I'll stick to my ribs

A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.

"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.

Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dazmo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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That's some prime rib roast rith there
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squidley7793
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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Why, after a rib dinner, did everyone want wet, juvenile nocturnal raptors?

And why do they think I’d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Read to have your ribs tickled.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farhan_Hyder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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When do ribs become seafood?

When you eat it in a so-fish-ticated restaurant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/falknorRockman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Do you like ribs or wings?

I like them both i am bisnacksual

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drgonnofski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Have you ever tried glueing a hundred beef rib-eyes to every window of your house?

It’s pane steaking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Strudels stick to your ribs

Because they are made out of pastry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wordjunque
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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Can you Spare a Rib?

At the grocery store with my wife and we walk past the meat counter.....

Me: Oh these ribs must be the extras!

My Wife: Huh? What are you talking about?

Me: The package says they are Spare Ribs.

My Wife: Oh geez, you really need to stop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cdub5298
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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Baby Back Ribs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellABunk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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How do surgeons do chest operations without breaking the rib cage?

They use the key.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Did you hear about the sentient rack of ribs working at the BBQ?

Though it was good at its job, it was fired anyway.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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I was eating ribs at a BBQ restaurant, and the waiter asked me, β€œ Sir, do you need a Wet-Nap?”

I said, β€œNo thanks. I already took one this afternoon.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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How do nymphomaniacs like their barbecue ribs?

Bonin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanOfLight
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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Why don't mathematicians need knives to eat prime rib?

It's indivisible!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2015
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So I was eating ribs last night

And my dad came and sat down beside me at the table. I apologized for not waiting to begin my meal, and told him that I was utterly starving having not had lunch.

He looked at me and said "I can tell, I can see your ribs" then he began to eat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/floppypick
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
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My father fell from a tree and shattered the ribs on his left side

He's really broken up about it

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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If Amazon sold meat, it would be Prime rib.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neragonian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2017
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While eating ribs I ask my daughter if she's seen how they make those little moistowelettes.

http://i.imgur.com/KqAnS3v.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatherramon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2017
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Last weak I broke my rib...

...when I asked my dad what was for dinner he said:

"Spare ribs", and he actually made me eat spare ribs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FelixMcCulloch64
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2015
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Ribs

My sister asked me how many ribs we have. I ain't got a clue so I was like "six or seven maybe". Mums a doctor and looks outraged at me not knowing the right answer. Me: "that's not something you learn I bet dad doesn't know the answer. Dad how many ribs have we got"

Dad: I dunno, depends if they're saucy and how many your brothers having

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megpuss
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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Ribs were finally done, my friends dad goes outside on the deck to yell to us, "Ribs are done! Everybody come."

"But not on me"

He wasn't a very good role model.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worldDev
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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