Almost all garden gnomes have red hats
What did the hat day to the other hat?
You stay here, I'll go on ahead
What did the hat say to the bra?
You pick up those two and I'll go on ahead later.
How do you make any boat a hat?
You flip it over and it becomes capsized.
What happens when you put a cowboy hat on an Audi?
I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat...
One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!
Why do magicians wear top hats?
So the audience can't see their hare!!!
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.
Today I couldn’t take my hat off.
I guess you could say it was in caps lock.
What did the hat say to the hat rack?
You stay here. I'll go on a head.
I really hat that you can't edit your title
What if I make a spelling mistake?
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
What happens when you drop a red hat in a blue ocean?
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were
I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"
Two hats are sitting on a shelf
One of them says to the other:
You go on a head, I’ll catch up.
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You hang around here, I’ll go on ahead.
Well I was doing speedy shopping, until I stopped and had hat to break to see this. Quality puns at the mall.
What did the hat rack say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I’ll stay here.
Congress just passed legislation limiting the number of hats an individual may own.
I once saw a little guy with a red pointy hat riding the D.C. subway, listening to some music, tapping his toes perfectly in time with the beat
He was the greatest Metro Gnome ever.
I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.
Top down economic stimulation.
What kind of snake wears a hard hat?
Why don’t sailors like buying new hats?
They are afraid of cap sizing.
Two hats are hanging on a hat rack. One says to the other: you stay here
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?
Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.
Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You can go on a head. I’ll just hang around.
What did the scarf say to the hat?
I’m going to hang around here, you go on a head.
I knew a guy who wore a hat with an extra long bill. He said it was to protect his nose from the sun. I asked him why is that?
He said....
No one likes a brown nose.
I think think my son is paranoid, he's even wearing a tinfoil hat...
I just can't tell what he's thinking anymore.
What did the tie say to the hat?
"You go on ahead, and I'll hang around here."
what did one hat say to the other?
you stay here i'll go on ahead
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.
Two female wizards are chatting... the first says to the second, I liked the hat you were wearing last week. The second says...
What did one hat say to another?
You stay here, I'll go on a head!
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.
im balding and my girlfriend said I need to wear a hat to cover it up. I told her no and she broke up with me... no cap..
A Hat Trick of Patricks
A while ago a friend was telling me how they named their bike Patrick and that their previous bike was the same color and also named Patrick. I replied "Cool. So if you get one more you'll have a Pat Trick."
(•_,•)
What a strange morning. First I find a hat full of money in the street and then I get chased by an angry guy with a guitar!
Did you hear about the guy killed by his own hat?
Two hats are hanging on a rack in the hallway,
One hat says to the other, "you wait here, I'll go on a head."
Did you ever hear that they named Canada pulling letters out of a hat?
The person drawing them said, "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
[OC] Hats off to this legend
This is a true story, I'm relaying it as I heard it yesterday.
Yesterday I was at the Summit Shop of Pike's Peak (14,100 feet in elevation) in Colorado. As I was standing in line to purchase a few things from their cafe, among them some of their 'famous' donuts I heard a dad and son have the conversation below:
Son: "These Donuts look weird."
Dad: "That's because they're high altitude donuts."
S: "How do you know they're high altitude donuts?"
D: "Because we're at a high altitude."
Did you know if you hold a hard hat up to your ear....
What starts with a "W" and ends with "hat"...
Why did someone put a party hat on my knee?
They thought it would be funny.
My disabled friend said that he invented a Helping Hat.
He should've named it a Handy Cap
It has been a bit of a strange day today... First of all I found a hat full of money in our local High Street,
then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift.
If your boat sinks, you can use it as a hat
What did the hat say to the hat rack?
Goodbye for now, I’m leaving on ahead...
Why do witches not wear a normal hat?
Because there's no point in it.
What do you call tin foil hat graduates of the National Secret Honor Society?
What did one hat say to another
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
slaps knee
I'm entering into the world's tightest hat competition
I hope I can pull it off.
What did the hat say to the tie?
“You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”
Why didn't they let the hat-fitter on the boat?
He was too excited about cap-sizing.
What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift!
Two restless hats are stores in a closest when one says to the other
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead
A magician pulls a calzone out of his hat
"Sorry I only know pizza parlor tricks".
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on a head, I’ll hang around here (Sorry if this was already used).
What do you call a chicken with a wand and a hat?
I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all my candy in a hat.
And when a guy tried to take the candy from my hat I said, “My hat my candy”.
2 puns, 1 post. Resistol (resist all) poison. This type of hat is called a Cattleman, hence the name “The Rattleman”
Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?
You just turn it over and it's capsized
I met a cowboy in a brown paper hat, brown paper waistcoat and brown paper pants.
He was wanted for rustling.
More dad jokes at www.keeplaughingforever.com/dad-jokes
What starts with 'w' and ends with 'hat'
What did the bra say to the hat
You go on a head. I’ve gotta give these two a lift.
The weirdest thing happened today... First I picked up a hat with money in it
Then I got chased by a guy with a guitar!
What did the hat say to the pair of underwear?
You stay behind, I’ll go on a head.
Cowboy hats are so “well rounded”
What kind of hats do beers wear?
My dad would always tell me that, if my canoe flipped over, I could just use it as a hat...
My boss came in wearing his golf hat.
Did you know that any boat can be used as a hat.
You just need to turn it upside down, because it becomes capsized
What did the bra say to the hat?
I'll hold these two up, you go on ahead.
My friends 90 something year old grandmother got her with this today.
Can you help Dad figure out where he lost his hat?
It’s a real head-scratcher.
Two hats are hanging on a hat rack.
One says to the other; "You stay here, I'll go on a head"
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.
What did the hat say to the scarf?
You can hang around. I'll just go on ahead.
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?
Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.
What did the scarf say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
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