A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.
"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.
Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"
And why do they think I’d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?
I'm a steak-holder.
When you eat it in a so-fish-ticated restaurant
It’s pane steaking
I like them both i am bisnacksual
At the grocery store with my wife and we walk past the meat counter.....
Me: Oh these ribs must be the extras!
My Wife: Huh? What are you talking about?
Me: The package says they are Spare Ribs.
My Wife: Oh geez, you really need to stop.
Because they are made out of pastry.
Dad: "Just fixing dinner."
They use the key.
Though it was good at its job, it was fired anyway.
Bonin'.
It's indivisible!
I said, “No thanks. I already took one this afternoon.”
And my dad came and sat down beside me at the table. I apologized for not waiting to begin my meal, and told him that I was utterly starving having not had lunch.
He looked at me and said "I can tell, I can see your ribs" then he began to eat.
He's really broken up about it
http://i.imgur.com/KqAnS3v.jpg
...when I asked my dad what was for dinner he said:
"Spare ribs", and he actually made me eat spare ribs.
My sister asked me how many ribs we have. I ain't got a clue so I was like "six or seven maybe". Mums a doctor and looks outraged at me not knowing the right answer. Me: "that's not something you learn I bet dad doesn't know the answer. Dad how many ribs have we got"
Dad: I dunno, depends if they're saucy and how many your brothers having
"But not on me"
He wasn't a very good role model.
