Today I learned my son hates r/DadJokes. He's been spat on, punched, and verbally abused for his own opinion...
I don't even want to imagine what'll happen when he leaves the house.
What is an opinion without 3.14?
You should always listen to a midget's opinion
If you want an unbiased opinion ask a blind person
They blind test everything
My wife tells me that I need to have opinions
Made my girlfriend laugh at first, then make a pained sound when she got it. 10/10 dad joke in my opinion. /r/Jokes/comments/fu5vmq/…
People will respect you personal opinion more if you pronounce it poissonal opinion
In my opinion, claustrophobics are the most creative.
They always think out of the box.
My friend used to say this all the time when someone disagreed with an opinion of his. Not sure if it’s appropriate for this sub, but it still makes me laugh when used today.
“Well, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who are, and those who are not, my uncle.”
In my opinion, people should wear different deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
Opinion: Dad jokes shouldn't be painful.
Except for the punchline.
My opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?
I think it has a sharp design.
What’s an opinion without 3.14?
I have very strong opinions about leather shoes, and i will not be suede
Why doesn't Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?
Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic
Which Denver Broncos' player's opinions are the least controversial?
Public opinion was favorable for local farmer banning outsiders access to hills filled with mushroom on his land.
He had the morel high ground.
eating a clock is very time consuming in my opinion
In my opinion, the best people focus on themselves.
For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...
I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"
My psychologist told me I'm crazy so I asked for a 2nd opinion
He said, "Okay, you're ugly too ".
My friend asked me my opinion on the National Debt...
I said it is big enough to take care of itself.
What is your opinion of feather pillows?
I just took 3.142 out of an opinion
I don't really care about Mr. Cone's opinion
But I think he has a solid point
Don't know what's your opinion about that, but being immune from dangerous diseases..
You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?
For a second i thought he actually had an opinion...
Im not supposed to give my own opinion, but
Cakes are batter than cookies
This a cheesy joke in my opinion
I’m torn on my opinion of masturbation
I mean, on one hand it feels good....
In my opinion, if we’re gonna fight the war on terror, a good place to start would be our country’s haunted houses.
I would want a second opinion.
When people ask my opinion on butter popcorn
Someone asked me "What's your opinion on wind turbines?"
What are your opinions on the two organs that are attatched to the arms?
I think they're quite handy.
This was a worthy pun in my opinion
My psychiatrist told me he thinks I'm crazy. I told him I wanted a second opinion.
He said "Alright, you're pretty ugly too."
Why should you not ask a horse for it's opinion?
Because they are a bunch of neighsayers.
People say that I'm bad guy because I ask them for money in exchange for politically incorrect opinions...
People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.
How are opinions like assholes?
Everybody has one, and everyone else's stinks.
In my opinion, Orion's Belt...
...is just a waist of space.
What is your opinion on the Mongol Invasions?
I don't know, there were a lot of pros and Khans.
Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!
So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:
“Seaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks”
“Thanks, but No Tanks”
Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:
What are refrigerator’s opinions about stoves?
My friend asked me about my opinion on euthanasia
I said I don’t know, I’ve never met any
An Australian gave his opinion on loam.
He reckoned it was top soil.
I asked my girlfriend what her opinion was on Pete Townshend's guitar playing skills.
She replied "Literally who?"
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion
My doctor said I had cancer. I said I wanted a second opinion.
He said "Okay, you're ugly too."
My son's joke, wants honest opinions on it
What do you get after you eat all the potatoes?
(He starts laughing so hard before he can say the punch line)
ALL the potatoes are gone.
My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.
I was just along for the rides.
Sometimes I do a complete 360 in my opinion...
...and don't change my mind at all.
Just had a telephone call from a researcher asking for my opinion on wind turbines.
In my opinion more people should write more jokes about frisbee's
For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
Donald Trump doesn't like Mexicans, and I'm terrible with timed writing prompts. I guess we have similar opinions...
MIT's Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files. That's really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
Why doesn't anyone respect the cow's opinion?
Because their point is moo.
Dead Cells - Opinions on my (French) Graphic Artist's sense of humour please.
A woman goes to the hospital after a car accident. After a few x-rays a doctor sits down with her and says: "I'm sorry ma'am, it appears you have a broken arm."
Obviously flustered the woman exclaims: "I want a second opinion!"
The doctor thinks for a moment and then replies: "okay, you're ugly"
Dadjoked by a legal opinion
From a trademark case filed by Zatarain's (the jambalaya guys) regarding competitor's "Chicken Fry" and "Fish Fry". Zatarain's lost at the district level and appealed.
"Battered, but not fried, Zatarain's appeals from the adverse judgment on several grounds."
I audibly groaned.
My Dads opinion on traffic
My sister was slowing down and causing a backup while she was learning to drive. He got impatient with her and said
"THIS ISN'T A DEMOCRACY, YOU CAN'T VOTE TO SLOW DOWN."
Time to get a new pair of pants once they develop an opinion.
Sorry, I mean an ass hole.