Body puns
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonna-chill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked, β€œIf someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”

I told her I think it’s worth a shot

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dnizzle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend had the left side of his body ripped off in an accident.

But the doctor said he’ll be all right.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
When you die and donate you body to science...

it's a "dead giveaway"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yonatanruff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lez566
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I got my car horn fixed at a Lion King themed shop called Scar's Auto Body.

Beep repaired.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I love the part of the bumblebee that connects its body to its feet.

It’s the bee’s knees.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to not like my body hair

But it’s growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veikkaa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to be a man stuck inside a womans body....

Then I was born.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the body temperature of a tauntaun?

Lukewarm

πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to hate body hair...

But it grew on me!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ncarlton43
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My son wanted to see what would happen if he drank some of his body spray.

Now he speaks with a strange Axe scent.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BuhoBuhoGris
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What part of the body always loses?

Defeat

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doctor_Randumb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm 15 but I have the body of a 6 year old.

No seriously, he's in the freezer.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most boring body of water to cross?

The Redundan-Sea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/antirabbit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
After a half century of study, I’ve discovered the true connection between mind and body.

It’s the neck.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pauldeanbumgarner
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I thought my ballet-themed body art was unique

But then I saw someone who had a tutu tattoo, too.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If I discovered a new element that is slightly denser than the human body.

I would name it hooman, so people could ask are we hooman or are we denser?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/losersmanual
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the guy that had the whole left side of his body amputated?

He's all right now.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chuckie_Thunder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar

The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Outi94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a lumberjack who moonlighted as a serial killer. He used wood chippers to dispose of the bodies, which is why he was so prolific.

Every once in a while, these guys come out of the woodwork.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts

Ana Tomic: Ally, correct

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Your body has ran out of Potassium

Me: 0K

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fml_wlu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Introducing the fauna of the human body
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aj_seravla
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning

It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz.

πŸ‘︎ 40k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StuntsMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
A lot of people say they don’t have a racist bone in their body

After all, racism is only skin deep

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ru5tyk1tty
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Your body has ran out of magnesium.

Me: 0mg

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BallCoach79
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?

Tony Hancock

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitcoinBanker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.

Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the heaviest part of your body?

Your skele-ton!

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my kids, "Did you know Albert Einstein had a brother that was an evil scientist who created a monster from body parts and his name was…"

…Frank!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is the funniest bone in the human body?

Humerus.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KemalKinali
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Where's the best place to hide a body?

Page 2 of Google search results.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Honestly? I hated body hair at first, but

It's growing on me

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?

A tiny part of me says yes

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baconlover09
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A man has no body and no nose. Who is he?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PowerfulTour4204
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
When you die and donate your body to science...

it's a "dead giveaway"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yonatanruff
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperNova7039
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kamatzi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vamplestat666
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Krayola-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
"What do you call someone with no body and no nose?"

"Nobody knows."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?

he’s all right now

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What part of the body always loses?

Da feet.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaTyster2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tuna_teeth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctor: Your body is out of magnesium!

Me: 0mg

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ModernNomad97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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