My son can fix all your plumbing, bring your electrical up to code and handle any framing or carpentry you could imagine

His name is Jack

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emeri5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...

....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.

πŸ‘︎ 261
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.

Now I have salmonella.

(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eriknobeats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the picture go to jail

Because it was framed

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Fox1984
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Holiday to-do list: 1) shoot the family 2) hang the kids 3) frame the wife

$129.95 at JC Penny Portrait and Framing Studio

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sattoth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a man who a had an entirely wooden car. Wooden frame, wooden wheels, wooden engine. Did he ride it? No.

It wooden start.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeyLord_11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s got a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it? No, wooden start
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunkinbiskits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I got my grandma a new walking frame made by NASA and she's starting to get the hang of it...

It's one small step for Nan....

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
3 ants named A, B, and C were all males. Which one floats the best?

Boy-ant-C!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a selfie that’s so good you put it in a frame?

A shelfie.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kvnhntn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A woodcutter once decided to build his own motor bike. He used wood for the frame, wood for the engine, wood for the brakes, and even a wooden gas tank.

Did he ride it? No. It wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Respect the trees
πŸ‘︎ 585
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What person can shoot somebody, then frame you for being there?

A photographer

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BustyNinja69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My bed used to be on the floor but I recently bought a bed frame

I can honestly say the quality of my sleep is slightly above where it used to be

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxTURDxTACOxX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.

I have contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OliPark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The fiance and I were looking at frames for our wedding photos.

We couldn't settle between two of them. My wife couldn't take her eyes off the smaller one, but I wanted the larger one.

So, I told her, "Honey, you need to look at the bigger picture."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMartin58
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear there was a photo store robbed recently? They caught the robber, but he says he was framed.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fewlesspro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a bowler knocks down all the pins in a practice frame?

A preemptive strike.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend purchased a wooden motorcycle. Wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels. I asked if they had ridden it and they said no...

Wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonRanch1989
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl..

I said β€œI didn’t know he could.”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The life of a Family Photographer isn't for me.

Every Day I shoot people, I frame them, and hang them

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YesImThatJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL that Mona Lisa was once accused of murder

Turns out she was framed

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a useless Scottish girl and a giggling auto frame?

The first is a chaffy lassie. The other is a laughy chassis.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomato_soup_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...

Stop making that racket.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.

Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who was stealing people's window panes?

Apparently it was panes taking work.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad brings home a nice framed photo. Me: Hey dad, are you going to put it up yourself?

Dad: No, I'm going to put it up on that wall

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prasaadii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
******The Hunchshaq of Notre Dame***** (Frame from the YouTube video β€œshaq eats a hot wing content aware scale”)
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeclanKav18
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I could use help refining this one

Many of you probably know what it’s like to have part of a joke or a punchline that you can’t seem to put together into one full working joke. Here’s what I’ve got:

The film’s last frame, already used, says to the camera, β€œCome on, take another photo, I don’t mind.”

To which the camera replies, β€œAre you sure? I wouldn’t want to superimpose.”

It’s there but it’s not quite. Any help?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewZabar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes it is better to just walk away from things and go back to them later when you’re in a better frame of mind.

While it's true, that's how I lost my job as a surgeon.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
You coud say Marge's out of frame
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFense
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
🚨︎ report
You’re the world’s greatest dad although my frame of reference is pretty limited.

Happy Father’s Day fellow dads!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jangooni
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls

but they keep ending up in the gutter.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I was framed for art forgery.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.

The frame was remarkable

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?

I was FRAMED!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperMcG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A few days ago my next door neighbours glass fell out of the window frame in the living room.

They called a company who came out to replace the glass, it happened again two days later so the company came back again and replaced it. My neighbour asked why it was happening and the company told him that it was happening a lot in the area, and that a local animal was eating the putty we use to hold the glass in. My neighbour asked him what kind of animal could possibly do that??? He said yes it’s a cat..... A putty cat......

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Funkcanna
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Real Dad Joke

I pulled this one on my adult son, who had ordered a bed, bed frame and mattress from Amazon, and was waiting for them to arrive....

Son: "I'm mad that it's taking my bed so long to arrive!"

Me: "You shouldn't take that lying down."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paul99501
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Mona Lisa was framed.

Then they hung her.

πŸ‘︎ 206
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πŸ‘€︎ u/profedon
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad’s motorbike has a wooden frame, wooden engine, wooden wheels, and a wooden gas tank. Did he ride it?

Nope, it wooden start

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....

Turns out, she was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Mona Lisa was framed!

Then they hung her!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/profedon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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