I had a horrible nightmare about earthquakes last night
The fault after the earthquake was separating the kitchen from my man cave...
The earthquake caused a rift in my marriage.
Did u hear about the knight who died during an earthquake?
What do you call a cow during an earthquake..?
Where is the safest place to be in an earthquake?
There was an 7.4 magnitude earthquake in Mexico
I get so nervous during earthquakes,
that I start shaking uncontrollably.
I just experienced an Earthquake.
I'm fine, just a little shaken.
The safest place to be during an earthquake would beβ¦
β¦in a stationary storeβ¦
I made a device to measure earthquakes.
It turned out to be faulty.
I can't stand when there's an earthquake!
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︎ Oct 15 2019
GF has been blaming me for us losing all our stuff in an Earthquake..
even though I told her it wasn't my fault
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︎ Nov 10 2019
What did one person say to another in the case of an earthquake?
"I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation were in"
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︎ Oct 08 2019
Despite what you think, earthquakes aren't perfect
They all have their faults.
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︎ Jul 07 2019
What do you call a herd of cows above an earthquake?
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︎ Apr 04 2019
Thereβs only one thing to blame for the cause of earthquakes.
Itβs always the Earthβs fault.
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︎ Jul 06 2019
After the earthquake, what did the gangster say when the apartment complex fell on him?
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︎ Sep 20 2019
Did you hear the rumors about the earthquake?
They all turned out to be faults!
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︎ Jul 15 2019
What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?
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︎ Mar 07 2019
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...
"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"
"The Quakers"
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︎ Jul 06 2019
Did you hear the new research on earthquakes?
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︎ Aug 23 2019
I had a dream about being buried by vodka bottles after an earthquake!
It was an Absolut nightmare! I am glad to have woken and seen the world and Skyy again...
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︎ Jul 05 2019
When the earthquake told a joke, nobody laughed.
But the ground was cracking up.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
What's the best song to play during an earthquake?
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︎ Apr 25 2019
I was on the toilet when the earthquake happened.
It was a heavy Bowel Movement.
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︎ Jul 06 2019
What do you call an organic version of quaker oats?... earthquakes
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︎ Jan 09 2019
why don't horses die in earthquakes?
their homes are very stable
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︎ Mar 13 2019
My city had an earthquake recently
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︎ Mar 16 2019
How does someone win by everyone losing because of an earthquake?
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︎ Apr 24 2019
It isn't my fault that earthquakes happen
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︎ May 15 2019
The Earthquake portion of the museum had to close early today, scientists concluded that the exhibit was faulty.
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︎ Dec 06 2018
I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.
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︎ Mar 11 2019
Scientists have made a new discovery about earthquakes
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︎ Apr 19 2019
Did you hear about that Alaskan earthquake?
Inuit would happen eventually.
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︎ Nov 30 2018
I think we should stop blaming earthquakes for the destruction they cause
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︎ Dec 15 2017
Seismologists predict a 9.2 magnitude earthquake will hit the Horn of Africa region.
It will really shake Djibouti.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
I'd tell you more about the earthquake I was in, but my memory of it is pretty
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︎ Oct 25 2018
The recent studies done on earthquakes have been..groundbreaking
Hope you're not too shaken after hearing that one
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︎ Sep 22 2018
Did you hear about the recent earthquake?
It totally wiped out Etchasketchistan.
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︎ Mar 01 2019
Scientist have just found out that Jupiter does not experience earthquakes
It experience jupiterquakes
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︎ May 10 2018
The meeting of the Earthquake Research Club was over quickly...
It was called to order at 8 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.
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︎ Feb 13 2019
Why would horses survive an earthquake?
Because they're in a "stable" place
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︎ Oct 01 2018
What did one tectonic plate say to the other after an earthquake?
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︎ Jan 28 2018
If in an earthquake, take shelter with a horse.
Their houses are always stable.
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︎ Dec 23 2015
Did you hear about the Dad who claimed responsibility for the earthquake?
He said it was all his fault.
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︎ May 15 2018
The earthquake completely destroyed the French cheese factory.
All that was left was de brie.
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︎ Feb 01 2018
When it comes to earthquakes, plate tectonics are at fault.
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︎ Jun 02 2016
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
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︎ Feb 22 2018
Have you heard the joke about the earthquake?
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︎ Dec 21 2017
What happens if a cow gets involved in a earthquake?
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︎ Apr 08 2018
A mysterious gas started leaking from a crack in the pavement after a small earthquake.
Not wanting anyone to be in danger, the town called in two investigators to check and see if the gas would be a hazard to the people nearby.
The investigators took all their equipment and began to check if the gas would react to anything.
They tested for common gases after taking small samples but none of them had a major presence.
Undaunted the investigators pushed on and tried for rarer and rarer gases but found nothing.
After hours and hours of checking and turning up no reactions, one investigator turned to the other and said, βMaybe the gasses are gone.β
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︎ Jan 17 2017
There was an earthquake and everyone blamed fracking.
Turns out it was the Earth's fault.
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︎ Aug 29 2017
Do they have many earthquakes in Saudi Arabia?
They get the odd sheikh here and there.
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︎ Aug 29 2017
There was an earthquake in Washington DC the other day...
It was obviously the government's fault.
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︎ Aug 04 2017
With all of these earthquakes recently...
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︎ Sep 21 2017
If San Francisco was swallowed by an earthquake and you visited where it used to be, would you be at Sans Francisco, California?
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︎ Mar 18 2016
Today they made me pay for an earthquake
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︎ Aug 17 2017
So there was an earthquake near where I live...
There was an earthquake in California this morning near to where I live. My dad called me to see if I was ok, and I told him I slept right through it. He gave me this in response:
"So you were shaken, but not stirred."
(β―Β°β‘Β°οΌβ―οΈ΅ β»ββ»
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︎ Aug 24 2014
Earthquakes
Talking to a friend about possibly moving to California and earthquakes became a topic of conversation.
Her: Watch out for earthquakes though. No pressure.
Her: Sorry, I just get a little shaken up thinking about it.
Me: Donβt worry itβs not your fault
Then she didn't reply for a while.
Me: Did I crack you up? Are these puns resonating with you? Or are they just causing a rift in our friendship?
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︎ Jul 16 2014
I get so nervous with earthquakes
that I start shaking uncontrollably
What do you call a cow in an earthquake
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︎ Aug 15 2019
When the earthquake told a joke, nobody laughed.
But the ground was cracking up.
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︎ Mar 10 2019
How do you call a cow during an earthquake
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︎ Dec 18 2018
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