My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
You hear about the scarecrow who won a major award?
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, “Don’t. There’s no future in it.”
Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.
You should get a miner instead.
How do you get an art history major off your front porch ?
A big light switch is a major turn-on
so anyway im switching my major to marketing...
just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud
I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.
My grades are below C-level
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.”
..Then you can witness The Fall of Rome.
Do math majors get degrees.....
Parents:Your brother wanna major in chemistry. Me: BrO
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
I was thinking of changing my major to Physics
Then I can go ahead and be a physician.
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece
I hope Elon Musk never gets caught up in a major scandal
I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....
Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tries to Log a Rhythm.
My buddy just told me he needs major surgery: he's having half his intestine removed.
(excuse my grammar that should be a semi-colon)
Did you know that, while alive, Mozart composed symphonies in almost every major key?
Sadly, in death, he was relegated only to D-composition.
My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough
Now he can hear the voices too !
Why don’t calculus majors party?
Because they can not drink and derive
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
The culprit is a major D.
Do you know what is the major reason of dry skin?
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs
It was a completely miss-leading report
Why can't math majors party?
Because they can't drink and derive
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
Warning: major spoilers ahead!
I hope Elon Musk does not get involved in any major scandal.
Because Elon-gate will go on forever.
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.
Maybe that will resolve things.
(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)
Did you all hear recently that a major cheese factory exploded in France?
After the G7 summit, they should follow it up with a C major summit
So things can get resolved
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar
We are the foremost experts in recycling!
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
What do Betty Crocker and Major League Baseball have in common?
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tried to Log a Rhythm!
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