Last time I chnecked neck puns weren't a thing. Neckst time I hear a neck pun I will wrneck you with my bioneckology.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LIN88xxx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why do vampires bite people's necks to turn them undead?

Because they're neck romancers.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eepdog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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My friend was worried about hitting all the bars on his guitar neck at his recital...

I told him not to fret.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...

He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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Last year wasn't much fun having a broken neck injury..

.. but at least now, I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Did you know that newborns have weak necks and need to have their heads supported?

Just a heads up.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iswitt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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I got into this huge fight with my chiropractor half way through my neck massage.

Now I have to keep looking over my shoulder.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Neck pain
πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breckendusk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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It took me a long time to recover from my broken neck

but afterwards, I never looked back.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.

I said to him is that a Fret!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?

Finger prince.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellowjenga
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Why is a giraffes neck so long?

Because its head is so far from its body...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I cricked my neck a few weeks ago and it’s changed my life forever.

I haven’t looked back since

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackit286
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.

I guess I’ll have to work my way up to it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnjm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why do giraffes have long necks?

To reach their heads.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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A drunk walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.

The bartender says, "You can stay but don't try to start anything."

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Please vote here: When a prince ties fabric around his neck, is it a scarf, cravat or an ascot?

Voting has ended. It's a tie.

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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I found out recently that it’s very common for Clowns to suffer from bad necks.

I guess it’s because they always sleep funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lethalwolfy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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My guitar neck got nervous

I said β€œdon’t fret”

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My doctor bit my neck and tried to give me a hickey.

1 star review for Dr. Acula

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I had a neck brace fitted years ago...

And I've never looked back since

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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I'm sticking my neck out on this one
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lams1d
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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Someone wanted to fight about whether I was wearing a neck-tie or a cravat.

I don’t know who was right, either way my ascot kicked.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeocal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur with a cramped neck?

A dino sore

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramilehti
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.

Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaggerdagger54
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do you find the best neck accessories?

Tie-land!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alehan85
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Why they put a bell around a cow's neck?

Because its horn doesn't ring.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creedwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Have you ever seen someone snap their own neck?

It’s a real head turner.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThompsonTom
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Wife said she gets turned on if I blow on her neck during sex.

I'm not a fan.

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackforgood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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My wife said she'll divorce me if I keep making puns about birds with long necks.

That's swan way to go about it.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?

Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuphoria
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?

Because their head is so far from their body

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, β€œIs that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safazz146
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because its head is so far from its body.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rednarb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Last year it certainly wasn't much fun having a broken neck.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a giraffes neck so long?

because their head is really far away from their body

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImOverThereNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
It was no fun when I sprained my neck in a car accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Some guy just threatened to attack me with a neck of a guitar.

I said "Is that a fret?"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone just told me they were going to smack me with the neck of their guitar.

I said, β€œis that a fret?”

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stinkerhubbin
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
🚨︎ report
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck in an accident a few months ago.

But now I can look back and laugh.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."

...independent!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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