Did you hear there was a photo store robbed recently? They caught the robber, but he says he was framed.
Dad brings home a nice framed photo. Me: Hey dad, are you going to put it up yourself?
Dad: No, I'm going to put it up on that wall
I was framed for art forgery.
I framed a picture the other day
The poor thing is now serving 20 years for murder.
If someone sneaks across a steal framed bridge...
...are they a truss-passer?
My grandad on a framed certificate I got recently
As I hand it to my nan,
Nan: oh its mounted!
Grandad: I see no horse?
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
Why did the picture go to jail?
What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame
I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.
We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.
So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."
I feel bad for the picture that went to jail...
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...
Son, do you know why was the picture sent to jail?
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
Real Dad Joke
I pulled this one on my adult son, who had ordered a bed, bed frame and mattress from Amazon, and was waiting for them to arrive....
Son: "I'm mad that it's taking my bed so long to arrive!"
Me: "You shouldn't take that lying down."
Banksy seems like a trustworthy artist.
Sure he's kind of shady, a bit sketchy, but he's not trying to frame me.
What did the Bowling Pin say when it was accused?
What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?
The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it set.
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video “shaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
What did the picture tell the lawyer?
My son can fix all your plumbing, bring your electrical up to code and handle any framing or carpentry you could imagine
Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls
but they keep ending up in the gutter.
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.
While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.
We’re going to pick up my glasses from the optometrist
What are we doing next? We’ll see.
A blind man walked into a bar.
And a table. And a door frame.
How would you summarize : "A pun walked into a bar and killed ten jokes."
You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.
Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!
What can a 2d animator and a hacker from an early 2000’s movie agree on
You coud say Marge's out of frame
What is the most sexual object in the world?
A door, because it wont stop banging the frame.
A few days ago my next door neighbours glass fell out of the window frame in the living room.
They called a company who came out to replace the glass, it happened again two days later so the company came back again and replaced it.
My neighbour asked why it was happening and the company told him that it was happening a lot in the area, and that a local animal was eating the putty we use to hold the glass in.
My neighbour asked him what kind of animal could possibly do that???
He said yes it’s a cat.....
A putty cat......
Next Summer I'm applying for a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I can see myself doing.
Did you here about the photo shooting?
The convicted picture says he was framed!
Turns out that new Call of Duty brand frames are available through LensCrafters' website!
Press F to pay for specs.
I just watched an amazing documentary on aircraft frames assembly.
When I was little, we went to an outdoor lecture featuring the original cast of Star Trek. I was especially excited to see Bones. Unfortunately, we were seated toward the side of the amphitheater, where huge oaks had been planted to frame the stage.
As a result, I couldn't see DeForest through the trees
Teacher: Frame a sentence using the word 'harassment.'
Student: I'm in love with a girl and harassment a lot to me.
Optician: "Would you like to go choose some frames?"
Me: "Actually, there's a pair I've had my eye on already."
(This actually happened, and she laughed.)
Hallo! A license plate frame for you
In Frames is my favorite metal band
Reverse your diurnal/nocturnal time frames.
TIL about a college for lumberjacks. I know I'd love to know more about that.
Wooden U ?
(This post made me think of it.)
A computer will always win in bowling
I don't know anyone else that can do 60 frames per second
Wife says"The lady at the frame shop was Russian"
Why was she in such a hurry?
I always thought our next door neighbor was a good and honest photographer. Then he got arrested...
I guess we all assumed that he was "framed".
What did Mona Lisa say after she was accused of not smiling for her portrait?
Got the girlfriend while she was showing me family photo albums
Her: (While pointing to one of her cousins) "She had an unplanned pregnancy at a young age, but that's her fiancé, they've been together for a long time now."
Me: "Well it's nice to see he's still in the picture."
Not even a groan, just silence and an eye roll
My son was carrying a box full of picture frames
He said, "I pictured this being much heavier."
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Dad walked down the stairs with his arm through a dozen picture frames.
"I've been framed!" he said.
Let me know if any of these make you laugh!
- What's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth-hurty!
- How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!
- I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
- The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. Wow, it was tense!
- All my lamps are gone... and I couldn't be more de-lighted!
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
- Chemists give the best advice, they've got all the solutions.
- A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
- Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.
- I had to make these bad science jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Did any of them make you laugh? Don't tell me no pun in ten did!
Mom was in the living room hammering a nail in the wall to hang a frame...
...and she says "I think I hit a stud."
My dad yells out from the kitchen "That's funny, I didn't feel anything!"
My wife said she was going to take some photos of me.
It’s been a few hours and all of the framed photos on the walls are still here?
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
Why did mona lisa resist the arrest ?
Cuz da Vinci had framed her
My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?
Why did the picture go to jail?
Wood Motorcycle
A man once built a bike all of wood. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden motor, even wooden gas tank.
Did he ever ride it?
No, because it wooden start!
Why was the picture sent to prison?
Why did the picture go to jail?
Picture this...
Why did the picture go to jail
It was framed
Why did the picture go to jail?
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
Why was the picture sent to prison?
Why did the picture go to jail?
...because it was framed.
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
Why was the picture sent to prison?
why was the picture arrested?
To the person who stole my glasses..........
To the person who stole my glasses. I’ll find you because I have contacts.
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
A picture went to jail today,
How did the picture end up in jail.
How did the picture end up in jail?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
