A list of puns related to "Polls"
.....and 100% of strippers were furious they had nothing to dance on.
The result was divided.
Turns out 100% of people get angry when their tents fall down.
Let that sink in…
They all hate stakes.
99% of people were annoyed when their tent fell down.
And found that 100% of people were upset when the tent collapsed.
Everyone was pretty upset when the whole tent collapsed.
Swing voters.
It was Hughnanimous.
"I don't know, I thought he was more into Czechs."
(They are both older guys the clerk was talking about his hair going away)
The judge said "Your hair is looking a little wavy... one side is waving goodbye to the other"
So the old man approaches the polling official and ask if his wife already voted. They ask for her full name and sure enough, she had already voted. He said Oh darn! She died 6 years ago but she keeps voting on every election and I was hoping to see her once again.
The police told them to get up, vote and leave.
She heard they were looking for poll workers.
They're both poll workers.
Me: “One”
(He was interested in thumb, or index finger. Apparently he had a write-in for pinky. Weird)
Sure, I know they’re disgusting little bugs. But I started taking pity on the little guys after they only came in second in this poll of people’s favorite animals.
The winner, of course, was the goldfish.
They take a poll...
So says the most recent Gallop Poll.
They take a poll.
Gallop Polls
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit ➡They say he's ahead in the polls.
That's the findings of the latest gallop poll
Poll dance...
it was the Poll of Poles on the pole poles.
Deez Nuts Polling Ahead in the 2016 Presidential Election!
http://duxnews.com/2016/11/08/election-2016-deez-nuts-polling-ahead/
IDK if this has already been said by someone else, but I heard it from my dad first.
We always took long road trips for vacation and every once in a while my old man would see an ice cream place and ask us kids "Who wants ice cream?"
We of course would say we wanted some in which he almost always replied "Ok, just taking a poll". 9/10 we wouldn't get ice cream, he was just messing with us.
I studied the Gallup Polls
Who is the most desirable man on Earth? According to a poll of women, it is Mr. Potato Head. He is cute, tan, and if he makes you mad you can rearrange his face.
Let that sink in.
100% of the people were angry that the tent collapsed on them
They say he's ahead in the polls.
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