I think I’m in Louvre.
Eiffel.
But Eiffel off.
He was inSeine
...he now has a European Record.
In case they get a hole in one.
Eiffel
Great behinds stink alike
There's nothing left but de brie
They’re both Paris sites!
So, one of my best friend's and his wife are having their first child. My friend despises puns, so of course I send them to him all the time. So I want to start sending him baby name ideas that are all puns. They don't know the gender yet, so boy, girl, and neutral name ideas would all be great. Their last name is "Paris".
Helsinki…
...awful lot of paris sights
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter's eye. "I want a bottle of your best wine," he ordered.
"What year?" asked the waiter.
"Right now!" the husband said
Told my wife the was a serial killer in paris killing mimes, she said i diddnt hear about that, i said not many people did, he was a silent killer....
It’s a movie staring Macaulay Culkin where he gets left alone while his parents go to Paris for Christmas. It’s a real classic
...I went up to a newsstand that wasn't doing much business and asked the proprietor for a copy of Le Monde. I knew it would mean the world to him.
He met a guy the other day whose last name is "Plaster". My husband asked if he was from Paris.
They ended up with Carpool Chunnel Syndrome.
......what a great cast!!
They're both Paris-sites.
It’s a film about a boy whose family leave him behind when they go to Paris.
That tower of theirs is sure an Eiffel.
“Oh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.
The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.
At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!
“You’re hired!!” He exclaimed.
The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.
The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.
A bystander asked “who is he?”
The priest responded “I don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”
Usually it is due to lack of money
They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.
What equipment do you need to skydive over the Eiffel Tower?
A Paris Chute
Puns for Educated Minds ...
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The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
18.. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22.. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23.. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24.. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I didn't mind. I love coffee from the French Press.
you must be in-Seine!
(Just thought of this the other day and forgot to post it before. Hope it hasn’t been done before.)
you’re in Seine!
It’s held by the kid who sat behind me on American Airlines flight 86 from DFW to Paris.
How small? Some are so small they don't even have toilets.
In French, they're known as "Peed a Terre"...
Eiffel.
But Eiffel Off
They are both Paris sites
They are both Paris sites
They're both Paris sites
There was nothing left but de Brie.
They are both Paris sites.
They are both Paris sites
No difference, they're both paris sites.
They’re both Paris sites
"They're both Paris sites."
"They're both Paris sites."
