What type of undies do elephants prefer?

Trunks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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What do you call a pair of undies that was lost in the mail?

A late bloomer.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StanggTwin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Undies over

My 2 year old daughter figured out she could wear her underwear on her head. My wife told her to show me.

Kid: "Daddy, I wear the undies!"
Me: "Kiddo, you wear undies under. Wearing them over makes them ovaries"

My wife keeled over and started coughing from laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theorin331
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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What do you call a skidmark that won't come out?

Undie turd

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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The toddler pooped his pants, but kept on playing...

...Undie-turd.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Living room
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psychefreak22
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Despite my best efforts, I pooped my pants

It was an undeterred undie turd

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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I just caught a glimpse of my wife wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing.

Today is laundry day.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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Why are sharts so persistant?

Because they're undeterred (undie turd).

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shiggy_O
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Does anyone know how to get stains out of cloth diapers?

We've tried everything, but it remains undie turd.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_mcdo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I spilled Thai tea on my lap....

Now my undies are Thai tea whiteys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fulloftrivia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Doc Visit

When Dermatologist finishes looking me over, he asks if anything strange was on my penis. ( I was wearing undies). I said " once in awhile the wife"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.

He’s been undie-feeted ever since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beeeeen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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The secret to winning a pun contest is to stuff your shoes with underwear before the contest.

Seems to be working as I'm undie-feeted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spinnerhead
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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How do you make holy water

You boil the Hell out of it

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brodcasting
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
🚨︎ report
Nearing the finish line, a marathon runner was so driven to win, that even when he pooped his pants, he continued on. When asked what he felt at that crucial moment, he replied...

"Undeterred" / "Undie turd"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_noid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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My aging dad decided to enter a kickboxing tournament

He's not athletic, and he'd never fought before. I thought he was crazy to even enter it, but he said he had a plan to win: he would wrap his feet in underwear. I didn't see how that would help, but he surprised us all and went undie-feeted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
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I should have laughed...

So my dad loves to tell jokes, not one has ever been funny. So one day my GF was over and he decided to share a joke with her. He does. I look at him and I'm like "cmon Dad, that's horrible! U can do better" and laughed kinda like I was pitying him. He goes u think ur so cool huh?" He then got up grabbed me and locked me between his legs. So u all can understand, I'm 16 5"8 and thin. So not many people can't beat me. My dad is 6"3 and jacked. He looks likes mark wahlberg, from pain and gain, and that's not an overstatement. He then goes "what should we do now? How about an old fashioned wedgie!" He grabbed my underwear and pulled as hard as he could. "Why do u want to date a nerd that where's briefs? Haha" he's going. She starts laughing a little. He then goes "let's give u (GF) a better view" he then turns me around and lifts me up with a wedgie, "look at this dork dangle by his undies! Take a picture!" She did then pulled hard again and my underwear tore. He looked at me and went "maybe u shouldn't act like ur top dog kid, it'll get ur undies ripped right off." And she shared the pic around school, and know people come up to me saying "dude ur dad Is like a jock who gives u wedgies!" And makes fun of me for it. A couple of the seniors football player pinned me down and wedgied me so bad in the halls my underwear ripped off. And everyone was laughing. At least it happened at the end of the year so I only had 2 week of teasing. People have forgotten about. IT WAS horrible. And humiliating. So now I laugh at his jokes no matter how cringey they are, cause I fear his wedgies. Because their not regular. There delivered by a man who's biceps are bigger than my head. It's very painful. SO THE LESSON IS TO ALWAYS LAUGH AT DAD JOKES, escpeically if he can dangle u by ur undies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kwiikberg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2017
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Did you hear about the mailman who was taking the mail, coating it in patΓ©, and sticking it in his underpants?

... It was undie livered.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spankleberry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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Dad dadjoke'd the TV

TV: "What would you change if you won 10 million this Thursday?"
Dad: "first of all, I'd change my undies"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tunami
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2014
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