Why don't the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
Why does the Statue of Liberty wear a robe and not a T-shirt?
Well, with the extra “T” she would be a statute.
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
I made some of my favourite puns into drawings to go on t shirts that I’ve put online! This one is my favourite ‘High Steaks Poker’
Why can't Apple employees wear dress shirts?
Everyone at Apple hates buttons and holes, that's why they get rid of both on their new products...
My business of making T-shirts decorated with dayglo currency was struggling, so I asked my dad for advice.
He said, “I’ve told you a million times, money doesn’t glow on Tees.”
I saw a midget wearing a t-shirt with the slogan "I hate black people" on it...
I thought to myself... "that's a little racist"
Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?
Because he didn’t collar.
I went to a fortune tellers conference. They had free t-shirts.
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...
But it turned out not all of them were mediums
One of the T-shirts in my closet asked the other one : Whats up mate.
The other T-shirt replied : Nothing much. Just hanging out here.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
My new business failed miserably, I was selling T-shirts featuring glow in the dark dollar bills
But then my Dad reminded me: money doesn’t glow on tees.
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears a sleeveless shirt that just can't let something go?
I have a side business selling sexy T-Shirts.
The business name is Gig It T.
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
[A British Joke] I was wearing a T-Shirt with an anchor on it and my Dad put the letter 'W' on the left side of it
He then said that's what you are son
I bought me some of those new paper shirts. I don't like them -
On Halloween, I will be wearing a normal everyday T-Shirt
I'll be going as a Casualty
I went to the doctor, and he said I was overweight. I'm not allowed to wear white T-shirts any more.
He told me I have to dye it.
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory
I once had a job in a t-shirt factory. Every day, t-shirts would come down the line, and using this big rubber stamp, I’d apply a handful of dots to them, at random, to just given them a general design that wasn’t blank t-shirt. It was soul sucking, but it paid the bills.
However, I kept running into a problem. I wasn’t applying the dots fast enough. It was a mental thing - I’d get hung up on where should I apply the next dot so it doesn’t look bad, etc. But one of the guys who’d been there longer than I had gave me a piece of advice. He told me to cross to my eyes. That way, I could just kinda zone out and hit the t-shirt a few times randomly without paying much attention to where exactly I was applying the dots. It worked like magic.
Well eventually I was getting ready to leave the factory and they had me train my replacement. It only took one day. I left him with one piece of advice. I told him not to get too hung up on the specific details but just to make sure he dotted his tees and crossed his eyes.
The cops are warning us about a serial killer who strangles his victims using smaller and smaller T-shirts.
The police are saying that he’s still at large.
I found a T Shirt from the Respiratory Health summer camp my Mom went to from 25+ years ago..
There's an amendment in America for people to wear T-shirts.
I call it "The Right To Bare Arms"
What’s the difference between a man in a suit on a bicycle and and man in shorts and a T-shirt on a unicycle?
There was this T-Shirt joke I used to know as a kid.
But I’ve grown out of it.
What do you call white t-shirts that are too small?
I was going to buy a t-shirt for my daughter.
On the label it said "Age: 10-11 years."
I thought, no way am I buying her a t-shirt that is that old.
For his birthday, I bought my friend a “I am A Nudist” t-shirt.
I haven’t seen him wear it yet.
“Insert tank t-shirt here”
My wife was wanting to throw a shirt into the dryer to get the wrinkles out but she wanted to spray it with water first. She couldn’t find a spray bottle close by so she instead grabbed the iron to spray it... talk about the ultimate irony.
T-Shirt gag for JoKing
Have mother in laws 50th birthday coming up. We are getting T-Shirts made up and we want to have T-Shirts made up for the guests and one made up for the mother in law. Her name is Jo King.
We are having thoughts on
She is turning 50? You gotta be JoKing for the guest T-Shirt
I’m Jo King and I’m turning 50 for the mother in law shirt.
Any better ideas then this?
I had this idea for a T-shirt. It would say “Guaran” all over it
I’m sure it will sell really well in the market. It’s a guarantee!
La Cost of this t-shirt was suspiciously low.
I asked for some Cubans for my birthday, but got a Che Guevara T-shirt instead.
Have you guys heard of those new paper T-shirts?
I wasn't gonna tell the host that I considered wearing a t-shirt covered in poo to his party.
But in the end I decided to come clean.
What do you call an egg in a stupid t-shirt?
A lot of people won't wear a shirt with a Jewish lampstand printed on it.
I, however, am in the Menorah tee.
I bought a Microsoft Office themed T-shirt.
Did you hear about that guy who took t-shirts and twisted them up and tied them with rubber bands, then dipped them into buckets filled with different colored liquids?
My favorite t-shirt in the museum of science in Chicago
What do you call a reptilian detective that wears sleeveless shirts and just can't let something go?