Mom Jeans Puns

She was talking about how she had never seen me wear them before. Me:"What are you talking I've been wearing them for months?" Dad pipes in:"What and you still haven't washed them!?"

Dad from 3 rooms over yells out "Hold me closer tiny pantser!"

I was trying on some really old pants, and this particular pair of pants were fucking tight. Like, squeeze my soul out tight.

I remarked- " Good god, when did we buy these? 1947? (I usually say this when I'm talking about something old. Independence and whatnot)

And my dad goes " Yeah. Your gramps passed it on to me, and now its yours. That's why they're called Jeans."

My mom got annoyed.

Tonight this was an exchange my parents had about my brother: Mom: Suki116's brother, don't wear those jeans to school again... I've already told you they look ratty. Dad: Why are you so hard on him? What's wrong with the jeans? Mom: He looks like a hobo! Dad: ARE YOU A HOBOPHOBE!?!

Her mom and I were in the examination room when the doctor had her get out of her pants and change into a gown and examined her lower area and said. "Wow you've got a perfect vagina" I couldn't help but say... "Well it's definitely not in her jeans" Her and her mom both looked at me in amazement. Totally worth it.

My niece is over and my mom is doing her laundry. "Grandma, I had money in my jeans and now they're in the washer." "Oh. So we're laundering money."

Dad is wearing work jeans with holes, hasn't changed to church clothes yet. Mom says, "You weren't planning on wearing those hole-y jeans were you?" Dad replies, "Well, it is an all Holy Night!"