I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
Because all his friends Argon.
I want a punny name for it that makes people cringe. As of right now itβs Arnold Palmer... please give me more suggestions π
Hey everyone, check out that neooff sign!
Neon doesn't react
It was the highlight of my whole day, actually.
Put your knee on it.
He wanted to put up neon lights.
He doesnβt react to any of them.
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
Unfortunately, I found out that most of them Argon
The Potassium Potassium Potassium
They got rid of all their neon essential employees.
One is dressed entirely in bright pink, another neon green, and another in gorgeous gold.
A man ordering food at the counter notices them and asks the employee why they are wearing such bright colours, to which the employee responds:
"The burkas are better at Hungry Jack's"
Funny collection of chemistry puns
What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.
How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone
What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you canβt helium or curium, you barium!
Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.
Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because itβs in the ground state.
How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocadoβs number.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What element is a girlβs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.
What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium
What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe
What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A βgramβ cracker.
What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)
What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.
How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a βcarbonkneelβ
What did one titration tell the other? Letβs meet at the endpoint.
How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because itβs basic material.
Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down
Why do chemistry professor like to
... keep reading on reddit β‘HI Iβm Tim the turtle, yes a real turtle. And I would like to tell you the story of my best friend. I once had a friend by the name of Sam. Sam of course was a clam. A real live honest to goodness clam. He was my best buddy, but unfortunately he smoked and drank and ran around with loose women (and a few men). I was more of the goodie two shoes type. I never drank, never smoked, I didnβt even swear. But for some reason Sam and I were the best of friends. I guess you can say we were the epitome of opposites attracting. One day as we were hanging out walking along the beach Sam, after his fifth cigarette in a row, had a heart attack and died. I was heart broken. My best friend died right there in front of me and he never repented his evil ways. I was sure he would spend eternity in damnation. Sigh. Being the goodie two shoes type I was still extremely healthy well into my old age. I missed my friend terribly for many years. On his birthday I would host a party and invite his old stripper girlfriends and poker buddies around to relive stories. It was always a fun evening, but in the end left me more lonely than before. Eventually, my broken heart couldnβt stand it anymore and I too died. I was pleased to find that there was a heaven. Being an almost saint I was whisked directly past the line to the Pearly Gates to be greeted by St. Peter. A big grin erupted on his face and he came right around his desk to give me a great big hug. βTimβ, he said, βYou have been such a good person back on earth that God has asked me to grant you any wish you would like before even entering heavenβ. To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I thought for a minute, I guess God expected me to ask for more time on earth, but I knew what I really wanted to do was to visit with my old friend Sam. So I asked. Poor St. Peter didnβt know what to say. You know Sam is in Hell right? Well I knew that was a strong possibility so I wasnβt surprised. Peter excused himself for a while and went to check with the big guy himself. He was gone quite some time, but eventually he returned. Peter said my request was approved, but under a few conditions. First, I would have to carry a golden harp as a passport back into heaven. This harp could only be carried by a good soul so I couldnβt be replaced by a look alike demon. Second, I would have to return by midnight. God didnβt want me to face too much temptation. I agreed to these conditions and took the highway down to hell. (Nope n
... keep reading on reddit β‘But Na, all the good ones Argon
Hahaha... I slapped my Neon that one! Do you wanna hear one about Potassium? No...?
K, I'll show myself out, then.
As we pass a building lit up in neon lights
Him sort of kidding: "Hey, you think that's a strip club?
Me: "I don't know about that man"
Him: "Oh. No, that's an auto body shop... Well, they are strippers"
Today, my dad told me about his friend Deon, and the many nicknames he had when he was job-switching.
Dad: He works on boats now, so we call him Freeon Deon (I didn't actually get this one.)
But before that, when he worked in the lights section of Home Depot, he was Neon Deon.
And when he was a plumber, we called him Peon Deon.
But after a while, he told me, with such a sombre and serious face, that that entire time, Deon's wife worked at one hard, thankless job to keep his spirits up.
Me: What was that Dad?
Dad: Her job... was to Be On Deon.
Sister: "I'm so, incredibly bored."
Me: "Hi, so incredibly bored, I'm NeonFlame126"
Sister: -.-
Me: :D
So we just sat down at a pizza place and my dad is wearing a neon green hoodie from working as a parking lot attendant
Waitress: well your hoodie is really bright!
Dad: thanks! I just charged it up!
