Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
Dr: We had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon
Doctor: I’m afraid we’re going to have to remove your colon.
I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer
Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer
Doctor to patient do you smoke?
Patient: yes.
Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
Allow me to colonize this place
:
It's been done, thank you, have a great day. :)
Or the colon had a great idea
I cannot get on board with colonizing Venus
I don't work well under pressure nor do I like toxic work environment.
The Semi colon is an important part of what?
The Semi-truck’s digestive system
The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...
It just wanted a little comma-raderie.
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
If you repeat a colon in Australia,
would that give you a colon oz copy?
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...
[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)
Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...
World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today
They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same, are missing the point.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
They found tumors in my colon.
TIL colons can change the meaning of a sentence drastically: "Jane ate her friend's lunch." would become:
"Jane ate her friend's colon."
I had part of my colon removed
I told my dad I joke I came across on Reddit-. Doctor: We're going to have to remove your colon. Me Why? He responded with:
As long. as it doesn't. give. you irregular. periods.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
A colon got a promotion at work.
They call him the ascending colon.
Why are all ants English?
because they like to colonize.
Dr. Is recommending I get part of my colon removed...
I am just worried about becoming a semi colon
If we ever start colonizing other planets, I propose that we rename the Internet to the PlaNet.
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
r/funny sent me here... My dad had surgery this morning to remove a cancerous section of his colon. He's still got his sense of humor. (X-post from r/funny)
imgur.com/ZlOIj9q
I went to the toilet
You can see that I didn't do a period, not very good at my poonctuation
Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon
Doctor: I'm afraid we've had to remove your colon
Doctor: I’m sorry but I had to remove a section of your colon.
Doctor: I had to take your colon.
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
Doctor: we had to remove your colon
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a good time.
My doctor had to remove half my colon
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