Why did the president-elect wait so long before deciding to run for president?
He was just Biden his time
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Why did the dolphins elect a dictator?
Because they wanted to serve a greater porpoise
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︎ May 11 2020
If Canada's leader elect had dwarfism...
Would we call them the Prime Miniture?
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︎ May 17 2015
Ring...ring...
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︎ Dec 19 2020
In Sweden the CEO of IKEA was just elected president.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Election results
Looks like a lot of people in Georgia will be laughing their Ossoff
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︎ Jan 06 2021
What do you call a native Alaskan eye doctor??
An Optical Aleutian
Iβll see myself out...
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︎ Dec 01 2020
What is the opposite of a croissant?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...
But that's just my own To Pence.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American.
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Why wasnβt Cardinal Sicola ever elected as pope
Because they didnβt want a Pope Sicola
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︎ Dec 14 2020
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︎ Oct 31 2020
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well itβs not a law itβs a mandate
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︎ Nov 20 2020
A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb.
He just can't part with it.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Why there are less female voters in 2020 elections? Because of....
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︎ Nov 06 2020
What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?
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︎ Nov 04 2020
My election has lasted more than three days.
Do I need to see my doctor?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
Why do news pundits care so much about who the people of Poland think will win the election?
I came up with this one today but I'm sure it's been done before. My wife said it's lame. What do you say?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
The best part about being Russian, is getting to vote in American elections.
Which is nice, because we never get to vote in our own.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
This election is taking a while.
I guess the people in Nevada are really Biden their time.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...
I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Joe sure is patient when it comes to waiting for the results of the election
All I hear is Joe Biden his time till the results are finalized!
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︎ Nov 05 2020
This 2020 Presidential election reminds me of the 2000 Election
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Why did it take Joe so long to win the election?
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︎ Nov 10 2020
They were never going to let my president win this election
But I'm not mad. He'll drop an album or two and Kanye will be back in 4 years.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
It occurs to me at this stage the election has become sexist.
All I see are male in ballots.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
I made up a joke so get ready to hate on me. Trump (I know it's topical).... Trump was nervous during the election and was asked "hey, do you want some spiced tea"?
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︎ Nov 03 2020
Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.
There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum
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︎ Nov 06 2020
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power
Thatβs a lot of wasted votes
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︎ Oct 21 2020
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
The Senate majority leader refuses to acknowledge the election results.
Heβs acting like a real Mitch.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
How are the US people going to bid adieu to Trump after election?
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︎ Nov 05 2020
My cheap noble challenged the election results.
It was a discount viscount recount.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
When it comes to winning elections...
Either Biden your time or be Trumped.
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︎ Nov 03 2020
He might have lost this election but he will probably run again in 4 years...
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︎ Oct 29 2020
There is a HUGE snowstorm today in Washington, DC
There are thousands of snowflakes gathering in DC, crying because they lost the election and they can't con their way to victory.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
Biden will NEVER, EVER be my president
because I live in Canada.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Why did the stripper show up at the Board of Elections?
She heard they were looking for poll workers.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
How do you milk a sheep?
You say an election was fraudulent and ask for donations.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
It's important to lose closely at lawn signs during election campaigns....
Last time I cast my vote for a real estate agent.
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︎ Sep 25 2020
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