You hear about the scarecrow who won a major award?
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jan 14 2021
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, βDonβt. Thereβs no future in it.β
π︎ 51
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Choose a major you love
and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring
π︎ 28
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︎ Dec 29 2020
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.
You should get a miner instead.
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 30 2020
A big light switch is a major turn-on
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 12 2020
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
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︎ Oct 05 2020
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I hope Elon Musk never gets caught up in a major scandal
I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....
π︎ 317
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tries to Log a Rhythm.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough
Now he can hear the voices too !
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 22 2020
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied Dwayne Johnson
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 28 2020
The culprit is a major D.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Aug 27 2018
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs
It was a completely miss-leading report
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 26 2020
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 08 2020
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.
Maybe that will resolve things.
(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 29 2019
After the G7 summit, they should follow it up with a C major summit
So things can get resolved
π︎ 52
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︎ Aug 29 2019
Did you all hear recently that a major cheese factory exploded in France?
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 20 2019
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar
We are the foremost experts in recycling!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 12 2020
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.
Police are still combing the area.
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︎ Nov 11 2019
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Why isn't HIV a major cause of depression?
Because it's not that hard to stay positive.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 06 2019
A major component of our brains
π︎ 597
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︎ Feb 24 2017
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 24 2019
Fridge has a major leek
π︎ 17
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︎ Oct 27 2018
The ER gave my son a stuffed bear to take home. I named him MRSA Major.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 02 2019
This was a major laugh
π︎ 176
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︎ May 28 2017
Did you guys watch the news? Someone poured oil all over a major Jordanian city and heated it up.
π︎ 5
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︎ May 18 2019
6 hours after a major bank robbery took place, the bank have finally released their statement.
Withdrawn: Β£9,000,000
Balance:Β£0.00
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 18 2019
The news was showing a series of major fires all within close proximity to each other...
... my fiancΓ©e said "It's probably arson." I retort with "Our son would never do that!"
Its a wonder she's marrying me.
π︎ 800
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︎ Jul 28 2015
Why did the business major take a band class?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 25 2018
π︎ 131
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︎ Feb 08 2015
What do you call a fish that majors in geometry?
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 03 2018
A Martian has filed a race discrimination lawsuit against a major US corporation
This Martian went to apply for a job, despite his low qualifications. The interviewer asked about college education and the Martian said he didn't have that. When asked if he ever did that line of work before, the Martian said no. So the interviewer thanked the Martian for coming, but added that he thought that the Martian was a bit too green for the job -- hence the lawsuit.
(Not original, but I don't remember where I heard similar.)
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 25 2018
So a council meeting involving a large sum of employees were under major stress on what to call their restaurant. The team leader was furiously dissatisfied and screamed:
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 25 2018
If you're a CS major, there's no snaking around Python.
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 12 2018
A math major just finished up their undergraduate school...
The math major shared with his family how excited he was to finally get his degree. His dad asked, "Are you sure it isn't a radian for you?"
π︎ 135
π
︎ Feb 06 2015
Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?
They tried to Log a Rhythm!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
βDad, I want to be a history major!β
Dad: I donβt see any future in it.
π︎ 102
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︎ Sep 27 2018
I told my dad I wanted to be a history major.
Dad: I donβt think thereβs a future in that.
π︎ 16
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︎ Nov 09 2018
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