If you are on the first floor of a building, and someone one the second floor is being arrested, are you...
What happens to you if you pee on the floor?
As I got out on the 11th floor, the lift operator said, "Have a good day son."
"Don't call me son, you're not my dad.!!" I said.
As the lift door closed, he looked me in the eye and said, "I brought you up, didn't I ?"
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?
I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".
There was a mushroom on the first floor of my house.
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just quietly slide it under the refrigerator.
Soon it’ll be water under the fridge.
True Story: tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Why is there so much dirt on the forest floor?
Because nature abhors a vacuum
What lies on the ocean floor twitching uncontrollably?
Why did the painter shit on the floor?
The banana peel forgot what it was doing on the floor.
Must’ve slipped its mind.
Why did the owner of the mansion put the floors of his mansion on Tinder?
He wanted them to be swept right!
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
Climbing through my window on the first floor was easy. But if it was the second floor,
That'd be a different story all together.
Opened the electric bill and the Wife can't understand why i'm on the floor laughing.
I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor
Yes, it was the VI P room
What do you call a cow that fell on the floor
I told my friend a joke and he fell on the floor from laughter
I guess some people cant stand jokes
Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance
There is always something going wrong on the top floor of my house.
Id say its a problem-attic
Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonald’s locations on the ocean floor.
It’s called The Flounder.
My boyfriend’s cat, Jack, recently discovered the Amazon box lying on the floor. He jumped in and started playing in it. I guess you can say....
I had to use the bathroom. Couldn’t believe someone dropped a deuce right on the floor.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables
I dropped my steak on the floor
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame
I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said "see you later, son". I said indignantly, "don't call me 'son', you're not my dad!"
... To which the lift attendant replied, "Maybe not, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
My husband just dropped a bag of burgers on the floor
Then proceeded to say "well, if it wasn't ground beef before, it is now."
Yesterday, my dog peed on the floor...
As soon as I realized what the smell was, I yelled: "Aphrodite! Urine trouble!"
I checked into a motel and the clerk told me I had the second room on the second floor. He picked up the key to hand to me, but hesitated and took it back.
I said, “Well? 2B or not 2B?”
My toddler was having a massive tantrum until she found a grape on the floor. She ate it, and forgot why she was crying.
She was crying because she doesn't like grapes.
What do you call two bananas on the floor?
A father was reading a book while his son was playing with toys on the floor. “Daddy, why is that book so thick?” asks the boy.
“It’s long story,” replies the father.
Two prisoners are working in the laundry room on the top floor of the jail.
After a couple hours, the guard on duty steps away to use the bathroom.
The one prisoner says: "Quick, this is our chance to escape. We only have a few minutes so have to work together. You rip bedsheets into strips and I'll tie them into a rope, then we can climb down through the window.
The other agrees, "Got it. I sheet, you knot."
I was on the phone last night with my niece and she said what do you call someone laying on the floor.
My brother said a liar and she goes no, Matt! Very proud of her.
Did you hear about the oyster that over did it on the dance floor?
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe, which promptly lays down on the floor. The barman says, “Oi mate, you cant leave that lying there!”
The man says, “It’s not a lion it’s a giraffe”
If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, just gently kick them under the refrigerator.
Soon It’ll just be water under the fridge.
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, gently slide them under your refrigerator.
Soon, it’ll be water under the fridge.
LPT: If you accidentally drop ice cubes on the floor, quietly slip them under the refrigerator.
Soon it will be water under the fridge.
What lies on the ocean floor and shakes?
What do you call a steak that fell on the floor?
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