My Wife got a thin crust pizza for dinner. It reminded me a lot of myself:

No dough and lots of cheese.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EoC77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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In pizza we crust πŸ™

Food puns anyone?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phy__C
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?

A brief Wellington

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Giraffaery
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Digiorno is launching a frozen pizza crust that spreads itself out on the pan...

I don’t feel like there’s a knead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Crust me, this is a good one
πŸ‘︎ 484
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSolidBongo9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Jesus Crust
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greigers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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I bribed my friends into helping me move by buying an extra large stuffed crust pepperoni...

I call it β€œinfluen-za.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dcrose89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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The crust is bitten
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hollowreader
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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The most sophisticated bread is always the upper crust.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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β€œCrust-free” bread would sell like hot cakes reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elbarto_007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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The crust
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaRealEnderguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1901victorco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Pizzakial $25.17 - The grasp of the desirous man is beset on all sides of the obliquity of the crust and the toppings upon them.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Target359
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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I may have crust a line... imgur.com/TZasSps
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrtomkania
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My mom would always wake up early to cut the crust off of my sandwiches.

She knew the crust was my favorite part. She hated me so much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wing-on-Wing
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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Bread
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uphihion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastπŸ™πŸ»β€οΈ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLoveRaviolis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Burnt my hawaiian pizza today...

Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.

EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Ive painstakingly identified the 4 Horsemen Of The Apocolypse
  1. Toast Malone
  2. Vladimir Gluten
  3. Elon Crust
  4. Bread Sheeran
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I found a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.

It is kneadless, to say.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Q: What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?

Κ‡snΙΉΙ”-ᴉʇuβˆ€ ǝΙ₯β”΄ :βˆ€

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zigbigidorlu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Who rises during Yeaster?

Jesus CRUST!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightdrawsnear
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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I hope my home-baked breadsticks turn out okay.

Fingers crust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradFromCorporate
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm a trucker. My dispatcher texted me to ask if I'd picked up a load of frozen toast. This was my response...

20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.

Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!

Sorry about my rye sense of humor...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimMarch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Just wanted to share my dad’s stupid little joke.

We were eating pizza with stuffed crust the other night. As we finished, he told us all, β€œman, I’m stuffed!”

It was even funnier that he was crying of laughter. I love my dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MidDFlanders
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.

His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vandorbelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
The pizza's boyfriend cheated on her

She now has crust issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caprinemo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
At dinner tonight, I made the greatest original pun I’ve ever heard and it went unappreciated.

My dad almost choked on a small flake of pizza crust, and he spent several minutes coughing in a loud and alarming way.

Finally he stopped, and he was all better. Someone caused him to chuckle, which triggered another fit of coughing.

I said... β€œThat definitely didn’t go well; I think he had a β€˜re-laughse’!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iFunny_Migrant
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad. Every Morning. To Everyone.

Dad: How'd you sleep??

Everyone: Good, and you?

Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.

Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kauto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2014
🚨︎ report
I just ate bread from the worst Bakery in America. I'd take you but...

There's no-knead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainnT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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Why wasn't Gandhi allowed in the Indian bakery?

He was known for being naan-violent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turumbarr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2015
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It's well known that incest was rampant among the English nobility...

But did you know that the Earl of Sandwich was completely inbread?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alphthesacred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2016
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I was grilling pizza for dinner tonight...

I was explaining the steps and process to my daughter.

I asked her, "do you know what you call the important and precious moments just before you burn the crust?"

She shook her head no.

"....Crunch time...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordHammerCock
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?

The crust station.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does Satan not eat the Pizza bone?

Because he's the Anti-Crust!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Archeologists have discovered the World's oldest bread...

I think they found it in the Earth's crust.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdotdave
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Wife said, "We're having sandwiches for dinner. What do you want on the side?"

I responded, "Crusts".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeusandhera
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Chinese lobster?

A crust-asian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kratoski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Baking on Easter Sunday

Crust is risen! Hallelujah!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dom111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
🚨︎ report
ALERT: do not eat at California Pizza Kitchen

Their crust is Faulty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Easter came early

Today i made myself a pizza. When it was done, looking all puffed up and cheesy, i took it out of the oven, held it above my head, and shouted, "The Crust Has Risen!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amcmg
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
🚨︎ report
We were eating supper from a local Indo-Canadian restaurant and my wife's eyes rolled so hard it was audible.

It's a nice little place that serves Indian food, and some Canadian stuff, like pizza. We ordered their Hawaiian special, and loved it. I told my wife the texture of the crust lead me to think they used Indian flatbread for it.

She replied "So that is the secret ingredient?"

"Could be," I answered. "But it's naan of your business what their recipe is."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xayoz306
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
🚨︎ report
My husband is finally a dad!

While watching a cooking show, one of the chefs was using cauliflower to make a pizza crust.

Me: Oh, she's not using any flour.

My husband: well it's a type of flour!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Franklin_Beans
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Christian pizza place?

Jesus Crust

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mbabygirl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2014
🚨︎ report
In pizza we crust
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solmonella
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
So yesterday I went to the store. All that I got was a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. That was all. Fortunately it was light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1901victorco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report

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