Why did the president-elect wait so long before deciding to run for president?

He was just Biden his time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xd1936
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphins elect a dictator?

Because they wanted to serve a greater porpoise

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FknRepunsel
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If Canada's leader elect had dwarfism...

Would we call them the Prime Miniture?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kanielahonu
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Ring...ring...
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected president.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Election results

Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/r0n0j0y
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??

An Optical Aleutian

I’ll see myself out...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/International_Sea285
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the opposite of a croissant?

A happy uncle.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...

But that's just my own To Pence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wasn’t Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope

Because they didn’t want a Pope Sicola

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How about Trump puns before the election? youtube.com/watch?v=_j5S9…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/3s2ng
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week

Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/justin_true_10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why there are less female voters in 2020 elections? Because of....

Male in ballots

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bonp27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My election has lasted more than three days.

Do I need to see my doctor?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bogoboy99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do news pundits care so much about who the people of Poland think will win the election?

I came up with this one today but I'm sure it's been done before. My wife said it's lame. What do you say?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuchSalad4
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
This election is taking a while.

I guess the people in Nevada are really Biden their time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ursuscornu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...

I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election

All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election

But a lot less Gore-y

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did it take Joe so long to win the election?

He was Biden his time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrBoon_forgot_his_pw
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
They were never going to let my president win this election

But I'm not mad. He'll drop an album or two and Kanye will be back in 4 years.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SarcasmJedi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
It occurs to me at this stage the election has become sexist.

All I see are male in ballots.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NinjaRage83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?

He replied "Chai, nah".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joker-here
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.

There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotchyCookiez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power

That’s a lot of wasted votes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When it comes to winning elections...

Either Biden your time or be Trumped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How are the US people going to bid adieu to Trump after election?

Bye then

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bonp27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.

I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC

There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/40ozT0Freedom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Biden will NEVER, EVER be my president

because I live in Canada.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 165
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I-Only-Lurk-SRD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know who will win the election. But I know who will lose

The people

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the stripper show up at the Board of Elections?

She heard they were looking for poll workers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you milk a sheep?

You say an election was fraudulent and ask for donations.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Set-Life-Medic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....

Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.