How do you avoid incoming attacks in videogames?

You take advantage of dodgy programming...

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriedwaldLeben
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 05 2021
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Offensive jokes incoming
πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/destructive_peae
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2019
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A Bad joke incoming that a friend told me

Why cant we find good steak? -They are indeed very rare (I apologise)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAuthor_1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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Bad pun incoming
πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/b_vr10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2019
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Dad joke incoming
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nibble_My_Nabla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
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Why do innocent bakeries get mad by unwanted incoming calls?

Because they are on the doughnut call list

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2019
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What do you say to your gamer friends about the incoming girlfriend call ?

Aah, call of beauty guys.

*Roger *

*Roger that *

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2018
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I was in my backyard in the hot tub last night enjoying the views of the incoming lightning storm not thinking of the danger.

And then it struck me....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2018
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Can I claim an Eastern European exchange student as a dependent to reduce my income below the phaseout threshold?

I’m hoping to get a stimulus Czech.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CombatCarlsHand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2021
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What does a pornstar get paid?

They get paid income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rthen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 30 2021
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My sister's family lost their only income when his husband got fired from his job making shoes, baguettes and sausages.

He was their sole bread wiener.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2020
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Accountant: what is your gross income?

My dad: there's no need to insult my income like that.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/memes_in_mah_veins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
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Tax season dad joke: How do pimps manage to maximize their tax refunds?

By reporting all their earnings as Gross Income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2021
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Making church offerings is dangerous for your wallet

Paying tithing just decimates your income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chaosTechnician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
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My daughter wants a horse...

But first we need a stable income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?

Income-plete.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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I became a professional fisherman...

But discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
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If a country’s main source of income is through horse sales...

...does that mean it has a stable economy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bountybreaker15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
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Why does being a prostitute bring in an inconsistent income?

Because business only comes and goes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2019
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Someone told me their pre-tax income.

It was gross.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinn3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2019
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Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.

Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chexmp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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Every year Santa delivers presents to the kids....

....based on what their parents income is.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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The most underrated part of being a cowboy...

...is having a stable income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2020
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Some punny jobs

WORKING ON A JOB

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned I just couldn’t concentrate. . Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. . After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow. . Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting. . I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. . I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard. . My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy. . I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience. . Next was a job in a shoe factory; but it just wasn’t the right fit. . I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income. . I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell. . I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. . After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it. . My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TTMOfficial
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2020
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Unexpected outcome
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Victor1113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2019
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Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 898
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2018
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Just found out how I’ll be paying my income tax in my new job as an undertaker.

It’ll be pay as you urn.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/littleboypunder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2018
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What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

FeyoncΓ©

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kaulmejitesh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2018
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A factory worker got his arm caught in some machinery, severing it just below the wrist. Unable to work, and with no income, he knew he had to see a prosthetic specialist as soon as possible.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/janus10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2018
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I always wanted to follow my dear Dad as a commercial fisherman..

But his Net income always put me off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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I just bought an AirBnB for horses.

I hope it brings me a stable income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Boiler50
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 18 2020
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What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nnntridib
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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Safety ratings

I work security at a large lab. We have a safety rating of green/yellow/red that we need to ask incoming workers. This occurred today when my co-worker greeted an incoming employee.

Co-worker: β€œHello. What kind of work are you doing today? Green, yellow, or red work?”

Employee: β€œI’m just going to my office to water my plants.”

Me: β€œThat’s definitely green work.”

Co-worker: β€œDid you have to?”

Me: β€œSorry. That joke was low hanging fruit.”

Co-worker: β€œReally?”

Me: β€œGuess I’m stacking them up like cord wood today.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/II_Confused
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2020
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[request] puns involving spears?

I'm an incoming freshman for FSU and at my high school, they have the seniors decorate a wall with their name, the logo of the college they're attending, and a little phrase. Making jokes about native americans is a little distasteful, soooo I'm looking for some quality spear puns.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/that-broken-chair
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 23 2018
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Friend of mine posted this on Facebook

Working with dad today : Dad : 'here's sone earplugs mate. You're only getting two .'

Me: 'thats fine I only have two ears '

Dad :' not everyone has two ears you know , some people have three '

Me : ' like who ? '

Dad :' well captain kirk had one left ear , one right ear , and a final frontier '

And my disappointed face leads him into hysterics haha .

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xecuter88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2014
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Why did the Vice-president of the ants need two jobs?

Because he's the second income ant

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NeoMarethyu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2019
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Why did the horsekeeper stay at his job?

Stable income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Klystron98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2018
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My dad got me with this one.

I was talking to my dad about Africa, and I jokingly said that they should have some casinos to generate income.

Dad: They can't have any casinos that would stay in business.

Me: Why?

Dad: Because of all the cheetahs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maitlandius
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2014
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Who makes more money, the fisherman or the lawnmower?

The lawnmower, he gets grass income while the fisherman gets net income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/warmachine237
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2018
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Every year Santa delivers presents to kids....

.....based on what their parents income is.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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I dreamed of becoming a professional fisherman

But I found out that I couldn't live on my net income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TehFuriousKid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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I used to be a professional fisherman

Then discovered I couldn't live on my net income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyOpinionDontMatter9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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How are Pornstars paid?

Income

πŸ‘οΈŽ 231
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bmiller62
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2017
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