My son can fix all your plumbing, bring your electrical up to code and handle any framing or carpentry you could imagine
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)
Why did the picture go to jail
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife
$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...
It's one small step for Nan....
3 ants named A, B, and C were all males. Which one floats the best?
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.
Did he ride it? No. It wooden start
What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame
I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.
We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.
So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."
Did you hear there was a photo store robbed recently? They caught the robber, but he says he was framed.
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?
Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl..
I said “I didn’t know he could.”
The life of a Family Photographer isn't for me.
Every Day I shoot people, I frame them, and hang them
Are people born with a photographic memory?
Or does it take time to develop?
TIL that Mona Lisa was once accused of murder
What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?
The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.
But she still won't admit she framed me.
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?
Apparently it was panes taking work.
Dad brings home a nice framed photo. Me: Hey dad, are you going to put it up yourself?
Dad: No, I'm going to put it up on that wall
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video “shaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
I could use help refining this one
Many of you probably know what it’s like to have part of a joke or a punchline that you can’t seem to put together into one full working joke. Here’s what I’ve got:
The film’s last frame, already used, says to the camera, “Come on, take another photo, I don’t mind.”
To which the camera replies, “Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to superimpose.”
It’s there but it’s not quite.
Any help?
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.
While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.
You coud say Marge's out of frame
You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.
Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!
Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls
but they keep ending up in the gutter.
I was framed for art forgery.
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?
A few days ago my next door neighbours glass fell out of the window frame in the living room.
They called a company who came out to replace the glass, it happened again two days later so the company came back again and replaced it.
My neighbour asked why it was happening and the company told him that it was happening a lot in the area, and that a local animal was eating the putty we use to hold the glass in.
My neighbour asked him what kind of animal could possibly do that???
He said yes it’s a cat.....
A putty cat......
Real Dad Joke
I pulled this one on my adult son, who had ordered a bed, bed frame and mattress from Amazon, and was waiting for them to arrive....
Son: "I'm mad that it's taking my bed so long to arrive!"
Me: "You shouldn't take that lying down."
My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?
Why did the picture go to jail?
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
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