From time to time, I have the urge to make a joke about the table of known elements...

It's just something I must do periodically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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What do you call dinosaurs that love the periodic table of elements?

Nothing. They Argon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jga620
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2014
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I don't know if this belongs here but my dad...

... spent all weekend making this coffee table. I didn't think much of it until i saw him attaching some hoses, a water tank, a dirt tank, a fan, a propane tank and a timer. I asked him what the hell he was building and he said "Well twice a day it's going to shoot either fire, water, dirt or air." I sat there stunned and confused and just said "But....why?" He said "Why? Well that's because it's a periodic table of elements."

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melancholytron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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A* Chemistry

I gave my students a periodic table test out of the blue.

They all got poor marks. I was so disappointed.

I thought we'd mastered the element of surprise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coronabeer67843
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
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Iron Man is FeMale

Refer to the periodic table of elements with questions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryan56k
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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Chemistry Puns

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.


How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone


What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.


Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!


Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.


Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.


How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.


If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium


What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe


What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A β€˜gram’ cracker.


What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)


What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.


How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a β€œcarbonkneel”


What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.


How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.


Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down


Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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How often do I make jokes about the Table of Elements?

Periodically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/powerpass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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