If it comes down to a choice of superman...

I'll take the soup.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
So I peed on my college application and submitted it to get into my choice college. Guess what they told me?

Urine

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flapawangatang
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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"A poor choice of words"
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Liddle_b
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is water such a trusted beverage choice?

Everything about it is so transparent

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_fiveMoreMinutes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
If given the choice of which part of your face to insert a finger,

Would you pick your nose?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Coca-Cola is my beverage of choice when I eat lunch

Its very good in that soda occasion

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/01134inthere
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
If you had a choice of eating your lunch outside or watching the Nickelodeon network, what would you do?

I’d Pick Nick.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Middle age is when you have the choice of two temptations....

.....and you pick the one that will get you home earlier.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm on a plane and the lunch choices are: white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I'm seated in the last row.

I'm hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Can't wait for this travel ban to lift. Prague would be my number one choice..

.. Dying to Czech it out

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
If you had your choice of having lunch with anyone ever, dead or alive who would you pick?

I would pick someone alive.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yello5drink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Very poor choice of words!
πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsplasmaplayz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
College offers some questionable class choices, but o you know which one is the most sketchy?

Art class: Pencil Drawing 101

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The choice is clear!
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/originalripley
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
He knew he'd be pun-ished for his choice. http://explosm.net/comics/3853/
πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtDansBedPan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?" Son: "What are my choices?"

Dad: "'Yes' or 'no'."

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a transitioning male's drink of choice?

An Estro-Gin and Tonic

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I had no choice in my birth.

I'm Mandy Tory.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13toycar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The family wasn't thrilled with my cheese choices.

Queso?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osirisrebel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When buying an exotic flower for your lover there are two choices. Use contraception…

Orchid

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What Donald Ducks drug of choice?

Quack cocain

πŸ‘︎ 326
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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I decided to leave my strict, religious Pennsylvanian community to raise ducks. When I told my father, he said "Son, you have a choice"

You can either be a Quaker, or a Quacker.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fischerkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Your choice.

https://preview.redd.it/stxqmp0ekx041.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=eef8f9c19b964d08d979a65a1c1d15a40f45efc3

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?

Q: What's Your Open Source OS Of Choice?

A: Darwin.

Q: Why?

A: It's the evolution of Unix.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gandalf239
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do people go to find their feline of choice

A CATalog!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yungWilly2004
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
🚨︎ report
When given the choice between two ways to get to the roof, I always choose the ladder.
πŸ‘︎ 382
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ande4100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend asked me why I read so much Tolkien. I said it wasn't really a choice, rather...

...I did it Hobbitually.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbernipple
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Being a vegan is a poor choice.

In fact it's a long series of missed steaks!

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.

He calls it Nyetflix

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conmiz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The hardest choices require the strongest Wills
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romantheperogi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I really have a thing for dumb girls. Just met one who can't fill out multiple choices surveys

She ticks all the boxes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bermobaron
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Hitler like multiple choice exams?

The answer was often not C.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery, my anesthesiologist gave me the choice of being knocked out by gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When do strippers make bad life choices?

When they take a pole.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orion808
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Ted's wife was a horrible cook. She served mashed potatoes that were so runny, that his whole plate resembled soup. Even though she insisted that she drained the pasta, her spaghetti was so watery that the sauce ran off the plate. Ted had no choice...

...he was forced to take out a restraining order.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the breakfast of choice for readers of /r/dadjokes?

Groanola

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simtel12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If given a choice of eating a sandwich in the park or watching the Nickelodeon Network all day, what would you do?

I would pick Nick.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a ducks drug of choice?

Quack cocaine

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spiderbear64
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report

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