Did you hear there was a photo store robbed recently? They caught the robber, but he says he was framed.
Dad brings home a nice framed photo. Me: Hey dad, are you going to put it up yourself?
Dad: No, I'm going to put it up on that wall
I was framed for art forgery.
I framed a picture the other day
The poor thing is now serving 20 years for murder.
If someone sneaks across a steal framed bridge...
...are they a truss-passer?
My grandad on a framed certificate I got recently
As I hand it to my nan,
Nan: oh its mounted!
Grandad: I see no horse?
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...
It's one small step for Nan....
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl..
I said “I didn’t know he could.”
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame
I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be
Why did the picture go to jail?
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.
We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.
So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
I could use help refining this one
Many of you probably know what it’s like to have part of a joke or a punchline that you can’t seem to put together into one full working joke. Here’s what I’ve got:
The film’s last frame, already used, says to the camera, “Come on, take another photo, I don’t mind.”
To which the camera replies, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to superimpose.”
It’s there but it’s not quite.
Any help?
Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
Son, do you know why was the picture sent to jail?
What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?
The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...
Real Dad Joke
I pulled this one on my adult son, who had ordered a bed, bed frame and mattress from Amazon, and was waiting for them to arrive....
Son: "I'm mad that it's taking my bed so long to arrive!"
Me: "You shouldn't take that lying down."
What did the Bowling Pin say when it was accused?
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video “shaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
Banksy seems like a trustworthy artist.
Sure he's kind of shady, a bit sketchy, but he's not trying to frame me.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it set.
My son can fix all your plumbing, bring your electrical up to code and handle any framing or carpentry you could imagine
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.
While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.
What did the picture tell the lawyer?
Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls
but they keep ending up in the gutter.
You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.
Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!
You coud say Marge's out of frame
We’re going to pick up my glasses from the optometrist
What are we doing next? We’ll see.
My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?
Why did the picture go to jail?
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