Or whatever piece of furniture he thinks of first. Not once in my life have I asked him where my mom is and he's given me a straight answer. She's always under some piece of furniture.)

Joke #2: Dad: Ok, tell me how's it going... I start to talk about how I'm doing...
Dad: No, tell me how's it going. Me: .... Oh, how's it going. Dad: I'm doing great, but tell me how you are doing. (When I was little, this could go on for a while.)

My sisters and I are in our thirties and he still does whenever we call.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/knows_a_hebrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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Houses

So, I used to have this cousin who lived in the country side. He subsistenced farmed, but worked as a carpenter before hand. He kept a few pieces of furniture, most notably his chair that he called his throne. So one day, he puts his throne on his roof, and its a grass house. He sits on said throne, that's on the roof. After sitting for a while he goes back down to get something to eat. As he climbs down, the chair falls through the ceiling, killing him. The Moral of the story? Don't stow thrones on grass houses.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Siphari
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
🚨︎ report

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