I had a horrible nightmare about earthquakes last night

I woke up trembling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
The fault after the earthquake was separating the kitchen from my man cave...

The earthquake caused a rift in my marriage.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
Did u hear about the knight who died during an earthquake?

His name was sir chasm

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AniStark97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow during an earthquake..?

a Milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/h_cordeiro8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?

A stationary store

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottchiefbaker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
There was an 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Mexico

Only Juan died

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlowKermit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
I get so nervous during earthquakes,

that I start shaking uncontrollably.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I just experienced an Earthquake.

I'm fine, just a little shaken.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SAOgeek113
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
The safest place to be during an earthquake would be…

…in a stationary store…

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
I made a device to measure earthquakes.

It turned out to be faulty.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jo-Sizzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I can't stand when there's an earthquake!
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
GF has been blaming me for us losing all our stuff in an Earthquake..

even though I told her it wasn't my fault

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onermedscissor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one person say to another in the case of an earthquake?

"I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation were in"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ki11ah75
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Despite what you think, earthquakes aren't perfect

They all have their faults.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?

Milkshakes

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnohgi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
There’s only one thing to blame for the cause of earthquakes.

It’s always the Earth’s fault.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themarajade1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
After the earthquake, what did the gangster say when the apartment complex fell on him?

Get off me homes!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nmoore2211
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the rumors about the earthquake?

They all turned out to be faults!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

It's not my fault

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RufusHalloween
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...

"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"

"The Quakers"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the new research on earthquakes?

It's ground breaking

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitejuly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a dream about being buried by vodka bottles after an earthquake!

It was an Absolut nightmare! I am glad to have woken and seen the world and Skyy again...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
When the earthquake told a joke, nobody laughed.

But the ground was cracking up.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the best song to play during an earthquake?

Good Vibrations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IASIPFL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I was on the toilet when the earthquake happened.

It was a heavy Bowel Movement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepumpkins15
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an organic version of quaker oats?... earthquakes
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J4YV33lol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
why don't horses die in earthquakes?

their homes are very stable

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jobtimusprime
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My city had an earthquake recently

It was ground-breaking

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/newbie1canoebee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How does someone win by everyone losing because of an earthquake?

Win by de-fault.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
It isn't my fault that earthquakes happen
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoggitz
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The Earthquake portion of the museum had to close early today, scientists concluded that the exhibit was faulty.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freshescobar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.

It’s always her fault.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoStillReading
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Scientists have made a new discovery about earthquakes

It's groundbreaking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adweehun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that Alaskan earthquake?

Inuit would happen eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IASIPFL
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
I think we should stop blaming earthquakes for the destruction they cause

It's not their fault

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceXDragon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Seismologists predict a 9.2 magnitude earthquake will hit the Horn of Africa region.

It will really shake Djibouti.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Historyguy1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I'd tell you more about the earthquake I was in, but my memory of it is pretty

shaky.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
The recent studies done on earthquakes have been..groundbreaking

Hope you're not too shaken after hearing that one

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketHealer21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the recent earthquake?

It totally wiped out Etchasketchistan.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaunceychaunce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Scientist have just found out that Jupiter does not experience earthquakes

It experience jupiterquakes

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akumahluk
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The meeting of the Earthquake Research Club was over quickly...

It was called to order at 8 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why would horses survive an earthquake?

Because they're in a "stable" place

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What did one tectonic plate say to the other after an earthquake?

My fault.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
If in an earthquake, take shelter with a horse.

Their houses are always stable.

πŸ‘︎ 172
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RuneShine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Dad who claimed responsibility for the earthquake?

He said it was all his fault.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
The earthquake completely destroyed the French cheese factory.

All that was left was de brie.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alex_brodie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
When it comes to earthquakes, plate tectonics are at fault.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/perediablo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?

A Milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rammanoodle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about the earthquake?

It's ground-breaking.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magmorphius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
🚨︎ report
What happens if a cow gets involved in a earthquake?

You get a milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hyperz_Riddim
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A mysterious gas started leaking from a crack in the pavement after a small earthquake.

Not wanting anyone to be in danger, the town called in two investigators to check and see if the gas would be a hazard to the people nearby. The investigators took all their equipment and began to check if the gas would react to anything. They tested for common gases after taking small samples but none of them had a major presence. Undaunted the investigators pushed on and tried for rarer and rarer gases but found nothing. After hours and hours of checking and turning up no reactions, one investigator turned to the other and said, β€œMaybe the gasses are gone.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaHumbug
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
🚨︎ report
There was an earthquake and everyone blamed fracking.

Turns out it was the Earth's fault.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nooblapse
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Do they have many earthquakes in Saudi Arabia?

They get the odd sheikh here and there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
There was an earthquake in Washington DC the other day...

It was obviously the government's fault.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
🚨︎ report
With all of these earthquakes recently...

I'm really shook up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Death_By_Sexy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
If San Francisco was swallowed by an earthquake and you visited where it used to be, would you be at Sans Francisco, California?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Today they made me pay for an earthquake

It was a catastrophe

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B3tal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2017
🚨︎ report
So there was an earthquake near where I live...

There was an earthquake in California this morning near to where I live. My dad called me to see if I was ok, and I told him I slept right through it. He gave me this in response:

"So you were shaken, but not stirred."

(β•―Β°β–‘Β°οΌ‰β•―οΈ΅ ┻━┻

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoyomeep
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Earthquakes

Talking to a friend about possibly moving to California and earthquakes became a topic of conversation.

Her: Watch out for earthquakes though. No pressure.

Her: Sorry, I just get a little shaken up thinking about it.

Me: Don’t worry it’s not your fault

Then she didn't reply for a while.

Me: Did I crack you up? Are these puns resonating with you? Or are they just causing a rift in our friendship?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GK67
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
🚨︎ report
I get so nervous with earthquakes

that I start shaking uncontrollably

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow in an earthquake

Milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrashyBoi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
When the earthquake told a joke, nobody laughed.

But the ground was cracking up.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you call a cow during an earthquake

A Milkshake

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrohectical
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report

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