Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Everything’s great in your digestive system

Until it hits your stomach then it all turns to shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thechosenone6969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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I just read a book about the digestive system.

The ending was shit.....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eyetalianman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
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The digestive system didn’t want to run into his ex wife at his sons wedding...

He couldn’t stomach her

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flaccid_Emu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
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Food contamination warning!

Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prawncracker92
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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The Semi colon is an important part of what?

The Semi-truck’s digestive system

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ds4ad0w
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Probiotics are a critical part of your diet

The health of your digestive system is too important to leave up to amateur biotics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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A couple of puns I made up for my dad

Me: Why is Eurovision going to look so good on TV this year?

Dad: Why?

Me: Because it’s 2020


Me: Plumbing is like the digestive system of a house, and turning on the taps is like it going pee.

Dad: Okay?

Me: Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Am-the-Cold
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Am I the asshole in this situation?

So a bit of background here, I am fully dependent on my carer. Where he goes, I go. What he eats, I have to eat too. And because of that, if he wants to eat the wrong thing, I suffer.

I have no control over what he feeds us and I can't always tolerate the foods he likes. If he eats food that is too spicy, I yell at him. Like a lot. I've even made him cry a few times. But the thing is, I can't control myself. Every time I talk, it is shit for everyone in my vicinity, especially him. That's why I need him as a carer. I really tried to not give him shit for a couple weeks by not talking at all but he thought it was so bad that I did that he took me to the doctor to force me to keep giving out instead of bottling it all up.

I don't know what to do. I'm literally the end point of his digestive system. Am I the asshole?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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