Why did the president-elect wait so long before deciding to run for president?

He was just Biden his time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xd1936
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphins elect a dictator?

Because they wanted to serve a greater porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FknRepunsel
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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If Canada's leader elect had dwarfism...

Would we call them the Prime Miniture?

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kanielahonu
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
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Ring...ring...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected president.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Election results

Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r0n0j0y
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??

An Optical Aleutian

I’ll see myself out...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What is the opposite of a croissant?

A happy uncle.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...

But that's just my own To Pence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danielaurence
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.

I saw it coming from a kilometer away.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why wasn’t Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope

Because they didn’t want a Pope Sicola

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How about Trump puns before the election? youtube.com/watch?v=_j5S9…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3s2ng
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week

Well it’s not a law it’s a mandate

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justin_true_10
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.

He just can't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaOne211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why there are less female voters in 2020 elections? Because of....

Male in ballots

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?

Electile dysfunction

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My election has lasted more than three days.

Do I need to see my doctor?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bogoboy99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do news pundits care so much about who the people of Poland think will win the election?

I came up with this one today but I'm sure it's been done before. My wife said it's lame. What do you say?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuchSalad4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.

Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
🚨︎ report
This election is taking a while.

I guess the people in Nevada are really Biden their time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ursuscornu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...

I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election

All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election

But a lot less Gore-y

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heybuddy313
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did it take Joe so long to win the election?

He was Biden his time

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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They were never going to let my president win this election

But I'm not mad. He'll drop an album or two and Kanye will be back in 4 years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SarcasmJedi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
It occurs to me at this stage the election has become sexist.

All I see are male in ballots.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NinjaRage83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?

He replied "Chai, nah".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker-here
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.

There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotchyCookiez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.

He’s acting like a real Mitch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power

That’s a lot of wasted votes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When it comes to winning elections...

Either Biden your time or be Trumped.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My cheap noble challenged the election results.

It was a discount viscount recount.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShiftyMcShift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How are the US people going to bid adieu to Trump after election?

Bye then

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonp27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.

I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickShaw530
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...

He's just Biden his time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC

There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/40ozT0Freedom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
Biden will NEVER, EVER be my president

because I live in Canada.

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Only-Lurk-SRD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know who will win the election. But I know who will lose

The people

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the stripper show up at the Board of Elections?

She heard they were looking for poll workers.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you milk a sheep?

You say an election was fraudulent and ask for donations.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Set-Life-Medic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....

Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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