You hear about the scarecrow who won a major award?

Apparently, he was out standing in his field.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnEvilSunBro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,

He said, β€œDon’t. There’s no future in it.”

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Choose a major you love

and you'll never work a day in your life because that field probably isn't hiring

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
They say if you want to be a successful prospector, you shouldn't get a major in geology.

You should get a miner instead.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A big light switch is a major turn-on
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bismuth482
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I almost got a double major in Mathematics and Agriculture

...but I couldn't pass cowculus.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaMammatus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece

Rookie mistake

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hatem96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope Elon Musk never gets caught up in a major scandal

I just imagine Elon-Gate would be really drawn out....

πŸ‘︎ 317
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OpthomacePrime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did yiu know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tries to Log a Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunytou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough

Now he can hear the voices too !

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my friend who is a major in Geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?

He replied Dwayne Johnson

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebadger96
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The culprit is a major D.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I read a report that said 100% of the world's major corporations had unmarried female as CEOs

It was a completely miss-leading report

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitchyPolice
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
They should have a follow-up to the G-7 meeting called the C Major Summit.

Maybe that will resolve things.

(Not OC but I saw it on FB and it was new to me)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_awesome365
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
After the G7 summit, they should follow it up with a C major summit

So things can get resolved

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you all hear recently that a major cheese factory exploded in France?

Da Brie was everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The Green New Deal now has Dadjokes as a major pillar

We are the foremost experts in recycling!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qmechan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A large truck transporting wigs and toupees has crashed on a major highway sending its cargo everywhere.

Police are still combing the area.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.

They called me Soccertes.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackFunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn't HIV a major cause of depression?

Because it's not that hard to stay positive.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A major component of our brains
πŸ‘︎ 597
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABS96
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
What did Justin Timberlake say when the lead singer of Weezer asked him to name a major peninsula on the northern coast of the Black Sea?

Crimea, Rivers.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/underdog_rox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Fridge has a major leek
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spookyAGENT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
The ER gave my son a stuffed bear to take home. I named him MRSA Major.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dino_Mamma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
This was a major laugh
πŸ‘︎ 176
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmgladeluxe
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you guys watch the news? Someone poured oil all over a major Jordanian city and heated it up.

It was Petra frying

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadnav
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
6 hours after a major bank robbery took place, the bank have finally released their statement.

Withdrawn: Β£9,000,000

Balance:Β£0.00

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adc2502
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
The news was showing a series of major fires all within close proximity to each other...

... my fiancΓ©e said "It's probably arson." I retort with "Our son would never do that!"

Its a wonder she's marrying me.

πŸ‘︎ 800
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πŸ‘€︎ u/She_Likes_Cloth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the business major take a band class?

He wanted to TrumpIt.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrippyHippyDan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Musical puns are a Major Key to my happiness imgur.com/G4nFNxI
πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuclearBoredom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fish that majors in geometry?

An Angle-r fish.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ether_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A Martian has filed a race discrimination lawsuit against a major US corporation

This Martian went to apply for a job, despite his low qualifications. The interviewer asked about college education and the Martian said he didn't have that. When asked if he ever did that line of work before, the Martian said no. So the interviewer thanked the Martian for coming, but added that he thought that the Martian was a bit too green for the job -- hence the lawsuit.

(Not original, but I don't remember where I heard similar.)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
So a council meeting involving a large sum of employees were under major stress on what to call their restaurant. The team leader was furiously dissatisfied and screamed:
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_Keyhan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
If you're a CS major, there's no snaking around Python.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A math major just finished up their undergraduate school...

The math major shared with his family how excited he was to finally get his degree. His dad asked, "Are you sure it isn't a radian for you?"

πŸ‘︎ 135
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datetodoor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you know a major mathematical discovery was made when trying to put music online?

They tried to Log a Rhythm!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunytou
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, I want to be a history major!”

Dad: I don’t see any future in it.

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I wanted to be a history major.

Dad: I don’t think there’s a future in that.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report

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