Today I learned my son hates r/DadJokes. He's been spat on, punched, and verbally abused for his own opinion...

I don't even want to imagine what'll happen when he leaves the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuckDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
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What is an opinion without 3.14?

An onion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikoklis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
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You should always listen to a midget's opinion

They know what's up

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πŸ“…︎ May 18
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Opinion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolcrafter135
πŸ“…︎ May 30
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If you want an unbiased opinion ask a blind person

They blind test everything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacksonrr3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
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My wife tells me that I need to have opinions

I agree

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
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Made my girlfriend laugh at first, then make a pained sound when she got it. 10/10 dad joke in my opinion. /r/Jokes/comments/fu5vmq/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordPirateDuck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
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People will respect you personal opinion more if you pronounce it poissonal opinion

It sound more ofishal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jethvader
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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In my opinion, claustrophobics are the most creative.

They always think out of the box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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My friend used to say this all the time when someone disagreed with an opinion of his. Not sure if it’s appropriate for this sub, but it still makes me laugh when used today.

β€œWell, there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who are, and those who are not, my uncle.”

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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In my opinion, people should wear different deodorants, one under each armpit.

But that’s just my two scents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Opinion: Dad jokes shouldn't be painful.

Except for the punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Moths
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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My opinion on the new Tesla Cybertruck?

I think it has a sharp design.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/May-Flower-9211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What’s an opinion without 3.14?

An onion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blimpymcblimpface
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Opinion - 3.14 = Onion

Opinion - 3.14 = Onion

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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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I have very strong opinions about leather shoes, and i will not be suede
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drakansoul
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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Why doesn't Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?

Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pricklydoughball
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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Which Denver Broncos' player's opinions are the least controversial?

Noah Fant's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mightierthor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Public opinion was favorable for local farmer banning outsiders access to hills filled with mushroom on his land.

He had the morel high ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iuntti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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In my opinion

being a straw sucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bello701
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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eating a clock is very time consuming in my opinion
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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In my opinion, the best people focus on themselves.

There's no comparison.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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For Halloween, one of my sons dressed up as the clown from IT, and another son as a Twitter hashtag. They asked me my opinion...

I said "Penny wise, pound foolish"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/voip_geek
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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My psychologist told me I'm crazy so I asked for a 2nd opinion

He said, "Okay, you're ugly too ".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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My friend asked me my opinion on the National Debt...

I said it is big enough to take care of itself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptnKarisma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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What is your opinion of feather pillows?

I’m down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KIrvine77
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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I just took 3.142 out of an opinion

Now it's just an onion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toxic254
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
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I don't really care about Mr. Cone's opinion

But I think he has a solid point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealComradeMeep
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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Don't know what's your opinion about that, but being immune from dangerous diseases..

..is worth a shot.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?

It sucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dexemplu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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My opinion of AskReddit

It seems questionable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotJesper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
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For a second i thought he actually had an opinion...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KrootzyTV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Im not supposed to give my own opinion, but

Cakes are batter than cookies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thymear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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This a cheesy joke in my opinion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niko5253
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
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I’m torn on my opinion of masturbation

I mean, on one hand it feels good....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onisarcade
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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In my opinion, if we’re gonna fight the war on terror, a good place to start would be our country’s haunted houses.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Clock_King
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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I would want a second opinion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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When people ask my opinion on butter popcorn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toofgib
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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Someone asked me "What's your opinion on wind turbines?"

"Big fan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBennett_29
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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What are your opinions on the two organs that are attatched to the arms?

I think they're quite handy.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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This was a worthy pun in my opinion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/guntaas-memes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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My psychiatrist told me he thinks I'm crazy. I told him I wanted a second opinion.

He said "Alright, you're pretty ugly too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmcoy97
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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Why should you not ask a horse for it's opinion?

Because they are a bunch of neighsayers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Driconian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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People say that I'm bad guy because I ask them for money in exchange for politically incorrect opinions...

I beg to differ...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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People think that I'm stupid because I ask them for money in exchange of politically incorrect opinions.

Well, I beg to differ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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How are opinions like assholes?

Everybody has one, and everyone else's stinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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In my opinion, Orion's Belt...

...is just a waist of space.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pb609
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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What is your opinion on the Mongol Invasions?

I don't know, there were a lot of pros and Khans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TilahtamalianKing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Update on pun request for Orcas, Opinions needed!

So I’ve been writing a paper about how Seaworld should not be keeping their orcas in captivity. Should the title be:

β€œSeaworld’s Porpoise; Where Happiness Tanks” or β€œThanks, but No Tanks”

Feel free to help me come up with some variation if you don’t like either. (:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gutsandhoney
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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What are refrigerator’s opinions about stoves?

There’s a range.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeebyBeejees
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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My friend asked me about my opinion on euthanasia

I said I don’t know, I’ve never met any

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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An Australian gave his opinion on loam.

He reckoned it was top soil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Box_of_fox_eggs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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I asked my girlfriend what her opinion was on Pete Townshend's guitar playing skills.

She replied "Literally who?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghdust2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
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An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sirmonkey95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2014
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My doctor said I had cancer. I said I wanted a second opinion.

He said "Okay, you're ugly too."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesus_riced
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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Best genre in my opinion. imgur.com/gallery/RqpPVyX
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shambles299
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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My son's joke, wants honest opinions on it

What do you get after you eat all the potatoes?

(He starts laughing so hard before he can say the punch line)

ALL the potatoes are gone.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
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My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.

I was just along for the rides.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBuccaneer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2017
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Sometimes I do a complete 360 in my opinion...

...and don't change my mind at all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustJosh724
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Just had a telephone call from a researcher asking for my opinion on wind turbines.

"Big fan", I replied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gazcobain
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2016
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In my opinion more people should write more jokes about frisbee's

Discus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterjonestv
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
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For having such strong opinions on border security, Donald Trump sure can cross the line.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arthurktripp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2015
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Donald Trump doesn't like Mexicans, and I'm terrible with timed writing prompts. I guess we have similar opinions...

We both hate ese's.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingBalisong
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2016
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MIT's Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files. That's really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/markjamesyork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2016
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Why doesn't anyone respect the cow's opinion?

Because their point is moo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raskulous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2016
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Dead Cells - Opinions on my (French) Graphic Artist's sense of humour please.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motionTwin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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2nd Opinion

A woman goes to the hospital after a car accident. After a few x-rays a doctor sits down with her and says: "I'm sorry ma'am, it appears you have a broken arm."

Obviously flustered the woman exclaims: "I want a second opinion!"

The doctor thinks for a moment and then replies: "okay, you're ugly"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevenaaron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2013
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Dadjoked by a legal opinion

From a trademark case filed by Zatarain's (the jambalaya guys) regarding competitor's "Chicken Fry" and "Fish Fry". Zatarain's lost at the district level and appealed.

"Battered, but not fried, Zatarain's appeals from the adverse judgment on several grounds."

I audibly groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meathappening
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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My Dads opinion on traffic

My sister was slowing down and causing a backup while she was learning to drive. He got impatient with her and said

"THIS ISN'T A DEMOCRACY, YOU CAN'T VOTE TO SLOW DOWN."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dnar_Semaj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2013
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Time to get a new pair of pants once they develop an opinion.

Sorry, I mean an ass hole.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NinjaEnt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2013
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An opinion without 3.14

is an onion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dank_m33m
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
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