The fish swam into a wall..

Dam

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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What invention allows us to see through walls?

Windows!

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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Scientists have discovered a way to walk through walls....

Its called a door.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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I might just lean against the wall

If I may be so inclined

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geofferz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Cum on the wall..

And call it walnut

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shreecasm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Yesterday I purchased a world map and put it on the wall in the kitchen

I gave my wife a dart and said:" Throw this and, wherever it lands, i'll take you there for a holiday."

Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mac_OrchardYT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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We need to be very careful about collapsing Wall Street so we don’t get crushed by Roof Street

Posted on shower thoughts first, they told me to bring it here. I should have thought of that first. Anyways here ya go.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levainletlive
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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What happens when you break the 4th wall?

The ceiling will fall and crush you.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daani_G
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a fish say when it hits a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skib900
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.

But eventually I came around.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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The sound from a musician on stage bounces off an auditoriums walls to surround the audience, however

The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heightsenberg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, β€œDad get out of the way!”

I said, β€œYou’re the ones blocking!”

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colbosky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ranjanatharva
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Why is my stud finder constantly going off even when it isn't touching the wall?

Oh wait... I'm holding it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndisa44
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I took some money off the wall…

Now I hear my roommate saying, "Where's wall dough?"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
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BR EAK ING NE WS....'Bill Gates has agreed to pay for the finishing of Trumps Wall."

(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.

I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

πŸ‘︎ 802
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I know this is an old one, but my dad got me with this when I was a kid and I just used it on my son (he loved it): Why do they put walls around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RicoCat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.

Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levitron
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?

A flamingstop.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...

He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curioushom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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People keep telling me to stop putting up walls

So I got real defensive

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the painting say to the wall?

I’ve got you covered!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

I thought to myself, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 323
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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We should have known this year was gonna suck. We were never gonna end the year as winners. The writing was on the wall. At the end of the year, we should have known we'd be facing the truth-

2021

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/krigito
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Walmart’s onn brand of tv wall mounts.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XboxLiveGiant
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...

"Dam!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tombiepoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I stood, rubbing a piece of plywood that was leaning against the wall, waiting for someone to notice.

β€œWhat are you doing, dad?”

I sigh a long, heavy sigh.

β€œNot much, just feeling board.”

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
why did the hunter shoot the map on the wall?

He saw a Turkey

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.

The Warden said "he's a little condescending"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kiwi_Woz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What Did The Fish Say When He Ran Into A Wall?

Dam

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What did one wall say to the other wall?

I'll meet you at the corner!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Dam(n).

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaSaltVanilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsrigdic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it hit a brick wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TugBoatAugust
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall?

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spudfox64
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the wall say to the painting?

I’ve got your back!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ACommentInTheWind
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

Dam.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gawdmode69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a midget climbing down the prison wall the other day

It was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieFoxtrot432
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Dam!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/molzo92
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall today...

I thought that was a little condescending

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theguy617
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall.

Thought to myself, β€œthat’s a little condescending”.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/giacal3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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